4 Years Later - 20 Pounds Up. How To Get The Mojo Again?

[MamaBear 38]

I spent a whole lot of time on discussion boards back in 2008 when I got my sleeve. I was surrounded by lap banders and bypassers. There weren't many VSG folks - but generally everyody had the same journey to discuss and many of us were in the thick of it. I have ot credit those folks for their help. They were critical in my initial success.

I often wondered why I didn't see more people who were 3 - 5 and more years out from their surgeries on thos boards. Now I know why. I too left the boards when they were no longer relevant. I didn't want to read the posts that sounded exactly like my initial ones - I am scared, what do I eat? will my boobs droop? How come I can't poo? - and more of the same. I had lost my weight, retrained myself to eat with a sleeve, and was on an excellent regimen.

By the 18 month mark I was working through the incredible emotional impact my weight loss had. Who knew that such a happy thing might cause a tsunami of hormones and depression. Over it now... moving on. Then in 2011 my life became VERY stressful on all fronts. Where do I go? Comfort food. Granted I can't do quite as much damage in one sitting as I used to, but there is no limit to how much chocolate I can take in during a day. There is apparently also no limit to the amount of shame I can carry.

I still cope with food. I am now struggling big time with that feeling of a loss of control and my weight is creeping up. I didn't do this whole surgery thing just to be fat again. But what the surgery didn't do for me is change three fundamental things:

• I still turn to food for comfort when I am hurting
  
• I have not learned to enjoy any form of excercise - I have such a crazy career/commute/learning disabled child that I would have to make a huge set of changes to make time for something I hate. Doesn't bode well does it?
  
• Self loathing and body image is not fixed with weight loss - I just found new things to hate
  

I am hoping that there are a few later stage sleevers on this page who may be facing this and who have something helpful to suggest. Anybody out there experienced the panic and shame of weight regain?

Thanks - I hope I have picked the right on line community.

[deltadawn817 106]

I am a new sleeve but in my research of surgery's I did come across posts where people where far out date wish and trying to go back to eating healthy. On suggestion that I had read over and over was do the pre op diet again for 2 weeks and then a type of post op diet. Mushes and then soft food again. a week each during this time it will reset your body and your taste buds.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

What are your stats Mambear? A 20 pound regain is not good of course but it's a different story if it's 20 pounds from a 60 pound total loss or 20 lbs from a 180 lb total loss.

Also, there will always always be excellent brilliant excuses for not exercising. Yours are airtight of course, we who battle food addiction are very good at excuse making, just like most addicts.

Have you ever sought therapy? Therapy is the final and possibly most important leg in our tripod of recovery. If you are genuinely ready to change then might I suggest:

1) A 5 day pouch reset, starting today.

2) A walk around the block, this evening.

3) Open a new tab as you are reading this and find a cognitive therapist in your area and make the phone call. now.

Welcome to VST, a good place to learn and share and know that we've been there too!

[robindei 45]

Where I am having my surgery - Abington Hospital in Penna - there is a group meeting for WLS people 24 months and over. They even have a 6-week plan to get back on target for those that have gained back weight. I would check the hospital where you had your surgery at to see if they have any help for you. Best of luck to you!

[MamaBear 38]

I got my surgery at 255 pounds, lowest 170 @ 18 months later.

Goal is around 175 and I am back up to 193. So ya... significant backslide.

You know I have often thought that therapy was probably the only way to overcome the stuff that holds me back, but it feels like if I open that pandora's box, I will cease to function for a period of time. Realistically I wonder how I can keep up with my obligations, my job (high profile and stressful) and function for my kids if I open up the tumour of pain and start digging around in it.

I am interested to hear from folks who have tried this. Did you finally get to a point where you had to deal with the issues under the eating? Did it impact your ability to function? Did seeing a therapist knock you on your butt for a while until you could get up again? I just have this horrible feeling that if I actually take a good hard look at some of the uglies under my rocks that the whole thing will go off the rails.

Thanks Globetrotter - I love straight talk. That is what I came for.

