Goodbye Letter To My Family

[betterthanbefore 19]

I don't know why, but i just had to write a letter to my family! I met with my physchologist and she recommended that I write a letter of all the reasons why i was doing the surgery, and then to look at it after the surgery to see how much success i have had! I started to doing that, and then it turned out as a goodbye letter to my family in case i die on the operating table! i know i am being totally silly! my surgery is on Monday, the 16th; but I cannot share those feelings with anyone, as they will think i am crazy; but i even put a password on it so that nobody can read it but i left a clue on the letter as to what the password was so they could open it in case something bad happens. I know i am being silly, but is this normal? I mean does anyone else feel like that or am i just exagerating? i know there are always risks in every surgery, but I guess since this one is an elective surgery; and the thought of them ripping my stomach out; just really makes me feel very sad and bad! Anyone else feels like this?

[Lissa 2,631]

Oh, better, I got you beat on this one! LOL I am a paralegal, so, before surgery, I redid all of my legal documents. I redid my Will, Living Will, Health Care Surrogate. I wrote letters to my kids, listed all of my passwords for banking and important websites, made sure my kids were listed as my payable on death beneficiaries on my accounts, and then hid all of that in a safe place, giving the key to my best friend in case it was needed.

The weekend before surgery, I spent time with my youngest son, called my older son, and made sure I talked to my siblings and friends. I wanted to make sure those I loved KNEW it, just in case.

Of course, I made it through surgery with flying colors, just like you will!

One good thing came out of my craziness (I'm NOT calling you crazy, btw). My best friend updated all of her legal documents, password list and banking information while I was digging through my stuff. She was only 48 at the time, but it seemed like a good idea. It was a good idea, because she died suddenly in January. Since we had waded through everything together just a few months before, it made it very easy for me to help her family deal with closing down her business and finalizing her financials. Her husband had pooh poohed us when we were doing the updates, but he was thrilled that everything was spelled out for him when she passed away.

So, it's a good idea to have all of that stuff updated, but don't do it just because you're worried about the surgery. Do it because it's a great idea to have things handled before there is a need for them to be handled.

[betterthanbefore 19]

Lisa, thank you! You have been one of my best mentors on this forum! Now that I think about it, I should probably put together a Will! I don't want these to be taken by uncle sam

I am so sorry to hear about your friend though. God has a weird way of talking to us sometimes. Thank you for your kind encouragement! I will make sure I update everyone as I see progress with my surgery! I have to think positve! I am going to watch the movie "The SECRET"

[Lissa 2,631]

Good luck! There was a reason she was taken so young. We just don't know why. I know that my friend lived her life making sure that her loved ones KNEW they were loved. I'm blessed to have known her and, while I miss her, I'm quite certain she'll be waiting for me when it's my turn to go home.

[hope2Bfitand40 37]

I did the same thing, wrote good bye letters to my family and wrote a will!

[PhoenixFire 10]

I Thought I was the only one. And I am 34. But this is a scary thing and I want to go into surgery with my mind at ease knowing IF anything were to happen everything was taken care of.

[ShapeShifter 64]

I had considered myself morbid, because when a friend died at age 32, and I was 28, I did a will and living will back then. I updated it when I went to Ireland at age 39. Before I travel and even before nasal surgery at age 42, I let people know that if I should not return... I have no regrets and am grateful for all of the wonder and beauty in my life.

You are going to have a smooth surgery and a remarkable recovery... but letting those we love know we love them... is never a waste of time. We look forward to hearing how wonderful you are next week!

[Liberated Sleeve 148]

Yep, did all of the same things! Just makes sense to me to be prepared. Did I plan on dying in surgery nope, but if it happened then I wanted those I loved to know my wishes and all my loose ends to be tied up.

[former_vbg 198]

Like others have already commented, you are NOT alone. I am single, have horses, cats and a handicapped dog. I finalized my will, updated my POD's, living will, etc.. I even wrote up an extensive document what I called "Pet Profiles" as my fur babies are like my children since I don't have any. I wrote up their ages, including pictures of who was who, their vet information, any past major medical issues that someone would need to know, current meds, etc, etc.. Stuff that if my fur babies had to go to new homes that new owners would need or want to know about them. I remember sitting on the couch with my handicapped dog cradling her and weeping. I was so worried about what would happen to her especially since she is a special needs dog and few people would probably be willing to take on a dog that requires something like that.

I was going out of state to have surgery and alone, so I was pretty nervous. I will tell you though, even though I was still really scared going through the process of having surgery, there was a sense of comfort knowing that my affairs were in order. And, like Lissa said, it is simply a good thing to do regardless because we never know when its our time.

You will get through this just fine, but allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. It's completely normal.

[2BThinAlways 17]

When I was on my way out the door to the airport at 4 a.m., I just had to go wake up my 19-year-old son to tell him I loved him and give him a few final words of wisdom "just in case" ... of course, I came through the surgery just fine, and when I asked him afterwards if he remembered what I told him, he didn't!! LOL

[UK Cathy 977]

I had surgery on 3 April and before leaving for the airport I gave each of my boys and husband a letter and told them they could open it after my surgery. The letters were written as though I was not coming back (knew I was!) and highlighted parts of their lives that had brought me happiness and I also voiced my dreams for their future. Of course it told them how much I loved them and apologised for any upset I have caused in their life. I'm not very good at vocalising myself so the letter let me get everything down. The reason I asked them to open them is that I should not wait to be gone to tell them how much they mean to me and so they now know. Both boys sent me lovely messages when I was in the hospital saying how much the letters meant to them.

I have to admit though that I cried buckets when writing the letters.

[Caradina 65]

Maybe I'm a weirdo,but I didn't do any of this. I had an onscene amount of confidence that i would be just fine. I called my mom the night before and told my SO that if I got kidnapped in Mexico that he had to disguise himself as a rodeo clown and come get me. Then I boarded my plane and the rest is history. I've had a lot of life threatening illnesses in my life, so maybe I've just been too close too many times to be scared of much anymore. I do have my paperwork all in order though, and I maintain it. I've been doing that since I was 18.

[SkinnyOnMe 81]

I think I will write the letters just in case. But I know that God won;t let me die. Not because of this and not now.