Do You Ever Feel Like Telling Fat People To Get Surgery?

[crosswind 134]

Yesterday I was getting out of my car and going to the rental office and this lady was walking towards me to her car. She was very overweight, wearing a sackish kind of dress and she looked...just miserable. I mean *miserable*. I am not saying you can't be fat and happy or anything else -- not passing judgment at all certainly since I used to be her -- but she truly looked like she hated every waking minute of being in her body.

And I know that feeling.

I wanted to tell her all about weight loss surgery. I wanted to stop her in the parking lot and say, hey, you know what you should do? You should really try this, i'm not kidding...

How RUDE, right? So I don't say anything . But boy do I want to.

How about you?

[lyndynojo 140]

YES,YES,YES!! Then I feel guilty for thinking that, like I'm judging someone who has my same problem. I just remember how miserable, self loathing and self conscious I was before my surgery and weight loss. I wish I could pay for every person who wants to help themselves to have this surgery. I feel like my normal thinner self when I was younger.

[yecats 109]

I have thought this several times. I have stopped myself. I decided not even to share with my own family out of there reaction so I sure would not to offend anyone one else or get a reaction I wouldn't like.

The way I found out about the Sleeve is I am a server at a restaurant and a guest shared her experience when she did not want a drink with her meal. I am not a pushy person, she just wanted to share her experience. I went home, looked into it, found this site and was hooked. 5 months later went to MX and the rest is history. That lady has know idea she changed someones life.... mine.

Maybe one day I will get my nerve up and help make a difference in someone elses life.

[AliveAgain 283]

Yes, absolutely. It really is as though blinders have come off and now I really see how I must've looked when I was at my heaviest. I see a lot out on my daily walks, barely moving, shuffling feet or choosing to sit on the bench instead. One woman looked absolutely depressed and it took all of me NOT to stop and ask her how she was doing. I see them choosing the elevator instead of the stairs and want to grab them and tell them to come with me!

[crosswind 134]

I know. I did share this with one woman at work who was telling me her knees hurt. I said something innocuous I guess -- and she said, no; I know it's because I'm overweight. And this woman really is --- I'm thinking she's 350 or more. Nicest person. So I told her the whole story of my journey -- I had probably gotten down to 220 or so by then, and she said, " Well, I'd never do anything that drastic."

Which I guess I understand. The thing is....you know....drastic? You're dying. You can't *walk*. Come on....

[kimmy*custis 276]

Oh yes, I feel that all the time. I couldnt do it though, I wouldnt want to embarass them. I will bring it up if a conversation comes up, lets say in the food aisle of the store. Maybe they ask me about a certain product and I explain I dont eat that anymore because I had weight loss surgery, it is amazing the responses you get and I tell them how easy it was, where I got it done and if they want any info I will tell them.

[minaleigh 95]

I know I have. I just want to tell them that they can be so much happier and freer (looks like a weird word...) if they got the surgery. But then I think, "when I was at my heaviest, would I really want some stranger to come up to me and tell me to get weight loss surgery?" The answer is no, I wouldn't want them to. I would just fall into a depression and probably eat myself through it if I looked so fat, that even strangers would comment on it. I think they need to come upon the decision on their own, it's what I did.

[crosswind 134]

yes, of course. I would never say anything -- except that once and it was only in the context of sharing my own experience.

I remember once I was trying on winter coats at some department store. I had a few I was trying on, one was a 16 and one was a 1X....and the 16 was cute, but really tight. And then I tried on this other one, and this *woman* who was in the changing rooms there with me started telling me oh, the larger one looks *so much better on you*...with this look on her face which was basically saying I was too fat to even think about the smaller one.

I didn't ask for her opinion, you know? I mean who was this person? As a fat person was I also suddenly too stupid to tell when something didn't fit me?

MAN that was rude. You do have to be careful with this stuff.

[So Cal Kurt 32]

I see people all of the time that I am compelled to say, "there is a better way to live your life". Out of respect, I don't. I do share with anyone that askes though. A few months back at my support group, a woman came up to me and said I was the reason she had VSG. I talked in front of the information session and answered their questions about my journey and what to expect. I have to admit, it felt so good to be a positive inspiration.

