I Want My Stomach Back For A Day!

[Cherrybomb 54]

I am sick of not being able to eat enough to keep a two year old alive! I want to be able to gulp down beverages in record time like I used to. I want to eat a whole anything. I just want a day off from this. If I was losing weight, I may have a better attitude. As it is, I am 4.5 weeks out and haven't lost in 9 days. I don't even understand how it's possible to maintain my weight on 700-800 calories a day max.

I have wasted more food and money since this surgery than I ever have in my life. Even though I know I can't eat much, my brain is forever optimistic and thinks this one time I can because it looks so good. No matter what I buy to eat or drink, it never works out. I take a couple of bites or drinks and it's over. I'm starting to feel mentally incompetent for making the same mistake a hundred times over. Why can't I wrap my brain around the fact that I can't eat like I used to? Do other people have this problem?

Even though I wanted this surgery, and still do really, I am actually getting ANGRY that I can't eat something after I buy it. I want to just throw the food and cuss a blue streak. I chose this, so am confused at my own anger.

[massindex 346]

You are suffering the same reactions that some addicts suffer from. This is a reason we get this surgery. Without a smaller stomach, you would be overeating, feeling guilty about it, getting more depressed and then overeating again because of the pleasure you get from eating to combat the depression. It's an endless spiril we all have been through. Once you have had the surgery, this tool we have been given helps us through this period. Its normal. Your brain is focusing on the withdrawl. All you can do is recognize this and realize that this too shall pass. Stalls are normal and expected. Reward yourself occassionally for what you do, although not with food as you might have done in the past. Go do something for yourself.

[reinventingdee 7]

I can totally relate to wanting to just chug a beverage. I think that is a sign of dehydration. If you continue to sip all day the need to chug feelings lessens. I will not say goes away completely but it does get better. Apple juice makes me less thursty but remember it also does nothing for our body, other than taste good.

[wishes 125]

It takes awhile for you adapt to the new normal. Things will get better. I hated that I couldn't eat a whole cheese stick in the beginning. Seriously? A cheese stick! But it gets better, and you appreciate what the sleeve is doing. It is teaching you how to eat again and learn how to eat better. Because your restriction will loosen. You will be able to eat and drink more, and developing good habits now will help you fight regain later.

[MegInNOLA 531]

I COMPLETELY get you! I had the same feelings, too. I still do on rare occasions. It is maddening to feel like you've spent so much money and invested so much energy and had your stomach REMOVED from your body and now all you want is to feel "normal" and be able to do the things that you used to do. And there isn't a normal any more, and you can't do them.

I think a lot of us go through this at some point--and it doesn't help that you are actually right around the time of the infamous 3-week stall (just do a forum search and you'll see what I'm talking about). Your body is flipping OUT right about now, getting ready to ditch a BUNCH of weight, but all that fat burning is also releasing all kinds of hormones, which, on top of the frustration of having to relearn how to eat, makes for some craziness. It's temporary, I promise. Just hang in there. What got me past the anger was the realization that yeah, if I was feeling so frustrated at not being able to eat a normal portion, I NEEDED my sleeve to control things for me. I NEEDED that permanent fix. It wasn't something I was ever going to be able to control on my own. I was really mad at myself for having to go through with a surgical fix for my weight issue. Once I realized it was a "done deal," though, I realized I had no other choice but to learn how to manage it, move past the feelings of frustration and anger, and get on with making my "new normal." If you really liked the "old normal," you wouldn't have had the surgery, right?

I made a list and contributed to a post or two on this forum regarding reasons I had the sleeve, aka things I was looking forward to. I can truthfully say that I have had all of them--all of them--come true!!! Maybe posting your own list of things you're looking forward to would help you re-focus off the current problems and onto the reasons you did the surgery? Meanwhile, hugs and hang in there. You're at one of the most difficult points in the process--that stupid stall makes people think they went through all the pain and expense for nothing, when it's actually just your body getting used to everything.

[Cherrybomb 54]

I COMPLETELY get you! I had the same feelings, too.

^^^^^ THIS is why I'm glad to have found this forum. I feel much less insane.

A couple of years ago, when my PCP pointed out that I was a food addict, I got mad. Now, I realize it was true. I know that without this surgery, I would still be out of control and I clearly don't have the ability to change that on my own. This is a much harder, more emotional, journey than I had anticipated, but I am still thankful my sleeve is there to intervene on my behalf. I am looking forward to the day when all this becomes normal for me.

Thanks to all who replied.

[ValerieSJackson 35]

I'm day 6 of liquid pre op diet; I feel your pain too; I had some phentermin in my purse and I have been taking it ; it really has helped me ;

Not sure if the doc would approve but I almost had a breakdown on day 4; no energy; no food; no sleep; plus my life = crying spell! Plus I work in a bakery!

[Merydia710 59]

I had a very hard time also. I was so depressed. I freaked out one day and completely lost it. I ate too much and of course it came back up. Huge mistake and lesson learned. But now at almost 3 months it is easier. I do still have moments were I get mad because I can't just dig in like everyone else around me especially at resturaunts. But I have to stop myself and remember it is just food sometimes I have to say this to myself over and over. It does not control me anymore. For instance the other night we met friends out at a fancy pizza place in Indianapolis (we are on vacation) and I could only eat one small square of pizza and I was just sitting there watching everyone else shove food in there mouths. One guy at almost a whole pizza by himself. After a while they are all sitting back full and uncomfortable but still eating and drinking at this point I decide to take a walk with my daughter around down town. (Not something I would have ever done 50lbs ago)who is 3.5 and we had such a good walk we got to see the city and took some cool pics too. So I guess my point is it's just food. It will get better you will feel better and it will not always be so hard. I can eat regular food now just small amounts and I get full.

