Help! Having Second Thoughts.

[luvrkb 34]

I need some help... My surgery is scheduled for May 15th. I decided that I better tell those close to me as they will find out when I am loosing lots of weight and eating only Protein etc... But now I am second guessing if this is the right choice. I am BMI 37 since having my twins 10 months ago. Before that I was bt 31-33 bmi. My husband thinks it is so risky to get this done and I am jeopardizing my long term health. He thinks in 15 years the sleeve will no longer be the next best thing just like lapband turned out to be. Maybe he is right. Maybe I can loose the weight on my own. I don't know. Is the surgery just a cop out for me? Please tell me if these are normal feelings. I go back and forth. Maybe I can do it on my own/ maybe I can't.

[mkardh 52]

OMG I totally get where you are coming from. Ive been asking myself the same questions! My surgery is May 21 in Mexico. In the end I am 99% sure this is a good choice for me. I am almost 6 feet tall and have a bmi of 40. Ive lost weight before only to gain it back and the some. It is scary but so is being obese with health issues and having to deal with kids.

I told my daughter that if anything is going to take me off this earth it will be from something I couldnt control, like getting hit by a bus. Not from something I could have done something about, with that said I quit smoking in February and am now focused on a healthy me.... yea surgery seems like a drastic step but research as much as you can and this forum is great for support and information. Only you can make the decision.

[Chrissy Williams 3]

I dont tthink you will regret it. you can always wait around for the next best thing to come along or you can decide to make yourself happy now. you can wait 15 yrs unhappy on a weight roller coaster going up and down or you can be happy 6 months from now and not worry about 15 yrs from now, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. seize the day. my husband is the same way and i just tell him he cant understand bc he is not me. not everyone's body and mind is capable of processing food the same way. i had to make my body make me eat better. almost 3 weeks out, no problems, no regets, 22 lbs gone since preop liquid diet.. much happier me, much happier husband bc i am happier. hope it helped a little :0)

[jewels1227 20]

Wow, I understand exactly where you are coming from. Pray for guidence, No one here can tell you if there will be something better or not. We have to live for today and not worry about tommorrow. Check out your motives: Why are you getting this? Are you getting this to live a more healthier life or do you think that you can lose the weight and keep it off? Regardless of the reason, I hope you make the right decision that YOU can live with. No one is in your body or have to carry the weight around. I personally have second thoughts, I meet the surgeon on 5/17/12 and then I look at myself and realize that I can continue to go on like this. Being obese is like being a ticking time bomb.I dont think that I have a choice in the matter, I have tried and tried and nothing seems to work. I am happy with the fact that I am making a decision to save my life. Good Luck in you decision making process!

[Lissa 2,631]

Everyone goes through this same thought process. Our heads play games with us. First we're super excited because we're getting it done, then we're scared to death that something bad will happen. Then, we think "I'll feel/look so much better once I lose some weight", immediately followed by "But, I can do this on my own".

The truth is that we can't do it on our own, or we would have done it (and kept if off) years ago. If you are 100 pounds overweight, Dr. Oz says that it's just like having cancer. You'd operate for cancer, wouldn't you?

8 months out, I still think that VSG is the best gift I've ever given myself. I'm worth it and I'm thrilled that I shut that little nagging voice up into a corner and had surgery despite it's best efforts to stop me.

Good luck with your decision.

[luvrkb 34]

I gave tried and tried too... Just to feel more depressed that I am powerless to food. I have lost weight before, and I have on the high side of a normal weight. I have all my life wanted desperately to be thin. Now it is more. I am happily married and have 3 kids. I am scared to do anything to jeopardize my life, but right now am tired all the time. I am not able to keep up with my kids. I am that fat mom that plays board games with the kids. I want to play softball or soccer! It is humbling to need this surgery and I am having a hard time relinquishing control that I can not do it alone!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

This is the same struggle that everyone has had in his/her own way. I had this struggle and my daughter was opposed. But she came around and right up to the minute of the surgery, my negative thoughts (fear), were against me. I am so happy I didn't run away from the surgery. This is so life changing. You could wait 15 years to see what other kind of procedures come up, but those procedures will be tools and you will have wasted 15 years of your life with your children and hubby. I have heard from numerous people on this site that they wish they could of had this 10 years ago. That is also standing for me. This is a good time to reevaluate everything and the past times that you have lost weight and the times that you gained the weight back. That is our past. Now I want to move forward and enjoy life.

