Attention ! Australian Sleevers

[*Dean* 1,594]

Hi everyone. I agree with Dean - you're a fantastic bunch and I feel so lucky to have you to talk to. I think you'll understand this next bit where others in my life won't...

For the first time since surgery I caught up with an old friend yesterday. We went out for lunch. She was astounded by my weight loss (she struggles with her weight and is probably as big as I was when I started). It was nice. Because we were in a cafe I got a half melt with chicken, cheese and avo. When they brought it out, it was that thick white bread (I swear it looked like half a loaf but objectively it might have been about an inch or so thick). Anyway, I literally had two bites before I was really full, so I stopped eating. I was busy chatting anyway so didn't really notice. And I certainly didn't pay any attention to what she ordered. Anyway it wasn't long before she started getting quite withdrawn. When the waitress came to clear the table and I said they could take my plate, she went OFF. She said that just because i had surgery and "fucked myself up" that I shouldn't make everyone else feel bad for being "normal". Then she left.

Now you guy's know I am a psych, right? So I did all the usual stuff - I know this is her issue and not mine, I know that it must have been confronting for her and that she can't be in a good headspace. But I also feel that if she called me right now, I wouldn't be receptive to reinstigating the friendship. I have put up with far worse from people in the past but where I am at right now, I just feel like I don't need that kind of negativity.

I think that I am less inclined to take this kind of rubbish now and I feel the sleeve is partly to thank for that. It's not that I think I deserved that behaviour before but more that I made allowances for people that I am just not inclined to do now.

In happier news, I am off to the Goldie for 8 fun-filled days today I have my swimmers packed so I can take my little fellow swimming (we're staying at seaworld for four days and then at the hilton at surfers the other days). I can go on the rides. I might even go swim with the dolphins lol. Things are really good at the moment and I can't believe what a massive difference there has been in my life in such a short time. I can't wait to see my surgeon so she can see what an incredible change she has brought to my life and so that I can thank her again.

I will be off the site while I am away (don't have VST on my phone) so I will look forward to catching up on the forum when I get back!

Cheers, Liss

I know what you're saying Liss. I'm sure it was upsetting for you but I think it's great that you're (we're) now that resilient with our life choices, things like this don't effect us in the same way. Although still disappointing, and sad.

If this friend genuinely reached out to you with an apology acknowledging it was her issue and that she was completely out of line I think any of us, having some insight into where she's at, would find it hard not to accept it. I know how much empathy you have for people with weight issues and I think you'd find that a challenge as well.

But the sad truth is that is pretty unlikely to happen. If it does I'd consider reading her the riot act about some boundaries for the friendship in the future. If you anticipate that something like this could happen again in the future I think it's completely reasonable that you exclude her from your life.

Have a ball at the theme parks. I have to say you don't get sick of that feeling of fitting easily into the rides and not having that bit of anxiety as you line up because you might get rejected!

[Aussiegirl 580]

First of all Aww Dean, you are so sweet

I agree you are all great women, and I am happy to come and visit and hear how well and positive you all are, even when life is giving us a few slaps to the face.

Lissa I agree it is your friends issue. You know what is going on with her. I am sure a bit of the green eyed monster came out.

We do start to treat ourselves better once we start to like what we see on the outside and feel more confidence. It only follows that we also expect others to treat us with the same respect.

Unfortunately we do sometimes loose friends in the process, some of these were the best for us in the first place.

It is really horrible feeling, this I know quite well, but hopefully in the end we are in a happier place for it....man that sounds all zen-y *shakes head*

[Aussiegirl 580]

Oh and I almost forgot!!

Kelli, way to go, glad the stall has broken for you.

[puppyphat 397]

Oh Lissa, that sucks. I know that I've had a lot of trouble sharing my success with my bigger friends, and very few even comment on it. I find that my biggest supporters are the skinny girls that are cheering for my with every new dress size I fit into. It's funny actually, because it was always the skinny girls that said I was beautiful, even when I was big, and the big girls that were always critical. I just never really noticed it before I lost the weight. I think the better you feel about yourself, the nicer you are to others. It's the old bully logic, the insecure ones are mean to you before you can be mean to them.

