Im Having A Hard Time Adjusting.

[Sassiesmiles 8]

I am 6 weeks post op and am having a hard time. This is definitely about more than just food, for me it's affected everything. My relationships, my attitude and my stress levels. Did anyone else have a hard time or can you provide some advice?

[Wheetsin 714]

Are you being effected in a bad way? Good? Neutral? What is going on?

I didn't really have a hard time, or haven't yet - who knows what's coming. But this wasn't my first WLS, and with my first I shed pounds so dang quickly that I didn't have time to focus on much else. I have all kinds of time this time around.

What role did food play in your life? Whatever it was (usually it's control, but it can be more), it's normal to go through a mourning period. It can also be hard to find ways to replace the food that are healthy and not self-destructive. When something has been so significant in your life for a long time, well - there aren't many things we can successfully do "cold turkey" without finding a fast replacement, or quitting. We can't really quit, and if a replacement (addiction transfer, usually!) isn't readily available, in can leave you very lost.

[New1 201]

Sorry no advice, but support. I am having the same struggle at 7 weeks out. I am having a lot of work stress and my go to is still food. I'm not sure what to do to kick this habit. Maybe one of the vets here can provide some advice. I'm listening lol.

[desertmom 297]

Hi

Hang in there it gets better.I got some serious bad news and heard that we are moving countries at about 6 weeks and the emosional side of not being able to eat away my stress was a nightmare.Did some emosional eating...a hand full of popcorn, a few crisps,had a few glasses of very very diluted wine in the 2 weeks after that but found that didnt help.

It is now week 9 and everything feels so much better.The problems didnt go away but somehow the stress and anxiety did.I have come to accept that 1. If I want to I can snack all day and out eat the sleeve 2. It is my choice,which was the hardest thing to accept.

Also I have found that I can eat slightly more now (more kinds of food) than at 6 weeks and that helps.

Tis surgery is hard.I often envy people that say they dont feel hungry and dont think about food eanymore.Or they forget to eat and dont make the calories per day...hehehe....I have to have a brake on all the time as I would snack way to much if I allow it.

Just be kind to yourself at this point,dont be to tough about the eating and weight loss,dont create expectations that makes the emosional issues more.

And do let us know when it gets better.I whine in my blog and at seems to help as well.

xxo

[iegal 460]

Oh hun; Weight Loss is such an emotional journey. I had much more stress with the emotional issues than the concern over how much weight I was losing each month. Our surgeons did surgery on our stomachs, not our brains.

You will struggle with self esteem, self doubt will creep in, sabotage, fear, brain cravings for things you do not really want/need, outsiders mocking your accomplishments, relationships with others change and mostly your relationship with food changes drastically.

You will find others treat you differently simply because you weigh less. This depressed & angered me becasue I was the same girl, just a few pounds lighter. My world was changing as much as my body was changing.

Remember you are emerging into a new you. Accept some days will be good while others will be filled with regret.

Things get better - I promise. Slowly, but they do get better. Really. Here to cheerlead you on to those bright days ahead.

[crazycravings 15]

Deseret mom you hit

The nail on the head for me!! I am exactly the same with food and wish I could "forget" to eat!!

[ValerieSJackson 35]

We all are going to have to find a new GO TO for stress; try the gym: park; long hot bath, pamper yourself. DVR DR OZ; he has a lot of ideas to help with relief of stress; without eating. I too have been where you are pre surgery; I'm only 7 days out so I know my days are to come!

[paperbacknovel 1]

I am on the same boat and I've had to be really honest with my support system, kids included.

We have to be honest that this is a huge life transforming procedure we chose to do to ourselves so that we could improve our quality of life. Nobody can really know what we have done nor can they relate unless they have had the procedure themselves. I'll be honest, yes, I've had to eliminate a few people from my life or just stay away from them for a little while as ^^I^^ adjusted to the quality of life I have now.....Some were huge eaters, some can't relate why I chose this route, etc.

I have to remind myself to be patient with MYSELF and others because my body is a unique biological system where it has dramatically been interrupted and introduced with something new, yes, it can even efffect hormones.

Hang in there! This is a time to really focus on YOU and forecast a better YOU in the future. In the end, those that truly care WILL understand.

Hugs!

[starsleeve 31]

I feel the same way and i am only two weeks out. And i read these threds everyday and just wish i had the wilpower that the others do just to forget food. The mental struggle is so much harder then i thought it would be...

[Sleeved&Hopeful 182]

That first 6 weeks was easy on my body but hard on my mind. My family ordered pizza out and I couldn't have any and wasn't sure how to handle that. I thought oh I can just eat the toppings...well, I didn't but it was mentally difficult. The liquid diet and mushies stage was hard on me. However, once I could eat some dense Protein like chicken or shrimp it got a LOT better. I love chicken and fish and shrimp etc so I have done ok on the protein first. I know how it is to struggle with this! I still fight urges sometimes.

[SashaWLS 412]

Oh thank you for this thread!!!

I got a Lap Band on 4/18 and there are almost no posts on the lapbandtalk.com site about this topic... No one talks about feeling messed up, or depressed from this, so I came here in the hopes that I wasn't alone...

I really feel lousy. The food is fine. The not eating as much is fine... What's not fine is that I'm really feeling down... I'm not normally depressed, or haven't been in years and years. Usually I'm happy, bouncy, optimistic... But EVERYTHING is bringing me down. I've been mad at my husband, can't seem to let things go, my mind is racing with minor annoyances, I think my mother may not be talking to me (she has issues anyway) and it's sending me into a small tailspin, and I'm just all over the place.

