Who Did You Tell?

[futureskinnypants 193]

So far a couple close friends know. My mom and boyfriend (they're taking me),My aunt knows.

I'm in home care so my one patients mother knows ...the other two patients spouses think I'm just going on vacation, and my agency that i work for thinks i'm going on vacation.

I've been debating on whether or not I want to come right out and post photo's of me in the hospital and let everyone know.

Not quite sure yet.

[boots321 42]

Hate to say it but....I will soon be 44 years old and I don't plan to tell my parents until its all over with and I'm a skinny minni! I really don't want either of them to worry about me! The surgery is bad enough, but, going to Mexico to have my surgery is 10 times worse! No need to put them through all that until it's over! I told my best friend (she's going with me) and my boyfriend.

I also told 1 person at work and swore them to secrecy!

[ebonisekim 1,713]

I'm not sleeved yet but I tell everyone my consideration and some judge some don't but who care ppl judge cus of fear they are not educated on it ... I had one friend tell me you could die .. I said well I die skinny and laughed .. Dying in kno way is funny but I'm a firm believer that everyone is different and I told her don't be scared for me pray for me .. I also had a friend say many ppl have complications .. I said true but many ppl have success .. And don't believe that hype no one person experience will be the same

[Queen of Crop 1,104]

I think you might want to consider working this into your reply: "If I DON"T have this surgery, I will die of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, stroke, diabetes, or many other problems and complications that stem from obesity"....this is about getting healthy.....lookin' good is just one of the many benefits!

[Gene1970 179]

Totally agree with you... I would rather take my chances with surgery than die younger than I need to because I'm overweight.

[kimmy*custis 276]

I told everyone that would listen...lol! I have no problem telling anyone, they can judge if they want, I dont care! I am doing what is right for me and my health.

[Netgallegos 19]

Omg i told my parents and brother first then i told everyone. And the reason i did that is because i had veen concidering for two years before. And i had lots of questions. So when i decided to do this i wanted them to know because i have struggled for 35 years with my weight. For once i was going to be in control of my self. And if this could help some one in their decision it would be great.

Every one has their oppinions on this good and bad. But no one is in your shoes.

[Doreykn 113]

I told close family & friends before my surgery. Then as the weight came off, I started a transformation album on my Facebook so everyone could see!

[movingtowardnormal 1]

Often times people can be so judge-y. It's unfortunate. So I, like many others here, told my family (except my brother - his wife is tricky) and chose 8 people who I thought would be as supportive as possible...that made an even dozen. My greatest support is my sister and a friend in Atlanta who had a Bilio-Pancreatic Diversion with a DS 10 years ago.

What a great question you ask! I know a woman who told everybody and was met with such resistance instead of support. Discretion is always the best way to go because people have opinions on how to properly pick your nose not just whether or not to get WLS!

Many bolessings and good wishes to you!

XO Gwen

[ebonisekim 1,713]

To Queen crop yes it's about getting healthy as of now I don't have high blood pressure ect ... And maybe I should put that in my reply but I was being funny about it cus my friend was being serious ... But to better health

[Swimmer 199]

I told close family and a few friends. In the end I wish I told fewer people. I just feel like everybody is waiting and watching every pound and for me it's a slow process. I don't need the extra pressure.

[boots321 42]

I told close family and a few friends. In the end I wish I told fewer people. I just feel like everybody is waiting and watching every pound and for me it's a slow process. I don't need the extra pressure.

That's somthing to think about for sure!!!

[Gene1970 179]

good point swimmer. Sometimes the pressure from others can weigh you down.

[BKMama 179]

I am debating this now. Right now, my husband, children, mom, and a handful of close friends know. I have a blog that I shared with my friends to tell them. I plan to open up a bit more with a larger circle of friends and family once I actually have a surgery date.

I struggle with telling coworkers. My boss and one coworker knows but I'm not sure about telling others. One in particular has a big mouth and makes snide comments all the time about people. I already know she'll say something dumb.

I agree that it's a very personal decision. I already feel like an exhibit when I eat with people watching me and I feel like that will get worse if I tell them about the surgery. That one coworker gave me grief the other day for turning down a cupcake as big as my head.

[ShapeShifter 64]

I completely understand the choices made... such a personal thing. I have chosen to tell all of my people, as we connect. One of my core values is honesty and being authentic. When someone asks me what is new in my life, it seems weird to me to withold the fact that I am preparing to change my life in a very big way. If someone asked me how I suddenly was able to drop 50-100 lbs after carrying this weight for 20 years and doing WW, Jenny Craig, FatSmash, etc., I prefer to speak my truth than to say that I am doing the same thing I've always done with a different result. Also, I wanted to hear the horror stories, so that I could make an informed decision. I have not yet heard a sleeve horror story, actually.

When I met with my nutritionist, and asked why I can't lose weight while consuming 1600 calories a day... and she said that with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome), I would never lose weight without surgery. I will offer this to anyone who seems to be unsupportive of my choice (along with a description of how I used to suffocate when I slept, and now sleep with a machine), but frankly... I am surrounded by loving, supportive, remarkable people... and I have been overwhelmed by love, enthusiasm, and complete support from doctors, boss, co-workers, family, friends, and the WLS support group I've already joined... including a list of people who want to care for me after surgery (I am single and childless, and live alone with my 19 year old cat). I can't imagine denying them the opportunity to be my heroes.

If people really care about you, they will want you to be happy, healthy, and whole. If they share horror stories, it is because they care about you, and fear the risks of surgery. If you take the time to help them understand your struggle and inner turmoil... they will come to support your choice. If they don't... they are confused and probably not worthy of you.