[MinaT 669]

I haven't had the sleeve yet, but I have gone from 330lbs. to 128 and kept it off for five years and regained it due to surgery, depression, sickness which caused me to quit working out, which caused more and more weight gain back to over 300 again. I now am waiting for the sleeve and have been working hard for over six months waiting for the day I get the sleeve.

You gained 20 lbs. not 30, 40 or 50 or more. Just a mere 20. Try adding some Protein shakes in your day, one or two, then high Protein dinner, low carb (don't drink for 30 minutes after eating). Go back to the beginning. Park your car a little further at the grocery store, take the stairs at work, instead of sitting and watching TV, stand and walk in place. We all know what it is like to gain 10-20 lbs back after dieting. If we can stop it then, we won't have to look back when it's 50 or 60 or 100 and it seems nearly impossible again.

I wish you the best of luck and it's great to hear from someone that has been through it and what life is like down the road.

[MegInNOLA 531]

MamaBear, I sort of did it the other way around. I have a history of childhood sexual abuse and wore my fat suit as a protective shield against all sorts of scary things--intimacy being the primary one. When I married my husband (I was 40 at the time), I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be able to have a successful marriage--I couldn't trust and couldn't fully relax and be myself in the relationship. It was a total leap of blind faith--I realized he was a wonderful man and I WANTED to be married to him. I realized I truly wanted a real and lasting relationship, and that wasn't going to happen as long as I held part of myself back (for whatever reason!). I sought out a therapist and did some work and immediately felt more in control, more able to be open, less fearful, more trusting. At that point is where I realized that not only did I not NEED my fat suit, I didn't WANT it, and I honestly couldn't wait to get rid of it.

There were some difficult times during the therapy process, but they certainly didn't make me stop functioning--I have a high-profile, full-time, busy job (several of 'em, in fact), and I couldn't ever stop what I was doing. I have to tell you, rather than make me less able to cope, it seemed I was better able to cope and more confident that I could handle things. Getting rid of the feelings of fear, guilt, shame, hopelessness, and ANGER was a big deal--and I needed that trained counselor to guide me through that process.

I wish you the best--I agree that some things, the physical aspects of weight loss, are pretty basic--eat right, get a minimum of exercise, and let your sleeve help you. But it's those triggers behind the self-defeating behaviors that DO have to be addressed for long-term success, I think. If they don't sabotage weight loss, they may pop up in other ways--other addictions, other self-harming behaviors--until they are understood and you have some coping mechanisms to deal with them. Believe me, I completely understand your reluctance to even think about stuff like that--it is emotionally draining at times, but also--and unexpectedly--energizing and freeing. It feels GOOD to be rid of it! I never realized how heavy and dark and tiring it was to carry all that (like my fat suit!!! but in a psychic/emotional way) unresolved stuff around. I didn't want to become "the drama queen," as in, "Oh, poor me, and look at all my issues," but it wasn't like that at all. It was extremely helpful, life-changing, in fact, and I feel 100% better now. I feel like myself, but a better version of myself all around.

HUGS to you. You can do it. It's hard, but you can do it. You've done much harder things already, and you already know how it feels to experience success with difficult issues. PM me if you need an understanding listening ear.

[swizzly 901]

Hey MamaBear -- you can do this!! I just read this book, worth a read in your situation I think:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007KPBHAA/ref=kinw_myk_ro_title

Give it a go. And keep posting, we are all here to help you!!! I'm 14 months out and haven't hit goal yet, mostly cos I've been eating total crap for like two months now...so I hear you...

[MamaBear 38]

AS I wade tentatively back into the Bariatric support community, I just want to say that these answers have been really helpful. I feel like I got a hug today.

Thank you...

[belle0972 1]

I am 8 mos out of surgery and concerned about weight gain in years to come . I think about it often. I'm just 10- 15 lbs shy of my personal goal weight. Even now being so early out of surgery I'm finding that I have to excersise 3-4 times a week to keep it off as I have plateaued. I've recently just realized the easy part was losing it. The hard part will be keeping it off. Any suggestions that u may have I will graciously take. I'm very interested in hearing from the oldies like yourself. I want to know what to expect so I can be prepared as I can be in keeping this weight off.