Jealousy

[Sassygirl06 962]

My husband has said that he supports me 100%. We have been married for 18 years. When we got married I was a skinny woman. Through the years I packed on the pounds, and he got comfortable with me not being hit on. Now that I have lost weight he is noticing that other guys are interested in me....and he really doesnt like it. He is a thin man, and very attractive, but for some reason he has very low self esteem. I have tried to explain to him that I love him and I am not interested in any other man. He loved me while I was fat, and at my worst, so why wouldnt I love him while I am thin and at my best?

He is constantly getting pissed when he sees men checking me out, and now he wants to know where I am and who Im with at all times. He doesnt want me going out with friends any more, and is getting on my case for doing the same things I have done in the past when I was fat. I have no desire to leave him, but I dont know how to deal with his insecurities. I have been with him since I was 15 years old, more than half my life....and he means everything to me. I just dont want him acting like this. I dont know what to do. This is the man that I want to grow old with. Any one out there that has a suggestion on how to help him understand my feelings....guys I would love some input from you on how to communicate with him. He is acting like a stranger to me right now. Thank you for any input that could help.

[Catracks 865]

I would let him read this minus the insecurities part of it. That will only put him on the defensive. Tell him about the other things. Trust as you know is an integral part of a relationship as is communication.

[Joni 94]

Would he go for a couple counseling sessions? That might help. What you wrote was also very loving. Maybe write a letter to him saying those things and wanting to grow old with him. Leave it in his pocket or on his pillow. Which also makes me think about doing other little loving things to reassure him of your love for awhile? That's a tough situation. I sincerely hopes it works out for the 2 of you.

[4ALongerLife 329]

Counseling, counseling, counseling..... can't hurt and as this process has changed your lives, it can't hurt to talk about it with a professional.

[marisa.rose 6]

I would definitely start by telling him everything you just wrote... and counseling is the best idea! Also, let him know that you won't let him control you...that is very important. I really hope everything starts to get better for you!!