Have a great time at the theme parks. So jealous.

Brilliant work kel. You should be proud.

[mini.mee 83]

All I can say is friends are hard, it makes me glad in a lot of ways that I only have one. I really hope I wasn't one of those mean fat girls when I was younger ;-/

[one_elle26 118]

Hi everyone,

Wow, so much news, if I miss anyone I apologise in advance.

Well Done everyone on all of your LOSSES!!

Dean, it's an honour to have you in our 'girls group', you are always inspirational.

Lissa, as the others have said, it's your friend's issue, however, that doesn't lessen the hurt of being spoken to like that in a public space. so, sending ((( HUGS))) to you. Enjoy the holiday and the rides.

Novo, did we speak on a FB page yesterday about your Super application and a new GP for you to see? If not, please PM me here and I'm happy to help with your application.

Puppyphat, thanks for your 'definition of a 'bully' "the insecure ones are mean to you before you can be mean to them", this definitely describes the 'bullying' behaviour of my ex surgeon (sic) who cancelled my surgery 19 days before the due date.

So, after a few weeks of incredible stress, I finally have some good news to share. I went back to my 'Band Surgeon' yesterday and told him my tale of woe and he had some very empathetic words to say about how I was treated by my ex surgeon (sic)!!!!!!

Anyway, we discussed my options for surgery, and after careful consideration, I have decided to not have a Bypass and go with a 'Sleeve' instead!!!! This Surgeon has a huge amount of experience and is extremely skilled. And, it just gets better, he will honour the contract I signed when he did my first Band and he will not charge me any 'out of pocket expenses' for my Sleeve. He has also told me that the Anaesthetist and the Assistant Surgeon generally don't charge a 'gap fee' for 'Revision surgery' patients.

My new date is, 29th April and even though it is 6 weeks after my original date, it feels good and I know I am in good hands for this procedure.

So, I hope you all have an equally great day.

Best Wishes

Michele

[puppyphat 397]

That's fantastic news Michele. Now you can just focus on your health and starting the last diet you will ever be on.

Good luck.

[*Dean* 1,594]

Hi everyone,

Wow, so much news, if I miss anyone I apologise in advance.

Well Done everyone on all of your LOSSES!!

Dean, it's an honour to have you in our 'girls group', you are always inspirational.

Lissa, as the others have said, it's your friend's issue, however, that doesn't lessen the hurt of being spoken to like that in a public space. so, sending ((( HUGS))) to you. Enjoy the holiday and the rides.

Novo, did we speak on a FB page yesterday about your Super application and a new GP for you to see? If not, please PM me here and I'm happy to help with your application.

Puppyphat, thanks for your 'definition of a 'bully' "the insecure ones are mean to you before you can be mean to them", this definitely describes the 'bullying' behaviour of my ex surgeon (sic) who cancelled my surgery 19 days before the due date.

So, after a few weeks of incredible stress, I finally have some good news to share. I went back to my 'Band Surgeon' yesterday and told him my tale of woe and he had some very empathetic words to say about how I was treated by my ex surgeon (sic)!!!!!!

Anyway, we discussed my options for surgery, and after careful consideration, I have decided to not have a Bypass and go with a 'Sleeve' instead!!!! This Surgeon has a huge amount of experience and is extremely skilled. And, it just gets better, he will honour the contract I signed when he did my first Band and he will not charge me any 'out of pocket expenses' for my Sleeve. He has also told me that the Anaesthetist and the Assistant Surgeon generally don't charge a 'gap fee' for 'Revision surgery' patients.

My new date is, 29th April and even though it is 6 weeks after my original date, it feels good and I know I am in good hands for this procedure.

So, I hope you all have an equally great day.

Best Wishes

Michele

Wow. That is the definition of 'everything happens for a reason'.

Good work!