Good luck look into the food section on here for ideas on small meals at your stage. One thing I loved was a piece of ham or any lunch meat with cream cheese and diced jalepeno rolled up. Or no jalepeno depending on what your tummy can handle. At first I could only eat half and i'd save the rest for later but now one fills me up perfect. You will get into the groove of things it really is a total lifestyle change.

Good luck:)

[rizabonita 41]

I'm 7 wks out and haven't lost a lb in a week and a half...very discouraging..but I hope this passes like ASAP :/

Determined2lose:)

[Cherrybomb 54]

Wishing for an old ability to be back (the gulping entire drinks, etc) is a sign that you're not quite ready to give up your old life - so you have to ask yourself if you're really doing this for yourself, or if it's something else.

Ummmmm, if you read the title of this thread, you will see I only want a day off not a complete reversal of surgery. I did this for MYSELF - nobody else even wanted me to do it. I was as prepared as anyone, even losing 50 lbs pre-op. As you will eventually see, no amount of preparation will spare you the emotions that come with this change.

It may not seem like much of a challenge to sip fluids all day, but believe me, it gets annoying. I'm always on the verge of being dehydrated and would love to be able drink more at a time - Water, not sodas or anything.

The other thing to remember, and I'm not trying to scare anyone, but gorging on food or drinking too much isn't just going to make you sick - until you heal (and even afterward) you can only be setting yourself up for major problems later.

Of course I'm not gorging on food! It's not even physically possible. I can't even eat a whole egg. This was a thread about emotions and feelings, not things I am actually going to do.

Much of my anger comes from not wanting to waste. At home, not being able to eat/drink much is not so much of a problem. Being on the go a lot, I have to buy food and drinks out and portions my size are just not available. I hate having to throw so much away every single day.

[coops 1,790]

I am definately on the same page as you today... I am 22mths post op now and today was the first day in a long time that I wanted to chuck as much food down my throat as possible... I did have a grazing day where I ate more than my three meals a day... and I ate a lot of junk too... just not as much as I would have like to... feeling really blurgh with a nasty head cold, sore throat etc. BUT, I know tomorrow will be a new day and today will not be tomorrow.

Try to hang on in there and think of the wider picture, it is hard work in the beginning and your body is completly and utterly confused about what is going on now... try to focus on fully healing and feeling 'well' if that makes sense. There is also a lot of hormone changes going on that might contribute to your emotions... things will settle for you soon, they did for me. Be kind to yourself, you're only 4 1/2 weeks into the new routine.

The waste of food will soon go as you adjust to the new amount that you can eat.

And if you need to 'cuss a blue streak' then go ahead... anything that makes you feel better!

[rizabonita 41]

As you will eventually see' date=' no amount of preparation will spare you the emotions that come with this change.[/quote']

I so agree w u on this. I had this surgery because I WAS READY for a change but I was never told that I would have such immense emotions. I know we will overcome this but ppl will only understand how we feel when they too experience this.

Determined2lose:)

[GivingItMyAll 168]

Thank you for posting this. As a pre-op, I appreciate knowing what I may or may not experience post op. Having read about the 3week stall, I hope I don't freak out when I get there. Having read your story of the emotional side to this will help me as well. That's not to say that I won't freak out when (or if) I feel the way you do now, but I have bookmarked this thread and a few others to let me know that it's all a part of the process.

[andkel30 57]

I am sick of not being able to eat enough to keep a two year old alive! I want to be able to gulp down beverages in record time like I used to. I want to eat a whole anything. I just want a day off from this. If I was losing weight' date=' I may have a better attitude. As it is, I am 4.5 weeks out and haven't lost in 9 days. I don't even understand how it's possible to maintain my weight on 700-800 calories a day max.

I have wasted more food and money since this surgery than I ever have in my life. Even though I know I can't eat much, my brain is forever optimistic and thinks this one time I can because it looks so good. No matter what I buy to eat or drink, it never works out. I take a couple of bites or drinks and it's over. I'm starting to feel mentally incompetent for making the same mistake a hundred times over. Why can't I wrap my brain around the fact that I can't eat like I used to? Do other people have this problem?

Even though I wanted this surgery, and still do really, I am actually getting ANGRY that I can't eat something after I buy it. I want to just throw the food and cuss a blue streak. I chose this, so am confused at my own anger.[/quote']

I do understand your frustration I've had the same feelings. ..... Now I waste food..... I have bad heartburn to boot......I can eat a few bites then I feel like I've ate an entire meal full and stuffed and I hate that feeling my weight loss was slow but it has since picked back up Ove lost 3 pounds each week for the last two weeks it's a lot of adjusting the best way yto save money is to eat everything from home

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[NewWife 0]

It is so nice to read these posts and know that I am not alone in my struggles (and complaints) I am only 2 weeks out and I just want to gorge. I can't seem to get past being hungry 24/7. My body lies so bad and says it is hungry when I just drank my Protein Drink. I love hearing the support that this group gives. Way to go!! - Linda