When to reveal?

[mariecarmen 1]

I have a group of close, long-time friends. We get together at least once a month for dinner out or a gathering at someone's house. The last time we were together someone mentioned the mayor's wife had lost 80 lbs after gastric bypass surgery. Then someone who worked with her made a comment about how she hadn't said anything about the surgery. She let everyone think she did it just by dieting.

I was quiet, with thoughts of when to tell my friends about my own surgery. When I get the surgery date? When I start to shed the weight and it becomes noticable?

I mentioned my progress so far on the road to having all the pre-surgical procedures completed to one friend on a car ride to a quilt show last week. She was supportive and interested and asked good questions.

I have no problem being candid with my friends and family, just wondering when everyone else told others about their decision and how they felt about it.

[thenry 2]

I told my extended family about it right from the beginning because I knew they'd support me. I needed that support and their prayers. The day before my surgery I decided to tell my church family also, again for the support and prayers. I love them all dearly but looking back, I would decide not to tell my church family about it. They have been very supportive but I'm constantly being asked "so how much can you eat now?" and I feel like everybody is watching me eat to see how much I can or can not eat. I have decided not to tell my co-workers at all about it. If asked about the weight lose, I'll just respond that I'm eating more healthy and exercising more. Which is what I'm doing and they don't have to know about my personal decision about the surgery (which from previous conversations, they all feel that surgical weight lose is nuts).

[*susan* 1,709]

With me, my band is a very personal issue. I have told my children, hubby, parents and my best friend only. I also don't want to feel like everyone is looking at me and monitoring every bite of food I put in my mouth.

If that lady lost a lot of weight and at first chose not to tell people she had WLS, that is her business. I don't think it is as important how we lose the weight, as it is that we are losing weight and becoming healthier. We are not required to tell people we are losing our weight because we have a band or some other WLS. JMO.

[paula 4]

It depended..

MY family was extemely supportive and I also told one of my very good friends.

I didnt tell anyone else - scared that too many opinions, negative comments, shocked expressions, etc.. may have altered my decision to have the surgery.

My thoughts about this...

once you tell - you can't un-tell.