Reluctant spouse...need advise

[want2lose 1]

Thanks for all the responses. I think I will try and share some of this with him to see if it helps.

The way he and I figure it is......only I know best what I have been through that didn't work and what I had to experience while doing it. Only I know best what is still to try and knowing if I would be able to make it work. Only I know best how I feel being a big person. Only I can make the decision on what I want to happen to my body

This is a great way of seeing it. Thanks Carol for this input. I really appreciate your perspective.

I'm curious - for those whose husbands are against this, are the husbands overweight too?

My DH is 5'10" and about 225. He could lose 40-50 lbs, and has tried a few programs in the past (South Beach, working out, hydroxycut), but never gets below 215.

[PhotoNut 7]

My husband was very nervous about the idea of me having any kind of voluntary surgery. However, the more he listened to the information I found while researching the band the more informed he became about the risks and the potential benefits. Of course he was still very nervous when I went into surgery, but having his questions and fears addressed prior to surgery helped him relax and support my decision to be banded.

Here is an hour long video that you might get hubby to watch with you. It shows an actual band surgery and the surgeons also go over a great deal of information about the band, the surgery, the post op expectations, etc. You might also go over this list of questions with your husband and get the answers from your Doctor. Having so much knowledge could help you both feel more in control about the decision. Best of luck to you.

The video:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3190472028990485080&q=lap+band

The questions for your Dr:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=15595

[Mommy0105 0]

My husband was not immediately supportive either. His mentality was that of "I love you the way you are. You don't need surgery". But on the other hand, he was also well aware of how much I hated being fat.

I began my research and brought him along with me to meet various surgeons. After a few visits I think he realized I was not being impulsive (a trait I tend to covet) but was actually desperate for a change.

Pointing out the statistic that only 1% of morbidly obese people are able to loose their excess weight AND keep it off without surgical intervention, was a great selling point to him (and me). Maybe it will help with your hubby as well.

Anyway, long story short - eventually he came around when he realized I was doing this for ME. It had nothing to do with him loving me the way I was.

And I agree that a big reason many spouses are not supportive is because they fear losing you during surgery....

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!!

[CCBSTX 0]

I'd suggest telling him how you would love his support during this time. It is something that you want to do feel better and get healthy. Tell him how important it would be for you to have someone, that you loved ,behind you. When he is ready to ask questions, just be there with the answers. He just may come around.

Good luck. Shawn