Struggling With Doubts

[lizzyshade 56]

Ending day 5 on liquid only diet. Feeling full but kind a week. I added Protein Powder and that has helped but I have 16 days to go. I'm having all kinds of doubts. I'm scared, feeling like a failure because I couldn't beat my weight on my own. Scared because my kids and husband told me they will support me, but wish I wouldn't go through with it. I have felt so determined up to this point, but now my mind is riddled with all kinds of scenarios and doubts about the long term effects of this choice. I have so many reasons for wanting to be thinner and healthier, but I'm nervous my new body will still not be enough. I'll look good in my clothes but not with them off and that is part of the reason I want to do this. I want to feel more comfortable in my skin and with my husband. I want to fit in seat-belts, movie seats, and restaurant booths comfortably. I want to buy clothes at a regular store and feel attractive. I don't want diabetes and HTN. But today the wants have not outweighed my fears. Anyone else feel as confused at this point as I am?

[slimthickens 28]

This is SOOOO normal to feel like this prior to surgery and we all wen't through it. I often felt like I should give it one last try on my own before I took such a drastic step in having the surgery. I realized that for me, losing weight would be possible if I could just stick to a diet long term but then I reasoned that even if I did lose all the weight I would gain it all back just as I had done many times during my life. I realized I needed this tool to control the food issues since I couldn't control them on my own.

[thebionicbroad 127]

Lizzy, part of what you're feeling right now is hormonal. Estrogen gets soaked up by the fat cells in obese women (hence the stereotype with facial hair and a deeper voice). When we have the sleeve, and are burning fat, waves of that estrogen are released into the blood stream. It will subside. I felt like a failure after two C-sections, wondering why I couldn't do it the "natural" way. Well, both of my boys would have died, that's why. Obesity is way too complex to be reduced to "calories in, calories out." You are doing it on your own...you opted for a medical procedure to fix a medical problem, just like a C-section.

[DogMom3 11]

Lizzy...it's perfectly ok for you to feel what you feel right now, you have huge changes coming up and sometimes it's easier not to change anything, but you would regret it in the end. Be selfish and continue on...for you and your health. I know people that had WLS years ago and some of the biggest regrets they had was they wished they had done it sooner....don't wait!

I am only 2 weeks out from my surgery and the hardest part for me was the pre-op diet....since my body was "detoxing" it made me a bit depressed to not be able to eat and I felt I didn't have an "outlet". Push through, have your surgery and it gets easier. The pre-op diet made me second guess having the surgery because I thought "will it always be like this...hungry but can't eat anything"...the answer is no! The pre-op is so hard because we still have our full stretched out stomach without the option to eat...but afterwards you will find it easier because we don't have that stretched out stomach and just a tiny bit of even a Protein Shake makes you feel like you've just eaten a huge meal. It's awesome Lizzy and well worth it! For me, what you are going thru is the hardest part. God Bless!!

[karenb4729 309]

WOW - your post is exactly the words I used on my Dr's Facebook Support Group page the day I got my surgery date. I too felt like a failure because I have to go the surgery route and then you feel like maybe you should give the diet another go. I just know that I can't do it anymore. I think what we are feeling is perfectly normal. People I have seen who have also experienced these feelings are the ones posting 6 months out that they wish they had done it sooner. I have to keep imagining what its going to be like to go back to shopping in a normal store and I want to own a pair of boots that I can zip up! If you keep your goals in mind its easier to deal with the apprehension.

[Pennie 66]

(((HUGS))) Of course your family would rather you lose weight without surgery! I bet you would too. We all would! But, the reality is that once you reach a certain weight it is extremely difficult to take the weight off, and more importantly KEEP it off, without weight loss surgery. Diet and exercise in the morbidly obese has something like a 95% failure rate. You could spend the rest of your life yo-yo dieting (and all the physical and psychological consequences that come along with that) or you can address your obesity with the sleeve. I think you are making a brillant choice! Statistically speaking, it's the only logical choice to make.

Of the weight loss surgeries available, the sleeve is the best. No bypass, no risks of malabsorbtion, no "pouch" drama, no dumping.... The lap-band has it's own laundry list of complications and it's weight loss record isn't as impressive as the sleeve.

You are not a failure. You are a smart woman who is about to overcome a major obstacle.

Your family wishes you could do this without surgery because they are nervous about you having surgery. I'd feel the same way about a loved one having surgery, no matter what kind of surgery it was. But once you get the weight off, and keep it off, they will be so grateful to have a healthy wife and mother.

What I did to help get my husband on board was share a lot of research and statistics. When he realized that I was unlikely to have success without the sleeve, he quickly came on board 100%. (Of course, he was still nervous and pacing the day of surgery!)

[txdee 23]

Hang in there! I haven't even had my first consultation yet, and I know I feel like that too. One day I feel one way, the next day I wake up and think something else. To me, it is almost a good thing, because I think I can always look back and know that I considered all options and gave this major decision lots of thought. I know my loved ones are the same way too - they really would prefer I not do it - because of the risks but probably also because of the overall change. Humans just don't accept change well. Make your decision, stick with it, and be positive...that's what I plan to do! Good luck!

[lizzyshade 56]

I can't thank you all enough for your comments of encouragement! I really needed to some positive feedback. I am more emotional than normal it seems. I will continue on, I know I need to do this. Again, thank you for your support!

[mamamckinzie 92]

Oh the pre surgery jitters! Yikes! I remember those days! Should I go for surgery or one more round of dieting? Of course I already had been on every diet program known to mankind! So what was the point? It really comes down to having jitters about the surgery itself. But relax! This is a very safe procedure and I am sure you have done your homework on your surgeon. My husband did not want me to have surgery either and he IS a surgeon! Okay, he is a Veterinarian but he is still a surgeon! LOL! Plus I am a high risk patient cuz I have a rare liver disease. But it is ALL SO WORTH IT!!!!!! The hardest part is starting the journey, then the first 3 months as you get used to your new eating lifestyle. Your mind will play tricks on you over food size and portions. But it becomes easier and easier as each day goes by! I am 8 months out and have not only reach goal but went under by a few pounds! Now I can go shopping for clothes and not have a fitting room melt down! Plus I get to laugh at all the diet commercials! Hang in there girl...you will be glad you did!

[lizzyshade 56]

Thank you. I have a blood disorder & splenectomy so I am a risk too. Nice to read you are doing so well. It's scary, but feeling stronger today.