[chitowngirl 885]

It's funny because I have a cousin who is over weight and she wants the surgery, but I guess she is having anxiety about starting the process. So I just don't push it, I did tell her about my experience but I will not push her anymore. It's funny because my endocrinologist who was treating me for pcos, just came out and flat told me you should have weight loss surgery. It was at that point that I was like yeah I should. From there I started my process.

[coops 1,790]

This really does ring true to me. I have a friend in work who I love dearly, she really is a great woman - mid twenties and morbidly obese. I believe that she eats for comfort and has depression issues - she has had a really hard life that has made her the beautiful woman she is. She is constantly going to a slimming club, spending a lot of money to be told that she has 'stayed the same' or 'lost a pound' and to have that 'pat on the back' for not giving up like she is some sort of child. I have walked in her shoes so many times... and cried the same tears as her when the public humiliation was over.

There is a part of me that really wants to talk to her about the sleeve... but I just can't. Only two people know in work and that was because I felt I had to tell them.... not a comfortable secret to have. I feel really bad, knowing what I know, and not sharing with her... we have discussed WLS in general and she doesn't seem confident about surgery.

I know that sounds like I am being really selfish... I do support her in other ways...

[mona777 12]

I have thought this several times. I have stopped myself. I decided not even to share with my own family out of there reaction so I sure would not to offend anyone one else or get a reaction I wouldn't like.

The way I found out about the Sleeve is I am a server at a restaurant and a guest shared her experience when she did not want a drink with her meal. I am not a pushy person, she just wanted to share her experience. I went home, looked into it, found this site and was hooked. 5 months later went to MX and the rest is history. That lady has know idea she changed someones life.... mine.

Maybe one day I will get my nerve up and help make a difference in someone elses life.

I WISH I HAD THE COURAGE TO TELL PEOPLE I HAD SURGERY! I'M STILL LOSING AND MAYBE IN A YEAR I WILL HAVE THE CONFIDENCE AND COURAGE TO HELP SOMEONE!

[IowaAndy 95]

I have thought that many times. I hear people say "Oh she is such a pretty girl, too bad she is so overweight". Well not that I was ever pretty but I was always overweight. Part of it was my way of dealing with stress and life. I guess I think about others that are overweight but then I think.....maybe if I walked a day in their shoes I would understand why they are as heavy as they are. I just keep quiet and is someone that I know is a close enough friend I will talk to them about my surgery and how much of a change it has made in my life. This is a hard decision for everyone and I know that it was a major decision for me to have the surgery. It only took me 56 years to get it done.

[Khy 16]

Yes I feel like I want to talk to those people. I think that is becase I am so thrilled with my weight loss (I am not at goal yet but even if I never lost another pound I would not change my mind about this surgery). I FEEL so much better. I often wonder why they hesitate to get it done. I even asked my brother who is a Family Practice doctor why GP's do not reccomend this surgery more often. He said most family practice doctors do not really know that much about it and hesitate to recommend something they are not familiar with. Well I think he has taken a good look at the sleeve because he is always asking about different aspects of my experience. I think he will bring it up with now more often with patients who could benefit.

Khy

[lsereno 2,525]

I do mention it in passing when it fits the conversation, but I never push it or tell anyone it would be a great for them. For someone who is not ready, it would not be great for them. Some people do gain all the weight back after this operation. It happens. If someone isn't ready for the operation, my opinion is they will have a harder time complying with the requirements and dealing with recovery issues.

I have a friend who was scheduled for RNY, decided not to have it, then decided to go through with it when she heard I was getting the sleeve. She didn't follow through. Now it is a year later and I am at goal weight, She just had her other knee replaced. It breaks my heart, but it is her body, her life, and her decision.

I don't just throw it out there if someone is overweight, but I always mention it if appropriate, just to get the word about surgery out there. For example, when a waiter/waitress asks if I didn't like the food because I ate very little, I'll say "it was really yummy. I had weight loss surgery and it just doesn't take as much to fill me up now:" I told my fav bartenders why I couldn't have a drink for six months as I sipped a still Water with splash of cranberry and hubby enjoyed a mai tai. Also when people complement me on my weight loss, I always mention the surgery.

For me, I don't have an issue with letting anyone know my choice. If they have a stupid reaction I just move on. I feel I am helping get the word out that surgery can make a difference if you are ready for it.

I started investigating the surgery after my step-daughters' aunt had it done. I had never heard of the sleeve and thought there was only the band or RNY.

Lynda