Finally Hopeful!

[reignoftara 4]

I picked my Doctor in Mexico, after lots of research I'm going with Dr. GARCIA in Tijuana. My surgery isn't until August but I feel more hopeful about my life and what's yet to come then I have in a very long time. I'm excited to start living. I used to be so active and can't wait to be able to move with ease again. I'm sure I'll get nervous as the day draws nearer. My husband does not agree with my decision to have this surgery which makes it hard because he is not excited at all and it's all I want to talk about. He says it's the easy way out (comming from a skinny man) I love him but he has never had to work a day in his life to be thin so I just chalk it up to ignorance on his part. So now I wait 3 long months.

[tmlockez 6]

I am happy for you. I believed that my husband was supportive and he was, to a point. He went to dr.'s appointments, therapist...etc. But now that I had surgery last week, he seems to be a bit mean spirited. And I told him that, in a not so nice way Anyway, I had resistance from some family members, I didn't care. Anyone that doesn't have to live in my body, has nothing to say. My husband was the only one, I would have entertained, however temporary. You are 3 months out, I'm not saying gain some weight....but, enjoy it. Go to your favorite restaurants, etc. that's what I did & I think I still lost a little prior to surgery.

[Wheetsin 714]

He says it's the easy way out...

There are lots of threads here about that exact comment. I personally really don't get it (neither the sense of the comment, nor the sometimes venomous responses to it). If it is, so what? Is there anything wrong with doing things the easy way? I have a lawn service and a cleaning lady, so I'm pretty screwed if so! Ask him what his point is, and why it matters. Is your weightloss only valid if done through a method that he considers the hard way? I just really, really don't get it. But I'm guessing that's not the real message he wants to convey.

Is he scared? Have you talked about it? Lots of men aren't great emotional beings. Their fears usually come out in other forms like irritation, anger or aggression. Have him really sit down with you and talk to you about what's bugging him.

When I had my lapband in 2006 my husband was terrified something would happen to take me away from him. When I started talking about a sleeve revision, he was like, "As long as it's not bypass. You will not get that butchery done." (He's not controlling, he was just adamant in his position.) He can't stand to see me hurting. And about 2 or 3 weeks before my surgery, his mood shifted. He was withdrawn, not playful, and very short. We're normally very affectionate, playful and teasing -- but he was just being an @ss. And I knew it was his fear/anxiety. It's counterintuitive, but what he was expressing was virtually the opposite of the feelings he was trying to deal with. He was with me every step of the way (except for when my IV debaucle almost made him pass out), and now he is fine (though anytime I say "ow" or "gasp" - he's like what's wrong, do you have a leak? should it take you to the er? i can call your surgeon... get in the car we're going to the er....)

[tmlockez 6]

Fat folks don't always get it either...

[Bypassjourney 88]

I did not tell many people that I was having surgery (mainly my family) because I knew I would not have their true support. I am single so no support from a husband. I lived on this forum board and it was a life saver to me during that three month insurance approval process. No matter what my fear, anxiety, joy or any other emotion was, I could come to this board and rest assured that someone else could relate.

Do your research, start setting your mind to make the lifestyle changes and the time will soon fly by!

[reignoftara 4]

Thank you all for you're replies I feel like I can come here and get the support I need. It's great I was feeling kinda alone with my decision. So thank you all!!!!