Do You Ever Feel Like Telling Fat People To Get Surgery?

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

I know. I did share this with one woman at work who was telling me her knees hurt. I said something innocuous I guess -- and she said, no; I know it's because I'm overweight. And this woman really is --- I'm thinking she's 350 or more. Nicest person. So I told her the whole story of my journey -- I had probably gotten down to 220 or so by then, and she said, " Well, I'd never do anything that drastic."

Which I guess I understand. The thing is....you know....drastic? You're dying. You can't *walk*. Come on....

That's crazy! And you know the reality is that she will NEVER lose weight without surgery - especially since it sounds like she's in too much pain to exercise. That's really too bad.

And to chime in, yes, I've definitely pondered coming up to people and telling them about the surgery. But like everyone else here, I've resisted. Imagine if some stranger came up to you back when you were big - I know I would've, at the very least, thought they were totally nuts to approach someone like that.

[crosswind 134]

The reason I didn't - and would never -- think about RNY is because of the rerouting of the intestines. That actually *did* sound drastic to me because you process most of your nutrition *after* the stomach and there is a lot we don't know yet about how that truly affects health.

I didn't like the lap band because I didn't want some kind of cap you could open on my belly to inject air and saline. That was just too Matrix for me.

The VS is pretty tame in comparison, and quite honestly I am confused about how anyone could possibly get back to their prior weight after it. You might bounce back up five or ten pounds, but there is just not enough time in the day to really get those calories in unless you decided to eat butter every hour on the hour. I mean it can be *done*, but you you would really have to try.

[crosswind 134]

BBJ -- if you saw this woman you would know that that is exactly the truth. There is just no way this woman will ever get relief without medical intervention. None of my business, in a way, but...well, I would rather the woman in the changing room had given me some real information instead of basically telling me I looked like ****.

[Seannie 42]

OMGoodness - I couldn't agree more! I'm just now 4 weeks post-op, and while I've had my sdhare of "slimy issues" this surgery has changed my life! I mean that literally. I'm feeling better than I have even when I've lost more weight on other diets. I feel in CONTROL... I truly believe that this is a life changer, and that it's exactly what I needed. I needed the restriction, the inability to over eat. My BP is dang near normal, knees no longer hurt and hate to admit this but ... the desire to eat, and over eat is practically gone... you can not tell me, for those in the weight loss struggle, that they like it. Because they don't.. we don't... no one likes to limp because their ankles are swollen and their arches hurt. no 40 year old woman wants to walk with a cane, because it hurts to carry around that weight.. NO ONE wants to feel invisible and treated less than because they are heavy ... I could go on and on.

I've seen so many women, and my heart aches for them - because I've been there. The one thing that gives me a little solace is that maybe, just maybe.. some of these folks HAVE had the surgery, and they are just going through the metamorphisis (that's just me trying to find the bright side)... But I know if someone looked at me, and thought the same thing "dang.. she should get WLS" they'd be hard pressed to talk to me about it - because I walk with purpose now.. I hold my head up.. I smile more and dang - I still have 70 pounds to go.. but I'm proud of myself for doing something so "drastic"... I got my life back.. who wouldn't walk around with more pep in their step??

[Jlo77 11]

Best advice I got was from my sister in law she said she wish she had done it sooner. For me I wanted to waittill after I was done having kids to have the surgery. I feel better then I have felt in 10 years. I love being active the join pain is gone, heartburn gone, sleeplessness gone and extra weight going lol

[Rootman 1,101]

Funny this should come up. Yesterday the wife and I went to Branson Missouri to the Landing, a long outdoor strip mall. We parked at the end and walked to the end and back and I was in fine shape, not out of breath and not even tired. Wifey needed to visit the restroom so I parked on a bench and waited, enjoying the sunny aftyernoon. Along came a giant of a man, he was taller than I am but was heavier than I ever was, he had to be 400-500 pounds easily. It was hard to tell his age but he was probably my age. He was huffing and puffing and leaning on a cane.

My first thought was “Thank god I don't have that problem any more”, my second was should I lean over and ask “Have you ever thought of weight loss surgery?”.

I almost wished for a small pamphlet, something like a religious tract outlining WLS and providing URL's to sites like this. What do ya'll think of something like this?

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

I almost wished for a small pamphlet, something like a religious tract outlining WLS and providing URL's to sites like this. What do ya'll think of something like this?