[mini.mee 83]

Great news Michele! Just like Dean said, it happens for a reason, and I truly believe in this line of thought :-)

[kelliv 659]

Hi everyone. I agree with Dean - you're a fantastic bunch and I feel so lucky to have you to talk to. I think you'll understand this next bit where others in my life won't...

For the first time since surgery I caught up with an old friend yesterday. We went out for lunch. She was astounded by my weight loss (she struggles with her weight and is probably as big as I was when I started). It was nice. Because we were in a cafe I got a half melt with chicken' date=' cheese and avo. When they brought it out, it was that thick white bread (I swear it looked like half a loaf but objectively it might have been about an inch or so thick). Anyway, I literally had two bites before I was really full, so I stopped eating. I was busy chatting anyway so didn't really notice. And I certainly didn't pay any attention to what she ordered. Anyway it wasn't long before she started getting quite withdrawn. When the waitress came to clear the table and I said they could take my plate, she went OFF. She said that just because i had surgery and "fucked myself up" that I shouldn't make everyone else feel bad for being "normal". Then she left.

Now you guy's know I am a psych, right? So I did all the usual stuff - I know this is her issue and not mine, I know that it must have been confronting for her and that she can't be in a good headspace. But I also feel that if she called me right now, I wouldn't be receptive to reinstigating the friendship. I have put up with far worse from people in the past but where I am at right now, I just feel like I don't need that kind of negativity.

I think that I am less inclined to take this kind of rubbish now and I feel the sleeve is partly to thank for that. It's not that I think I deserved that behaviour before but more that I made allowances for people that I am just not inclined to do now.

In happier news, I am off to the Goldie for 8 fun-filled days today I have my swimmers packed so I can take my little fellow swimming (we're staying at seaworld for four days and then at the hilton at surfers the other days). I can go on the rides. I might even go swim with the dolphins lol. Things are really good at the moment and I can't believe what a massive difference there has been in my life in such a short time. I can't wait to see my surgeon so she can see what an incredible change she has brought to my life and so that I can thank her again.

I will be off the site while I am away (don't have VST on my phone) so I will look forward to catching up on the forum when I get back!

Cheers, Liss[/quote']

Have a great holiday Melissa and don't worry about your friend's reaction. As you say it is her issue not yours. Maybe we could all meet up on the GC while you are there? I am sure some of us from Brisbane would be happy to drive down and meet you.

[kelliv 659]

Hi everyone' date='

Wow, so much news, if I miss anyone I apologise in advance.

Well Done everyone on all of your LOSSES!!

Dean, it's an honour to have you in our 'girls group', you are always inspirational.

Lissa, as the others have said, it's your friend's issue, however, that doesn't lessen the hurt of being spoken to like that in a public space. so, sending ((( HUGS))) to you. Enjoy the holiday and the rides.

Novo, did we speak on a FB page yesterday about your Super application and a new GP for you to see? If not, please PM me here and I'm happy to help with your application.

Puppyphat, thanks for your 'definition of a 'bully' "the insecure ones are mean to you before you can be mean to them", this definitely describes the 'bullying' behaviour of my ex surgeon (sic) who cancelled my surgery 19 days before the due date.

So, after a few weeks of incredible stress, I finally have some good news to share. I went back to my 'Band Surgeon' yesterday and told him my tale of woe and he had some very empathetic words to say about how I was treated by my ex surgeon (sic)!!!!!!

Anyway, we discussed my options for surgery, and after careful consideration, I have decided to not have a Bypass and go with a 'Sleeve' instead!!!! This Surgeon has a huge amount of experience and is extremely skilled. And, it just gets better, he will honour the contract I signed when he did my first Band and he will not charge me any 'out of pocket expenses' for my Sleeve. He has also told me that the Anaesthetist and the Assistant Surgeon generally don't charge a 'gap fee' for 'Revision surgery' patients.

My new date is, 29th April and even though it is 6 weeks after my original date, it feels good and I know I am in good hands for this procedure.

So, I hope you all have an equally great day.

