Support Groups And This Website

[june13sleever 223]

Ok! We all have different experiences, but I swear I needed like 4 weeks off of work after the surgery. I felt like crap! I was winded and just plain miserable. That was my experience! I was hoping to have one of the experiences like so many who said they felt like a million bucks after surgery, but that wasn't me. I finally feel better at 11 months, but it took so long...for me. In my support group, the only one I will ever attend again, I told my story and people ganged up on me like my experience was invalid and that I am not normal. I was super positive about the surgery, you would never hear me say I regretted it, but just in case someone had a rough recovery I just wanted them to know what I felt. I didn't have any gas whatsoever, but I didn't downplay people that did have gas. It was just a really weird experience. I see it on this bored sometimes too. I just want everyone to know that more than likely whatever your story is there is someone who has gone through something similar and it is ok for things not to be this great recovery with no problems. It is important that we all share our experiences and if I ever sounded like I was downplaying yours that wasn't my intent.

[Dooter 1,457]

You know...there are as many different experiences as there are people on this board. There are some threads of consistency, but boy, everyone's body is different and reacts differently, and some start out with conditions maybe they didn't know about that will effect their recovery. I can't believe a group would just freak out on you like that. Weird weird. There are so many shades of recovery here... random thoughts....

[Cmullinvegas 39]

Thank you for sharing. I felt decent after wards, just tired, but this evening is something else. My emotions are ridiculous. Maybe I had a decent recovery but my mental state is the struggle.

I'm sorry your group was mean.

[Mews 37]

I've had a very rough recovery as well. Besides a blood clot, which was bad enough as it is, I've had serious energy issues that neither my doc nor NUT can figure out. To hear that your support group jumped on you makes me wary to go to one myself. It's bad enough to be the odd man out in terms of recovery but to go through what you had to is just BS.

[tmorgan813 13]

You are so right. I was lucky and have recovered very quickly. However, I noticed on this board that many people reflect a lot of their own issues on to other people. I've had people tell me I was wrong with my opinion, that I was healing too fast, that I was almost a bad sleever for being able to get my liquids and Protein in so fast. I even had once person tell me I needed counseling....I'm still not sure why she felt that way. But, the one thing that makes me ignore all this is knowing that everyone is different and that my experience and your experience are never going to the be the exact same. I can't believe your support group "attack" you for saying you were not feeling better. It doesn't sound like a positive support system. I hope you can find one that doesn't make you feel bad for sharing your experiences. I hope it helps others understand that everyone is different and to treat everyone with kindness and understanding. Great job on your weight loss, keep up the amazing work.

[Carly 56]

You are so right. I was lucky and have recovered very quickly. However' date=' I noticed on this board that many people reflect a lot of their own issues on to other people. I've had people tell me I was wrong with my opinion, that I was healing too fast, that I was almost a bad sleever for being able to get my liquids and Protein in so fast. I even had once person tell me I needed counseling....I'm still not sure why she felt that way. But, the one thing that makes me ignore all this is knowing that everyone is different and that my experience and your experience are never going to the be the exact same. I can't believe your support group "attack" you for saying you were not feeling better. It doesn't sound like a positive support system. I hope you can find one that doesn't make you feel bad for sharing your experiences. I hope it helps others understand that everyone is different and to treat everyone with kindness and understanding. Great job on your weight loss, keep up the amazing work.[/quote']

Very nicely said

[june13sleever 223]

It wasn't like an attack. It was like the guy who was going to have surgery on Monday was like how long did it take you to recover? So I said forever! People would then say...yeah I didn't take anytime to recover as if I was the oddball out. Looking at my like I was strange. Like me taking a long time to recover and feeling like crap for 6 months was just unheard of and I was unusual. Look you need to know what is going to happen so you are not freaking out or thinking you have an abnormal problem. I didn't stress most of the time because someone on this board always had something I could relate to...like the lump in my throat that was there for a month, and I thought I was going to kill myself because it was hell to go through. There was one girl who that lump too. THAT WAS REALLY THE WORST FOR ME. I won't go back to that meeting every again.

[suzcomptime 17]

It wasn't like an attack. It was like the guy who was going to have surgery on Monday was like how long did it take you to recover? So I said forever! People would then say...yeah I didn't take anytime to recover as if I was the oddball out. Looking at my like I was strange. Like me taking a long time to recover and feeling like crap for 6 months was just unheard of and I was unusual. Look you need to know what is going to happen so you are not freaking out or thinking you have an abnormal problem. I didn't stress most of the time because someone on this board always had something I could relate to...like the lump in my throat that was there for a month, and I thought I was going to kill myself because it was hell to go through. There was one girl who that lump too. THAT WAS REALLY THE WORST FOR ME. I won't go back to that meeting every again.

Even though they should have been more thoughtful about the way they said it. Part of the issue is group dynamics....you said it was your only meeting so likely the others perhaps knew each other from other meetings together and perhaps they wanted to be positive for the sake of the person going into surgery. I am certainly not saying they were right to make you feel bad or that you were wrong to be honest about your experience.......but I do think the psychology of group dynamics could have played a part.

The other thing is so what if everyone else had a different experience....we are all different and the group leader should have sensed that you being in the minority that night might have made you feel bad and that person should have countered to make you feel comfortable just like the others were trying to make the person next to get a sleeve feel comfortable. The leader should make sure the meeting works for everyone. I wouldn't write off meetings yet, you may find after a meeting or two, you won't feel like such an outsider and even though it isn't always good news, I want to hear the real stories.

It doesn't mean you are an oddball, but you may not be the majority if there is such a thing. That's OK, they may have struggled with other things and had other issues that may come out later if they are honest.

[tmorgan813 13]

I agree with the group dynamics thing. I facilatated many different groups and it's amazing how group dynamics can impact what people say and do. And, most of the time the group doesn't like having any new members come in even if they say they don't mind. It still sucks though.