Who Are You Telling

[Look@meitsEmily 26]

I have been telling friends that are not so close to me about my surgery in October. I was going to keep it quiet but everyone will figure it out when I'm out of work for 2 weeks and start eating much smaller portions as well as major weight loss. How have you all been handling telling people?

[Lissa 2,631]

I just tell it flat out. I had weight loss surgery. Usually it's in response to someone who hasn't seen me in a while asking how I've lost all this weight, but I am truly a sleeve evangelist IRL as well as online. The stigma that surrounds WLS will not disappear until real people start talking about it and not trying to be coy. I've lost weight in the past on every fad diet out there. WLS was right for me. If someone actually has the nerve to say something snarky to me, I just let them know that having my sleeve done saved my life, literally. I don't care who knows. Once I started posting my journey openly on FB, I've had several people contact me asking for more information because they are at least slightly interested in doing this. If my openness saves one person from the complications of obesity, it's worth it!

[buffalogal 52]

This a tricky one for me, because no matter how I lose, to me it's private and I don't want to talk about it. The biggest concern for me is telling my adult children simply because I don't want the to worry.

[Musharooni 62]

I've been very honest with people and told them I was going to have WLS. I haven't had a negative reaction yet...not a true negative reaction. I had a couple of people who had family who had bypass over 15-20 years ago that died due to complications and they expressed true concern but both were quick to admit that they were quite certain that there have been a lot of advancements in the WLS field since their loved ones had surgery and that living obese carries its own set of risks. Everyone has been truly amazing. Several years ago a girl at work that had lost a tremendous amount of weight told me she had done it by just eating less & exercising more. A few weeks later, someone from her department that had overheard our conversation came to me and told me that the coworker had not been 100% honest with me, that she was eating less, but because she had WLS a month or so prior. I was very angry and hurt by that. I thought "Why lie to the fat chick??? Lie to the skinny girls, but don't lie to the fat chick, I feel bad enough already." That memory was a big part of the reason I was honest with people, I don't want to feel I am being less that honest with anyone and, hopefully as I continue through this journey, I'll be a source of inspiration to others who may have been on the fence about WLS.

[4ALongerLife 329]

Well said Lissa!

I was scared initially to tell anyone. Not sure if scared is the right word, but apprehensive. I didn't want to hear any negative inputs. I've struggled with my weight since I was 6 months old. Laugh but I have pictures to prove it. My dr. scared the tar out of me, as well as a strong genetic predisposition for a massive heart attack or cancer to kill me. Obesity is a huge contributor to both.

The day before my surgery, I told my in laws. It was well received by both, thankfully... my father in law even told me that I should be very proud to do something so courageous. IDK on that but, after having my surgery and so many issues, I didn't care who knew. I am happy to be alive and well now after so much time in the hospital.

I can't hide how little I eat as I am full quickly. But then again a "friend" last week made a comment as I ate a small piece of cake..... hello ding dong, that's another reason why I had this surgery, I can still indulge, but on a small level. C'est la vie, you can't win with everyone, but I don't lie well either.

Do what you think is right but I do encourage you to try to let ppl know. Until we speak of this more, we can't get rid of the misconceptions about this surgery (i.e. 'the easy way out" - which I assure you from my experience is not applicable).

Negative nellies can kiss it, I did this for me and I have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

[iegal 460]

Okay - I have a different point of view. Hopefully this does not make me ostracized. You do realize that each person chooses what is best for their own situation and circumstances, right?

I didn't tell anyone other than my fiancé and three very close girlfriends. My mom did not know for three months and she lives less than a mile away. My dad still does not know, nor does most of the family. My daughter found out about a month after surgery when she came back from college for a visit and read paperwork I had left out accidentally. Last thing she needed was to worry about her mom while she was out of state and unable to support me. Her focus was to be elsewhere.

Emotionally most of my my family & friends could not understand my need for WLS. Mom told me I just needed to "tape my mouth shut", easily said for a woman who has never worn over a size 4 her entire life. Others thought I should give conventional programs another shot. Yeah, like I had not tried repeatedly. How could I explain to them that "trying harder" was not the fix for me?

I had VSG for me alone. With a BMI of 33+ I was obese but not obese enough to medically qualify for surgery. So, my weight loss was easily explained away with a initial liquid diet, eating differently with dramatic Portion Control, exercising more and I stopped eating out. Now my mom knows about. Yes, she was upset I did not tell her but agrees she would have been a barrier in that initial weight loss.

Those who do not understand the struggles of being overweight simply could not understand my journey. Glad you all have an audience who accept WLS, I simply did not. I chose my support group wisely. I knew my audience and their levels of tolerance. VSG decision was too personal to share with mere co-workers or acquaintances.

Would not change how I handled. It was perfect for me. Listen to your heart so you what is best for you.

[StrangelyNormal 182]

Lol. I'm v-logging it all for the world to watch. If a surgery can give me my life back, I'm all in

[StrangelyNormal 182]

Lissa, I thought I was the only one that threw "snarky" around. If u were a man I'd have to marry u

[StrangelyNormal 182]

iegal, you're not going to be ostracized. Your journey is just that. Yours. And who you choose to tell is a part of that. On my journey I wanted information and I turned to YouTube and learned tons. I feel like if someone were there to hold some mirrors at the right angles I could sleeve myself BC I've seen so many surgeries....lol

I'm going to be self-pay in Mexico. I intend to put many minds at ease about Medical Tourism. I'm not promoting anyone, not paid to sit and tell a testimonial. I'm a straight shooter. Ok irl I suck at aiming....but I get as close to the target as I possibly can. Which is what I plan to do here as well. Ima shut up now

[shangefan 193]

Iegal, I agree with you. I am not necessarily worried about negative comments or unsupportive folks. I simply don't wish for my health issues to be a topic of conversation. What people say when I am not around is up to them; I am sure some folks talk about me already. But just as I wouldn't be inclinded to talk about other medical procedures, neither am I inclined to do so with this. Might that change at some point? Perhaps. But until then, I am completly satisfied to tape my mouth shut (tee hee) as it relates to this.