It's Sad...

[AV8ORnTX 14]

The topic title above isn't referring to my surgery experience. I've been one of the very fortunate ones that was sleeved with zero complications and actually reached my goal in just under 4 months. The surgery has literally changed my life and was unquestionably the best decision I've ever made for myself.

What I can't believe is the reaction I now get from so many people that know me well. Most say that I look "way too thin" or even ask if I'm "sick" (yes, one person has even asked if I have cancer!). I realized recently that all of these people have only ever seen me the way I've been most of my adult life...obese.

Which gets back to my original statement...It's sad. I believe it's sad that our culture has mentally adapted so much to the epidemic of obesity that someone can now be viewed as "too thin" or even "sick" when they're actually just within their "normal" weight range for their height and build. JMO

[BeautyVGSJourney 99]

Congratulations on your success!!! Way to go! yes it is sad, but hey you did it no matter what anyone says or thinks!

[eylish 23]

Before I got this surgery I did tell my friends and family that I would look "weird" to them. They are so used to me being big so I had to get them ready, I am not there yet but hopefully I will look "weird" soon. lol

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

The surgery has literally changed my life and was unquestionably the best decision I've ever made for myself.

the reaction I now get from so many people that know me well. Most say that I look "way too thin" or even ask if I'm "sick" (yes, one person has even asked if I have cancer!)

hi Av80RNtx,

i'm sorry you've had some negative feedback from some "alledged" friends.

are these people by any chance overweight? when they all of a sudden see an aquaintance/friend that has lost weight, possiblly they just feel jealous - saying silly nasty things.

Ignore them - you know the weight you needed to lose for yourself - you did it, please be proud. others that don't support you, oh well?

congrats

kathy

[MegInNOLA 531]

I had a friend ask me when I was going to "stop losing weight." I had to laugh--I'm at goal, but I definitely still have flab that I need to lose. I realized she has only known me as a fat girl--so I asked her what size she thought I was. She guessed a 6-8 and I REALLY laughed, because I'm a solid 12/14 (14 most of the time!). It's just a perception thing. It's also maybe that your friends are concerned if they don't know about your surgery--I know if I saw someone who dropped as much weight as you did and I didn't know that you'd had surgery, I might ask about it, too--but I personally would try to be a bit more delicate!!!

I hope you have supportive folks around who appreciate all the hard work you've done in achieving such terrific success with your sleeve. Meantime, enjoy your life! HUGS

[Rootman 1,101]

Congrats on the remarkable success!

I too have had my share of comments. Some odd, some funny and some just rude and nosy.

It's funny to watch old TV shows - and some not THAT old - and see "comically fat" people who by todays standards are not really fat at all. We're so accustomed to seeing people of size it is the new "norm".

For me personally, there are a few guys I used to admire for their "thin" size who are now fatter than I am. It's all a matter of perspective. Just don't lose yours!

[gmanbat 5,889]

The way I look at it is that my appearance is not a big problem for me because I don't stare into a mirror 24/7. I feel better, my clothing does not annoy me as much, and I am healthier. If folks think I am too skinny that is their problem, not mine. I don't have to look at me, they do.

My problem starts when I care what they think. When they start talking like nincompoops my care level recedes quite rapidly. I have enough folks around me that love me no matter what I look like. I have no dire need of the superficial that express their vacant opinions at my expense.

[AV8ORnTX 14]

Just a quick clarification, the comments made to me by my friends (and family) aren't really an issue for me. I think Rootman said it best..."We're so accustomed to seeing people of size it is the new 'norm'".

That cultural change in our perceptions is what I believe is sad. And unfortunately I believe that change in our perceptions will continue to contribute to the obesity epidemic from simply the higher level of acceptance of obesity being the norm.

[billemtp2003 3]

It is sad that people feel that way and expressed it in a negative way The goal is is to be healthy keep up the good work.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Yes, everyone's perception is different. Since my surgery, I now look at how sad it is that so many people are so big. The pain that so many youngsters carry around with themselves is horrible. Whole families are totally over weight and knowing the pain a lot of people are in makes me sad. How did our society get this way? How can we stop it? I'm planning on opening a center to help people with their weight issues and other issues underlying the weight problem.

[coops 1,790]

I also find this a sad situation, yes as a western culture we are getting used to the 'larger' body... yet we are bombarded with skinny images of models etc. It gives out a very confused message to the general population!

As regards what others think... I agree with the above, it really doesn't matter (that much...lol)!

When others are used to seeing you/us a certain way, they get a little freaked out by change, now that doesn't allow them to be rude or imply ill health! It just scares them... and you've lost a lot of weight FAST - good n you by the way!

I've been told that I shouldn't lose any more weight - even though I am still classified as obese... I've been told that any more weight loss and I will look to old/too thin/ ill etc... but I don't listen and care about that... I DO care about my overall health and fitness though! So I will continue to fight the good fight and do what I can with this amazing tool.

I think you should just hold your head high, take it as a back handed compliment and try to let it wash over you.

Congratulate yourself on your amazing success and good health and enjoy the new 'slim' you!!

Well done on getting to goal... and good luck with maintance, not that you'll need it! =]

[carbgrl 119]

That's awesome Dorrie. There's definitely a need for it.

[4ALongerLife 329]

I'm sorry but... I'm gonna say it or write it.. I wish I had lost enough weight for someone to ask me if I had cancer. I've been big all of my life, I hope that I can be successful in this journey. I am worried I won't ever get there, I've had many complications and I pray that I'm done and can get to 'normal' but just way less of me.

I would say ignore them and remember that you are healthier than you were before and that's number 1. It would be annoying, I am sure.... but you did it in such a short period of time. Be patient and make sure that some of the rude ones aren't giving you the perspective to do so to everyone that asks. That's such a short period of time that it's just a shock. Congratulations in your success!

Dorrie, I used to want to do that. Kudos for you - I hope you do it!

[BeautyVGSJourney 99]

I am also thinking of working with a bariatric surgeon or something similar when I graduate. The need is just out of proportion. 4Abetterlife.... You will make it! You have come so far already, if anyone. Will make it is you! Remember I am always here for you, anytime you got my number.

[BeautyVGSJourney 99]

Lol I could not remember your nick I hope is both a better and longer life!