How To Stay Positive?

[StormWarning 194]

Hi crew. I hope I am posting in the right place. I have been lurking the boards and just joined tonight. I have researched WLS off and on for a few years after my friend decided to have a procedure, I wasn't commpletely against surgery, but I was doing the same trip some others that I have read. I would tell myself that surgery was taking the easy way out, that I could make this happen on my own, or if it was meant to be it will happen. etc and so on.

Well two years have passed, I have become treadmill fit, but no weight lost. So a few months ago I started researching once more. My way of thinking was changing. I no longer thought surgery was an easy way out, I was looking at it as a tool/procedure that would help me for the rest of my life.

The battle I am fighting now, is how does one stay positive during this process? How can you keep looking forward when those you feel should be supporting you the most are the ones kicking you down? My husband of 17 years is the most supportive. When it came time to let my mom in on my intentions, it did not go so well, especially when Mexico came up. I got the " Does Skinny mean that much to you"? I was furious and all I could respond with was that it was never about being skinny. It was about being healthy, about greatly reducing my risks of diabetes like my father, greatly reducing my risk of high blood pressure like my mother, about being around for my children and possibly grand-kids, About extending my quality of life to the very maxium, that becoming skinny is just the bright side of things. Am I going about this the wrong thing. Do I have the wrong thought process?

I really feel its important to have my mother supporting me. My father doesn't seem to have such a problem, he is all for me becoming healthy. I need help getting past this road block. Any advice is greatly appreciated as I truly hope to make this happen for my future.

[slimthickens 28]

Hi crew. I hope I am posting in the right place. I have been lurking the boards and just joined tonight. I have researched WLS off and on for a few years after my friend decided to have a procedure, I wasn't commpletely against surgery, but I was doing the same trip some others that I have read. I would tell myself that surgery was taking the easy way out, that I could make this happen on my own, or if it was meant to be it will happen. etc and so on.

Well two years have passed, I have become treadmill fit, but no weight lost. So a few months ago I started researching once more. My way of thinking was changing. I no longer thought surgery was an easy way out, I was looking at it as a tool/procedure that would help me for the rest of my life.

The battle I am fighting now, is how does one stay positive during this process? How can you keep looking forward when those you feel should be supporting you the most are the ones kicking you down? My husband of 17 years is the most supportive. When it came time to let my mom in on my intentions, it did not go so well, especially when Mexico came up. I got the " Does Skinny mean that much to you"? I was furious and all I could respond with was that it was never about being skinny. It was about being healthy, about greatly reducing my risks of diabetes like my father, greatly reducing my risk of high blood pressure like my mother, about being around for my children and possibly grand-kids, About extending my quality of life to the very maxium, that becoming skinny is just the bright side of things. Am I going about this the wrong thing. Do I have the wrong thought process?

I really feel its important to have my mother supporting me. My father doesn't seem to have such a problem, he is all for me becoming healthy. I need help getting past this road block. Any advice is greatly appreciated as I truly hope to make this happen for my future.

I think its important for you to accept your mom's opinion as it is but at the same time don't make your life decisions contingent upon the approval of others no matter how much you love them. Look at all the reasons you listed for having the surgery. That list alone should solidify your decision regardless of what anyone else might think. I was on the gurney seconds from being wheeled into the OR when my mother in law leaned over and told me that it was not too late to back out and not have the surgery...lol You just have to be strong in your decision and your rights as an adult to make that decision with or without the support of your mother.

[Lissa 2,631]

Ultimately, staying positive is on YOU. It's great that you have some family members that support you, but you have to decide that this is it and you're going to do it. You may have to make that decision every day for the rest of your life once you're sleeved. I'm sorry that your mom doesn't support your decision, but my personal philosophy is: If someone doesn't Feed me, F*#@ me or pay my bills, they don't have a say in how I run my life. Sounds harsh, but it sure saves a lot of hassle when people start running their mouths.

I know she's your mom, but she doesn't have to walk around in your obese body with your complications and fears. Only you can decide whether to do this and then whether to be successful at it.

Good luck!