Best Wishes

Michele [/quote']

That's fantastic news . So excited for you and the time will fly between now and then. Where are you being done?

[Novo 10]

Hi everyone' date='

Wow, so much news, if I miss anyone I apologise in advance.

Well Done everyone on all of your LOSSES!!

Dean, it's an honour to have you in our 'girls group', you are always inspirational.

Lissa, as the others have said, it's your friend's issue, however, that doesn't lessen the hurt of being spoken to like that in a public space. so, sending ((( HUGS))) to you. Enjoy the holiday and the rides.

Novo, did we speak on a FB page yesterday about your Super application and a new GP for you to see? If not, please PM me here and I'm happy to help with your application.

Puppyphat, thanks for your 'definition of a 'bully' "the insecure ones are mean to you before you can be mean to them", this definitely describes the 'bullying' behaviour of my ex surgeon (sic) who cancelled my surgery 19 days before the due date.

So, after a few weeks of incredible stress, I finally have some good news to share. I went back to my 'Band Surgeon' yesterday and told him my tale of woe and he had some very empathetic words to say about how I was treated by my ex surgeon (sic)!!!!!!

Anyway, we discussed my options for surgery, and after careful consideration, I have decided to not have a Bypass and go with a 'Sleeve' instead!!!! This Surgeon has a huge amount of experience and is extremely skilled. And, it just gets better, he will honour the contract I signed when he did my first Band and he will not charge me any 'out of pocket expenses' for my Sleeve. He has also told me that the Anaesthetist and the Assistant Surgeon generally don't charge a 'gap fee' for 'Revision surgery' patients.

My new date is, 29th April and even though it is 6 weeks after my original date, it feels good and I know I am in good hands for this procedure.

So, I hope you all have an equally great day.

Best Wishes

Michele [/quote']

hi Michele, yep that's me (Belinda) on the Facebook page :-) I'm not sure if you saw my update this morning, but I rang my surgeons office this morning and the office girls who were less than impressed that my GP wouldn't help went through their computer and looked up previously referred patients from my suburb and would you believe they suggested I try the clinic that you gave me the details for as they have had patients from there.. I don't know if I will get what I need but its worth a try....Thanks again for all your help..oh and I saw you got your surgery date, that's awesome and not too far away...yay for youxx

[one_elle26 118]

Hi again, thanks for all of your lovely comments.

Mini.mee = Jen??????

Novo: I did see your post, I have a good feeling about you getting your forms completed.

My Sleeve is being done by Mr Stephen Blamey at Cabrini Hospital in Melbourne.

Have a great Day everyone.

Michele.

[mini.mee 83]

Hi again' date=' thanks for all of your lovely comments.

Mini.mee = Jen??????

Novo: I did see your post, I have a good feeling about you getting your forms completed.

My Sleeve is being done by Mr Stephen Blamey at Cabrini Hospital in Melbourne.

Have a great Day everyone.

Michele. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> [/quote']

Yes that's me Michele. Am really happy for you, now you concentrate on being in the best health you can for your surgery!

I think it's around the same time as my gallbladder surgery so we can both moan and groan at the same time LOL

[Swift Kate 72]

Hi Everyone, I am celebrating the break of my latest stall AND reaching another milestone. I hit the scales this morning and am now 79.9kg. Finally broke through the 80's!!!!! For the newbies I was 107kg pre op, 102kg on day of op and now 7 months later I am 79.9kg. Doc's goal is 70kg, but I wish to get back into the 60's. Slowly, slowly I am getting there. It seems that the less often I weigh myself the more I lose and when I travel for work am and out of my usual routine, I also seem to lose more quickly. Very happy!!!! Playing golf today in a 'Day For Daniel' charity event. Have to wear something red. Had nothing that would fit me anymore so am borrowing a size 12 pair of white three quarter length pants and a red and white blouse from my trendy Mum. Good problem to have.

Congratulations Kelliv on getting into the 70's and size 12 pants. I've been reading your posts and it's really nice to hear that you have reached another goal. Hope you enjoyed your gold day.