I also know that we're used to eating to cover our feelings, so intellectually I get what's happening to me. What I don't get is what to do about it!! I want to curl up in a ball and have everyone just leave me alone.

I expected to have some emotional responses after surgery, but I just didn't expect to be THIS upset!

[MSTEXAZ 15]

Honestly its been messing with my head too two months out now. Its a new way of life its going to take some getting use to I just tell myself good thing I like left overs or Id be throwing food away left and right! Mind over matter!

[Sandpiper 6]

These threads are amazing...

I am lucky to have a very supportive therapist and she and I have talked so much over the last four weeks. One of the greatest things she told me was this - all of these feelings emerging now have been stuffed for years with food. It is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed at these feelings, because our main coping mechanism is gone now. So, the question is, how to deal with it when you don't know how? The answer she gave me was to really identify where all of the sadness/depression is stemming from. When you get overwhelmed, stop and really spend some time trying to look at what is going on in your life right then that might be triggering these feelings. By identifying them, it gives you the opportunity to make choices. I usually choose to find something productive at that moment to work through the grief, like listen to music or go outside for a little walk. Either way, the long term solution is not to be afraid. We are dealing with emotions that we have never dealt with before successfully and now their back. She gave me a book called "When food is Love" http://www.amazon.com/When-Food-Love-Exploring- Relationship/dp/0452268184/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337229267&sr=8-1 and it is helping quite a bit.

Many prayers for your success....

[Sassiesmiles 8]

Thank you all so much for sharing! I feel so much better knowing that Im not alone. I knew this would be hard and that each journey is an individual journey, I just never knew it would be this hard. For me, (and Im sure for a lot of us) food was my friend - one of my best friends. It never judged, it always comforted me and made me feel better, its also how I got to be over 300 lbs and morbidly obese.

While I dont regret having the surgery - I have lost my vice and am struggling to find a new one. I can no longer eat, I cant drink (I tried it and I am not a happy drunk anymore) and shopping isnt as much fun because long term it isnt going to fit. I know it sounds like Im complaining and while Id like to think Im not - Im just having a hard time finding something that will help to make me happy. Knowing that the weight is coming off DOES make me happy and is changing my outlook, but losing friends or relationships that I thought I could count on dampens that happiness. Like it was said above, Im still the same me just smaller...

I know and knew that the surgery was only going to fix my stomach and not my brain but clearly I need to do some mental work to catch up with the body changes Im going through. I know that I am a good person - often times I care more than I should but I cant change that. Time to find what makes ME happy and really put myself first, we all need to!

[paperbacknovel 1]

What has helped me a little to transistion my mind is to and ease the grieving process, because yes, our obesity is just a symptom of something bigger.

I made a list of what I could still do, and of things that I enjoyed doing (minus eating/outside of eating)....you're right about the clothes, I've been just going to higher ended GoodWill's, I wish we had a clothing exchange that we could contribute to as we slim down.

Made a list of people I could count on, although just really two, that I could count on at any time of day or nite, that I could reach out to talk with, becuase you're right, food was our number 1 friend and I also did a lot of Happy Hours..... I'm a huge emotional eater and food alcoholic, I would eat until I was stuffed and sick just t o numb what I was feeling. I succomb honestly and willingly, so I made a list of people ( very small list lol) that I trusted would be there that I could pick up the phone and chat with to just listen to ME, to just give me a hug, hold my hand, etc. not necessarily give me advice, yet just to listen to me and I was honest with them about this process and why and how I got this obese.

I also began a diary/blog. Not an online one, yet one where I would make it a point to get my fingers busy and write down what it was that I was feeling, how my day went, how my food intake is going, etc. Potential planning I would have to do for banquets and graduation parties, etc. I find if I keep my hands/fingers busy, my mind wont shift to food. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

I enjoy drinking teas, so I invested in a Tea club, Teavana and they send out a different tea of the month, started doing special things for myself. Instead of reaching out to food, I'm going to start attending to myself for a little while, my five sense.

Made myself a behavior calendar where I "awarded" myself a sticker for each day when I did a little bit of movement. For now, it's just a walk around the block. For every 10 stickers, I promised myself to do something special for myself, like a massage, manicure, movie, etc. I started to take care of me through other avenues than just turning to food.

Started turning down Happy Hours. I can't be tempted with alcohol, not yet anyways, later yes, yet not now. I want to make my nutrient choices count, as what I choose to eat makes me feel better psychologically.

Enrolled myself in Yoga. Ha ha, well it's a start to getting out and moving. Doesn't burn a lot of calories, yet it's going to help ME to teach ME how to relax.

I also started to read books written by Geenen Roth, Women, Food, and God. It has NOthing really to do about God, or Religion, yet she speaks about overeating, or the aspects of emotional eating. She does a lot of conferences in California, and I would like to attend one day to hear her speak.

It is a retraining process. And it's true, we are still the same person, just smaller yet it reminds me very clearly how cruel the real world can be. One of my best friends, ended up telling me, "I used to feel you were one of us (obese), now you are one of them (skinny people, I guess)." Yet I have to remember, that I'm doing this for my health, to keep up with my kids, that it is worth it in the end.

Take care.