Mandatory support group

tommygirl · August 16, 2006

Hi,I just got back from the required pre-surgery support group (some people were post-op, too) and it seems to me the people who are getting or who have already gotten gbp surgery treat us lap-band hopefuls like second class citizens (they also outnumbered us 28 to 3). Has anyone else noticed this? They wanted to skip past any discussion of lap band and seemed to act like it was a joke. It seems to me the two surgeries and the questions regarding each one are so different that each group should have their own meeting. I went there KNOWING the lap band was for me, and I left there wondering if I was making the right choice, even the Doctor running the group showed obvious favor to the gbp. Any thoughts?

AnotherMe · August 16, 2006

Was it a seminar or support group? Seminars, the docs put on their "show" and are supposed to give you a description of both surgeries. Support group (in my mind), is for those connecting after surgery to discuss issues important to them.

I attend a support group meeting every month that's available for any WLS patient.. there are usually 1-2 people there who attend that are interested in bariatric surgery and they come with a friend who's had it. It's not mandatory though. They're a great group, both bypass and banded... as expected, they bypass patients have lost way more than I. But, I'm happy with my decision and feel it was the right one for me.

I would schedule an appointment to see the Dr in his office. Ask him what he considers the pros and cons for both procedures. I'm not sure how much you're expecting to lose, but ask specific questions: for the --# of lbs I need to lose, which surgery do you think would benefit me most & why?

Keep researching, and armed with a bunch of knowledge - you'll be able to make a decision you can live with. Adjustable, reversible, etc is what sold me on the band. That, and not having my inards re-routed. Once I had my heart set on the Lapband, you could not have changed my mind. If you feel as though you're being pressured to chose bypass... RUN to another experienced doc, maybe this one is not to comfortable doing the band. And, if that's the case you don't want him "practicing" on you.

All the best,

Karla

Time to love me · August 16, 2006

I think that it is CRAZY that they would even have those two groups meet at the same time. I go to Lahey in Burlington, MA and they do two seperate support groups because they are very much different from one another. This is one of the reasons why I stayed away from the Boston Hospitals. Some, not all, of the hospital meetings were hard pressing for GBP. For anyone who went to Boston Hosp. please don't take offense to this. This is in no way, shape or form saying anything about the Dr's. I think the doctors are amazing. It just upsets me that lapband and GBP are treated the same, when they are completely diff. I actually think we need to be educated more about the lapband, due to the careful guides we need to know for eating and preventing pb'ing, sliming.. and so on.

Go with what you want. DO NOT let ANYONE pull you away from what you want. There are many pros and cons to both. I have been banded for just a little over 3 weeks and i am happy i got the band. Yes, the weight comes off slower BUT there are less issues with the band, IMO. Also, from what i hear there is less chance of having severe excess skin.

I also would like to know if this was a info. session or the support group? In the info. session, they would talk about both surgeries. But, I wonder why they wouldn't spend equal time on each procedure. Also, find out if this Dr. is one of those docs who do mostly RNY's vs Bands. Sometimes you get those docs that try to talk you out of the band. Keep an open mind and see where the doc stands and also, see if there is another doc available in the practice that you can meet with, that isn't so much pro RNY.

I'm not sure what hosp. you are going with but there is a very nice lady named Diva that was banded in Boston, you might want to chat with her. Maybe you both go to the same Dr. or Hosp.

Anyway.. best of luck to you! Please keep us informed on how things work for you. If you need someone to chat w/ PM me. Last time we chatted it was fun.

diva · August 16, 2006

Hee hee hee-She called me "a nice lady". Thanks Time to Love Me! Nice to see you-sounds like you are doing great.

Yep I was "band in boston". There a quite a few of us here. Tommygirl-are you going to a Boston hospital? You can write me.

If not Boston well, here's my take on the support groups & wls surgeons- Boston or otherwise. I found that the surgeons and psychologists kind of push the gastric bypass because those patients lose weight so much faster and I think they are trying to cover their own butts. In other words they are trying to give us the clear picture so we won't be dissapointed or worse. But once you stand your ground and let them know you've dont your homework they are very supportive.

That said. I had to complete a closed (no more than 15 people committed to attending this same session week after week nobody else could attend) 6 week behavior mod group which had both band and bypass patients in it. This had a psycholigist facilitator so...unlike an open forum she controlled the set up. She point blank laid down the ground rules: no cell phones, show up on time and no surgery is better and everybody accepts everybody else's surgery choice. It worked but there must have been some issues in the past if that has to be one of the rules.

It is different in the open support forums that anyone can attend-its just human nature. Bypass patients get defensive about their choice, like they made an stupid choice when they could have had a safer band. And the band patients are defensive because they see the bypass patients zoom pass them in losing weight while being a little condescending about the more dangerous bypass surgery.

My hospital has now solved this by seperating the two open support forums. But there are still some forums that will always be mixed like exercise or an introduction.

It can be unfortunate because there some people who haven't made up their minds yet or some people who get disgusted and don't make a choice at all.

There is no easy answer. Just the nature of people defending a scary decision and complete life change.

You may want to formally discuss your feelings with one of the docs (esp a psych if there is one). If you're not satisfied then see if there is another group in your area to choose from. It might have been just the group that happened to there since its not always the same people like it is with a closed group.

Its a hard choice but once you make it you deserve all the support you can get.