LOL, it's funny you say that, because I also thought of typing that in my post. Then I remembered how freaking annoying it is to get those pamphlets under my door and how Jehovah's Witnesses would ring my doorbell back when I lived in a house rather than a condominium, and decided it was way too intrusive, haha.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

How RUDE, right? So I don't say anything . But boy do I want to.

How about you?

Even though these overweight people should be informed it is not our job - i don't think anyone could/should go up to a stranger and start this kind of conversation. No matter how true, and how well intentioned you are.

I think you PHP should bring the subject up. I heard it said that they are afraid to. I feel this is ridiculous that your dr. can't talk to there patient about there health - thats what he's there for, to help you in all physical ways. So obesity is right up there.

I went to the dr. frequently do to many health issues that of course were not helped by my excess weight. He would say periodically that i need to lose weight, but then he would drop it. One day i came into his office and asked him what his opinion was on me getting WLS. All of a sudden - the door was open and we had a great long discussion.

kathy

[Indymom 132]

A girlfriend at work decided to have VSG done in December after I talked to her about it, and another co-worker has been asking me a lot of questions and is likely going to go see a surgeon for a consultation. I have another friend at work who is really heavy and unhealthy, and whenever she says "you look so great, I wish I could get down to your size" I've very politely offered to give her more info about my surgery if she's interested. She is scared of surgery as she's never gone under the knife before; I hope she starts considering it, though.

[ImLooznit 171]

I think we have ALL thought of telling someone.... THAT is WHY I decided before I went back to work to not keep it a secret. That way if anyone has questions, they will feel free to come and talk to me about it, and I have had a few.... I tell them all it is the BEST thing I have done for my health!!! We must all remember.. not all can afford it, and not all have insurance that will cover it, tho more and more are doing so. All we can do it not be ashamed of what we have done, as we ALL did it for our health... Don't be ashamed... WE DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT. share your story.. you may be the person to "push" someone to helping themselves....

[ImLooznit 171]

I have to add, yesterday I had to go see my PCP and I had not seen her since my surgery. She could not get over how good I looked, how all my test came back perfect. No longer on any medications since the day of my surgery. She then started asking me small questions and I told her I tell everyone I can about it, She asked if I would do it again? Absolutely!!! More questions, then she admitted she had never talked to anyone that had had the surgery, and her son really needed to have it, as he weighs 450 lbs. I flat out told her to it would be the best thing he did. She hugged me when I left her office and thanked ME for all that I had told her. Her last words were, keep telling people about it. I didn't even feel like I had been to her for a problem So you never know when you might help someone else... make that wonderful decision.

[hopefulstar 2]

I havent even had surgery and I do want to at least educate people and get people thinking about it. I thought about surgery a long time ago and never thought for a second my insurance would cover it. I saw 3 of my friends on FB dramatically lose weight (they all had the by pass tho) and those pictures just lit a fire in me and I contacted them all and they were all ecstatic and then i called my insurance and I couldnt believe i was covered. so in about a months time I will be on the losers bench.

BUT, back to the topic at hand. There was a post on another website about a man who did undergo the VSG and had lost 100 lbs and was sooo happy with his progress and what was to come (still needed to lose at least 150 more). Shortly after reaching the 100 lb mark, he was stopped by a woman at Home Depot who felt compelled to tell him he should have surgery and that she did it and she knew how unhappy he was. This crushed him badly and made him feel that his 100 lbs meant nothing and that people stilled viewed him as huge and miserable. That being said, be careful. That really ruined his day and motivation.

[Michellefaina 45]

When I was going through the whole weight loss process in the beginning : seeing the nut and case manager etc. What struck me odd was that half of the people telling me how to eat and what to do to live a healthy lifestyle where overweight! I wanted to ask them why they haven't got the surgery? It kinda made me wonder if they knew something I didn't! Anyhow I didn't ask them because I felt like it would be rude! I do however tell my overweight friends about it and highly reccomend it to them!

[Neese 75]

I don't look at people and think that I should inform them of WLS. I think it's extremely intrusive and most people know their overweight and know about WLS, maybe not the sleeve specifically. If WLS or my weight loss or eating habits are questioned I do not mind sharing my story. I think it's judgmental to look at people and think we should offer them WLS advice. There's a point when you realize you have no more control over yourself that you choose WLS and those people may not be there yet. All the advice you want to offer will sound like an insult. What if you were to offer advice to find out they're already going thru the process? If someone had suggested it while i was going thru the process I would feel beaten down. I do admit I see a morbidly obese person and my heart sinks for them because I know what it feels like. However, they're their own people and make their own decisions. Usually I just look at them as another person going through the journey of life (: