Regrets Anyone?

[PdxMan 4,292]

I would love some input on this particular worry -- will I be able to follow the restrictions -- I mean I have never been able to follow a diet in the past. What will make this different?

I had only been able to follow a diet plan for a few weeks, maybe a couple months in previous weight loss attempts, so I know what you mean. What will make this different ... ?

For me, as a participant in other 12 step programs, I had to come to grips with the fact I was powerless over food and I could not do this on my own. I needed help. I needed a fundamental change in my relationship with food. If a candidate cannot accept this as a fact, I think their WLS journey will be a more difficult one as the demons in your head don't leave just because your stomach has been shrunk. A change must also occur in the head.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

I would love some input on this particular worry -- will I be able to follow the restrictions -- I mean I have never been able to follow a diet in the past. What will make this different?

That is a question you will have to ask yourself, and it is why some will fail even with a teeny tiny tummy...head hunger, issues, and life can make this difficult.

It is taking me a long time - I have some serious metabolism issues also, but I have done alot to prepare for the repeated stalls I would have - and not being ravenous has helped so much.

No one can answer the question you asked - or not what I think you are wanting to hear.

You will be giving yourself a tool unlike anything seen in the history of fighting obesity - perhaps short of a famine - that you still hav eto work with to create results.

You will have to anticipate the unexpected, prepare, and hopefully read, and attend meetings and don't leave the docs by the wayside once you are approved - you will need innerstrength, and you will have to prepare yourself to never be able to hide behind the fat kid wall ever again....

[kyllfalcon 768]

It took several months of constant thought, analysis and worry for me to come to grips with having most of my stomach removed. At first I just could not wrap my head around having the sleeve, and was instead considering the band. I also struggled not just with the reduction of a major organ but the resulting life style changes. I worried about my life with my spouse, family dinners, work situation, you name it.

I forced myself to "pretend" a day in my life as it would become. I forced myself to "pretend" family gatherings and business luncheons. Over time, the pretending showed me that it really wouldn't be so bad, and I came to grips with it all. I have no regrets... not even the thousands of dollars I spent as self-pay!

Your concerns seem perfectly normal. Just keep researching, thinking, planning. You'll find your answers.

[AliveAgain 283]

It was hardest for me because I spent 28 years of my life at normal weight, and most of my twenties quite athletic and at times, underweight. Then some bad things happened in my life, along with age, and the weight came on. Before I was obese, I ate normal meals and went on my way. Dieted at times for bikini weather and that was it. The stress and low self esteem of being obese led me to find comfort in food. It was a horrible cycle to be in. I had lost the activities I'd loved previously, shut myself out from friends because I was the big one in the group, and started eating larger quantities of food. No junk besides pop, but not helping my situation. I tried and tried many times in the 7 years I was obese to lose the weight and it was not like losing 5-10lbs for summer. I'd fail 3 months in and then feel worse, which just brought on more eating for pleasure and soothing. My stomach became my only friend, and not a good friend.

Now that 90% is gone (yep, my doctor only does 90%) -- I have much more respect for what I'm sending down there. Can I eat pop and chips? Yep, I sure could. But I have such precious little space now, I don't want to. I want to give my body the healthy Protein and veggies, fruit from time to time. Yes, I have a piece of toast once a week or so. But it's 1/4 of the amount I used to eat in one meal. Yes, I have had Pasta. But I put two tortellini from my husbands plate on my fork, and that's all I need to savor the flavor. No more bowl of my own.

I have had a few moments where I wish I could have my stomach back for just one meal. But I know it's more social pressure than actual hunger. I want to partake in the celebration of food for parties, etc. Because I'm rarely ever hungry now. And when I actually feel hungry, I know 2-4oz of food will take care of it and I'm satisfied. Also, stress can make me go back to those head hunger moments when I'd reach for food to calm down. But I'm human, I lapse into old thoughts. Instead I go for a walk or bike ride, and it's my new stress reliever!

[CaliKat 153]

Not a single regret.

Best decision I ever made. Sorry husband, sorry college, sorry career.... but this is the #1 best decision I have ever made because it has positively impacted my life in every other area. And I WAS fundamentally healthy before surgery.... a ticking time bomb for diabetes, HBP, etc - but I was healthy.

Some say that they operate on our stomachs and not our heads- its physically true.... and I dont know if its attitude, support from this forum or the fact I self-paid.... but I woke up out of anesthesia with a fresh perspective and a desire to leave behind the binge eating, the volume eating and the emotional connections I had with food. Im kinda in the "get busy living or get busy dying" phase- where I choose to live fully.

If you are strong enough to seek answers, educate yourself and face the reality of your health, I am sure you are strong enough to make a change in your life.

Best of luck

[Sansa 39]

Great thoughts, everyone! Thank you for sharing. Like most of you point out, the sleeve changes the relationship with food. I wouldn't be able to depend on it like I do. I'll probably be amazed to find out just how little food that I need to survive. I like the idea of having to make what I eat count since I won't have room for anything more.

[amytug 996]

I. Love. This. Thread.

So much truth and awesomeness.

[bogeydog 30]

Thanks to everyone for all of the thoughts and input. I have done everything I can to mentally prepare.... I am assuming that everyone that has had this surgery has failed at multiple diets -- who in the world would turn to such a drastic measure without trying really hard at changing how they eat, and failing? From what I can tell, most people have a lot of success with this, so my thought process is that a large number of people who haven't been able to food restrict in the past are able to with the surgery. I know the sleeve is a tool, but it seems like it must be a pretty powerful one. I know I am over thinking this, but like everyone I have a lot of expectations and worries. Like .". If I am strong enough to do the preop liquid diet, why couldn't I just do that until I lost the weight and then I wouldn't have to have the surgery." I am rambling .... Sorry. But as it gets closer, the more this kind of stuff goes through my head.

[AliveAgain 283]

It's funny that the one thing that worried me the most was the relationship with my husband changing. We had our favorite restaurants and loved to partake in cooking great meals. Granted he's been 5'11" and 160lbs his whole adult life. I was afraid we would not know what to do with each other anymore, how to have conversations when it wasn't over a meal or cooking. But we chatted just last week - on one of our many, many walks together - at how this experience has brought us much closer together. We walk and/or bike together once if not twice a week, we're back to exploring new things to do, and it's been wonderful.

I had those same thoughts, as pretty much all of do. The doubt, the wonder if it's giving up too easily. Everyone knows their willpower and I say all the better if you can do it without the cost, recovery and risk of surgery. But in my case, my knees were within a year of more surgery. My PCOS was becoming more severe, and the years it would have taken to do this on my own would have been much harder on me and my loved ones. Sure, I was really good at dieting and losing 15-20lbs on my own. Then the scale would barely move. I'd have a stressful day/week and give up. I was tired of that yo-yo and knew I had to get serious.

I just got back from a 12 mile bike ride I could not have done 4 months ago. I'd say that speaks for itself.

[amytug 996]

I have a lot of those same thoughts. But I sure would have an easier time doing low carb or any sensible eating plan if I got full quicker and wasn't always starving.

Sure, I still have to differentiate between real and head hunger and make healthy choices, but it will be a lot easier after surgery.

Emlefie, That was great!! Are you at goal? 12 miles is incredible!!

[AliveAgain 283]

Amytug, I'm halfway to goal at 3.5 months out from surgery. The scale is hovering at 201 the last two days, just waiting to hit Onederland soon!

[amytug 996]

Awesome!!

I wonder if I can get my husband on a bike.

[DesertRat 32]

I'm really appreciating this thread. I'm doing a lot of soul searching right now about this decision. For me, the issue has always been portions. I can relate to eating too many slices of pizza or just too much of anything, even healthy foods. During my years at normal weight I had to watch the scale but I could, at least, eat fairly normally. Nowadays I have to be ravenous to lose weight slowly and one lapse can undo a lot of work. Reading how others have dealt with similar issues gives me confidence that I'm making a good choice.

[Sansa 39]

Nowadays I have to be ravenous to lose weight slowly and one lapse can undo a lot of work. Reading how others have dealt with similar issues gives me confidence that I'm making a good choice.

I'm the same way, DesertRat. I lose weight so slowly and gain it back so quickly! My problem is that I lose weight all week long but then gain it back with just one meal on the weekend. It's discouraging. I'm thinking that not being able to eat as much will be a step in the right direction. I don't know about you but I get tired of being hungry and thinking about food all the time. I believe that I would enjoy life more if hunger and food weren't such a prominent part of it.

[SkinnyRicki 34]

I'm the same way' date=' DesertRat. I lose weight so slowly and gain it back so quickly! My problem is that I lose weight all week long but then gain it back with just one meal on the weekend. It's discouraging. I'm thinking that not being able to eat as much will be a step in the right direction. I don't know about you but I get tired of being hungry and thinking about food all the time. I believe that I would enjoy life more if hunger and food weren't such a prominent part of it.[/quote']

I am the same way!! I look forward to being able to somewhat take food and eating out of the occasion and just live !