A Sad Milestone

[mnbsleeve 87]

I don't know if talking with your boyfriend would be helpful or not, it just depends on your relationship and his ability to support you. But regardless of outside support, my sense is that your relationship with yourself and reconnecting with your self would be the most valuable; learning to believe in yourself again. You had the gumption to take a step such as WLS, so clearly you are a fighter. You reached out on the board so you care and YOU CAN DO IT!

I've always loved the saying "fake it till you make it" because it helps me address those feelings of "I hate to do.... blank..." or "It's too hard to.... blank..." If you fake it till you make it, or "do it anyway" and just "pretend" you like it, it breaks through that initial resistance, usually just enough to reconnect with those affirming thoughts and feelings and eventually we get some momentum. When I don't want work out I tell myself, just fake it! etc. I give myself permission to not like it or not be very happy about it, but I do it anyway. Again, it helps me ge through those tough moments that can build to one big negative week or month or longer.

I hope all of our posts are helpful in some way. We are all rooting for you!!! Sending lots of positive thougths your way that you get back on track!!!!!

[Yorkie Fan 16]

Here are the items I got last night at my support group meeting. I will tell you that the article says that transfer addictions occur in about 5% of WLS paitents, however please know that the article was done in 2007 and there has been no organized studies to confirm or deny the %. I still found the info helpful.

Let us know what else you may need! We are all here for you!

Link to the article:

http://www.docshop.com/2007/10/22/bariatric-surgery-stands-no-chance-against-an-untreated-food-addiction

We were given another sheet on the definitions, signs and identifing food addiction. But I couldn't get it to load. If you would like it, PM me and I will email it to you.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

This may not be the healthiest of advice but if you want to reset your brain but still receive the "pay off" of chemical floods to the brain that your addictions are giving you (dopamine, seratonin, etc.) then run like the dickens on a treadmill or lift something super heavy as fast as you can until you collapse. The chemicals that flood your brain after major workout exertion (like sex) will truly give you a euphoric high just like drugs. Now, addiciton to exercise is a real thing but right now it's the way lesser of several evils and will still provide you with your high so you can gradually ease off of your other substances.

[clk 3,519]

Yep, sounds like you worked on a little of the body issues but none of the head issues that led to your weight in the first place. You're not alone! Thank you for being brave enough to post about where you're really at, because it's a sign that you do want to change things.

Your first stop is a counselor. Honestly. Do it. You need to and I think you realize that. It's okay to need help at different points in our lives, so take advantage of the fact that it's available and get help.

Secondly, you're in luck. Because guess what? You STILL have a sleeve and it still works! Whatever your capacity is around one year is about where you're going to stay. You haven't stretched that sleeve out, you've just chosen to eat around it.

There is no reason why you can't work on your head while also reworking your eating to get your body where you want it to be. Starving yourself to lose weight doesn't work. If it did none of us would have surgery, we'd just buckle down and stop eating! You know how this works - you know the drill! I don't have to tell you how to eat or what to avoid because you knew all of this before or you wouldn't have lost anything with your sleeve.

So, call and make an appointment with a counselor. Then, look up the pouch test and get to it. Prove to yourself that your sleeve still works. Once you're done with the 5 day pouch test, get back to logging your food and putting the right things in your body. Start with that Protein and get back on shakes, too. It will help.

You were clearly using food to cope - SO many of us do this without even realizing it! Now that you can't overeat you're transferring that to something else. Get some help. Only you can change yourself, nobody here can do it for you. Get up and reclaim your life so that you can feel proud of yourself again.

~Cheri

[Texarkolina 201]

If your drinking is causing problems--and from your post it is--perhaps you should give AA a try. It is free and they are all dealing with addiction. You didn't mention anything about getting drunk, but you are relying on alcohol in an unhealthy way and that is a drinking problem. Anyone who has beaten addiction to anything (food included) will tell you that relapse is a place you usually go through on the path to recovery/health. There is no shame in having a problem.....as long as you don't let it steal anymore years from you. Best of luck.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

You have gotten some great advice. I think you should pat yourself on the back for coming out and saying all this too - laying everything on the table will help make your next steps clearer. Someone I worked with had great success with her weight after gastric bypass, and then a few years later I heard she was dead at 42 - died in her sleep of organ failure. Turned out it wasn't the WLS that killed her, it was the booze combined with her diabetes. This is a serious situation, and I hope you don't feel shame but instead can be open to getting meaningful help. All of us here have some sort of "situation" in our relationship with food - this could happen to just about anybody.