[Mews 37]

Think about it this way: do you have any comorbidities? That can play a role in your decision. If you do have them then you might be looking at it as how this surgery can get rid of them. In my case, I had a terribly high BMI (51) with only one comorbidity (sleep apnea). For me, I knew at my weight if I didn't get the surgery I would be looking at some serious issues as heart disease, diabetes, etc., which are a hell of a lot worse than what this surgery can do to me.

Also, they have been doing VSG for quite a long time as part of another surgery and for cancer and ulcer patients, so it's not really that new. From what I have gathered in my months of research is that this is a relatively safe surgery that doesn't have any long-term problems. However, do your own research and come to your own conclusions.

[lulublu 7]

I felt the same way, and I went to Mexico which was even more scary for me. My husband wasn't supportive at first and kept telling me that I have 3 kids... what would happen if there were complications? He kept telling me that I just needed to exercise more and go on a diet. I had tried that for years and the best I could get down to was in the range of overweight instead of obese. I just didn't want to spend the rest of my life being unhappy with my weight. I decided to go for the surgery and told him that I loved him, but he wasn't going to stop me. He ended up going with me for the surgery and has been very supportive ever since. I know, now, that he was just scared and didn't know how to handle his emotions. I was scared, too, but I knew that I had to do it. As many others have said on this site, having the sleeve has been the BEST thing I have ever done for myself!! It will be great for you, too. In fact, I find myself wanting every over weight person I know to go down to Mexico and have this procedure. I feel great, I want to play with my kids because I have so much more energy, my sex life is much more fulfilling, I'm much happier and my kids and husband are happier, too. It's been great for all of us. I had some comorbidities, and they are much better controlled as well. This is something that will change your life for the better... don't let guilt or worry get in the way.

[lyn 5]

I agree with everyone else that has posted that has already had the surgery. i remember being on the two week liquid diet and losing weight and that starting me thinking oh this is great I can do this by myself and maybe I will not do the surgery. But luckily I came to the realization that of course I was consuming nothing but liquids and I had lost weight in the past only to pile it back on again. I had developed sleep apnea from being over weight, and it seemed everytime I went to the Dr it didn't matter what I was there for weight was getting to be an issue. My blood pressure which was always on the low side was starting to creep up to about 150 over 110. I decided to go through with the surgery and I could not be happier about the health issues that have been averted and deleted from my life but also about the way I look and feel, if i can be so vain, I love love love trying on clothes, shoes, everything. I eat whatever I want just not alot which is great for me. Only you can decide of course but don't wait til your 50 like I was if you have a chance to get a handle on things do it now so you can start living!!

lyn

[Ssilian 67]

Dear luvrkb,

I was doing the exact same thing as you. I was vasilating back and forth but now I'm going forth on June 14. I have fought this "disease" my whole life and now I am 55. My back and knees hurt all the time. I can't climb a flight of steps without my heart pounding in my chest. I have no co-morbidities except a BMI of 39 and the aches and pains mentioned. Someone either on this forum or another forum compared dieting success and loss like this: can you hold your breath for a minute? Yes. Can you hold it for a lifetime? No. Some people can lose weight and keep it off for a lifetime. I am not one of those people.

You can only do what your heart tells you. I have been a member of this forum for 8 months. I've learned so much from the kind people here. I know now in my heart, this is right for me. I'm not going to worry about the surgery. I haven't heard of any problems from the folks here. My friend who is a nurse anesthesis (SP?), and who is going to knock me out for my surgery, said I have a much bigger chance of getting in a car accident than anything happening in surgery. ***I have nothing but kind thoughts coming at you from this post!*** Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

[Jenpooh21 0]

I have been battling this for years! I finally had my surgery on 4/3! Surgery is by no means as a cop out ! 4 weeks out n this is has not been easy! This surgery is a tool that has been given to u to use to help lose weight! This has been the best tool I have ever given myself! Day by day I see results of losing weight n feeling soooo much better about myself! I am now under 300lbs lost 32lbs n feel great! I do not regret doing this!