First, I don't think you have wasted your surgery. I think that consuming all those sugars(booze) and other carbs combined with erratic eating habits is messing with your body. Be nice to yourself for a few days or a week - no drinking, healthy, low sugar/low carb, plenty of Protein type food in small quantities SEVERAL times a day and I bet you will feel so much better. I bet you will also start to feel restriction again once you get off the sugar merry-go-round. I am thinking that if you could get feeling better nourished getting back on track with everything else would be easier too.

I have lost every week except for the weigh in after a one week business trip - small gain. I didn't feel that I was overeating, but every meal in a restaurant and I stopped losing weight. I now go out to eat every once in a while, and I eat part of my husband (or son's) meal. If I go to fast food I get a salad with chicken breast and just eat some of it, taking the rest home for future meals. If I went out to eat alot I would not be able to lose weight well. I feel like I should be able to just be there and eat as healthy as at home, but apparently i don't! Restaurants as a mainstay for meals are really hard.

You didn't say if your boyfriend is also your best drinking and restaurant meal eating partner, but I am guessing he is. I know that counseling may not be financially in reach right now, but I think reaching out to someone who really supports you (sister, good friend?) would be great. In my personal experience, it was very hard to give up a lifestyle vice while living with/spending most of my time with someone who was continuing in that behavior. I think you really need to talk all of this over with someone you can trust. I don't have the answers, but know that Your health and your goals are important too.

You might consider AA or some other free resource too. Good luck and hang in there.

[Ssilian 67]

MustangAli,

I am pre-op but I've been reading steadily on two forums and anything I can get my hands on. I understand that there is a 5-day pouch test: http://www.5daypouchtest.com/ that will put you back on track. Check it out -- it has a TON of information. I read that it reminds you of how to use your sleeve tool as you did in the beginning. I hope this helps!

[MeMeMEEE 206]

Ok first things first, get counseling!! This screams transfer addictions!! And also don't beat yourself up - I am reading you have gained 16 lbs but you lost 100!!! You are still doing awesome, you just need to stop the regain! You say you are between jobs - how about just getting out and walking! See some sites where you live, got to historical places nearby or national parks - free or cheap things that will get you moving yet keep you entertained too. Or how about going back to college? How about setting a goal of losing that weight and treating yourself and your honey to some sexy lingire? Give yourself something to work toward. How about nuts or beef sticks to snack on instead of carbs? Just keep them out of the house and you won't snack on them. Do you do your shakes anymore? How about just trying to do one a day - that usually takes care of the sweet craving for me. You are feeling weak and tired - are you taking your Vitamins? I know when I am tired I eat and really I should just get better sleep. Do you take a PPI still? I notice I have a gnawing in my stomach when I go off mine, I feel hungrier. Try going back on them and see if that fixes the growl and hunger. But above all, get counseling! Love and prayers!

Less than a year ago, my Sister threw me a "Fruit and Veggie Platter Party" to Celebrate me getting under 200 pounds. I got down to about 184? Today...I went over 200 again.

I have no one to blame but myself. I am between jobs, I am in love, we eat out a lot together, I HAAAAAAATE working out, I drink alcohol as often as I possibly can, and I eat carbs all day,

Not sure why I am doing this to myself, but I dont know how to stop.

Usually I just go back to the way I felt when I was first sleeved, how I was so busy and never hungry that sometimes 2 or more days would pass before I realized that I hadnt eaten. I usually lose at least 6 pounds by not eating at all for a day or 2. But I dont want to do that. I am actually HUNGRY all the time. My stomach growls. I feel weak and tired.

Has anyone here gained weight, got your Sh*t together and been able to lose again? Or am I screwed?

I wasted my chance.