For those at Goal - How did you know you were there?

luckyme · August 9, 2006

I was banded about 1 1/2 years ago. Down from 275 to 160 at 5'8". I've been stuck in a 5 lb range for 3 months. I wanted to lose another 10 - 20 lbs. Despite another fill 2 weeks ago, consistent exercise and about 1000 - 1200 cal a day, the scale just won't budge.

My upper body is boney, but my lower body still has more "pudge" than I'd like (size 10 - 12). I'm delighted with the progress I've made, but miss my steady loss and just not ready to be "done". However, I'm starting to think that at age 53 this is as low as my body wants to go. I'm not too tight, so I may go for another fill in a couple of weeks.

So do I give up my dream of a size 8 and be thankful for where I am? Is my goal unrealistic? I'm afraid that if I can't lose more, I'm on the verge of gaining again. I've been overweight since age 6, so this is thinner than I've ever been, but not as thin as I want to be.

So how did you adjust to the transition time at the end of your loss either at or near your goal? I so loved seeing the scale drop regularly.

Jachut · August 9, 2006

Hmmm, well you're weight is always changeable so you're not "done" till you decide you're done. But you do have to think about how much more work you're willing to do to get to the weight you want. Afterall it sounds like you've worked very hard and that more progress is going to require a change of tactics and probably harder work.

And I guess you have to really think about what you want to achieve in terms of physical perfection too. How much does it really matter? I think people set themselves up for a lot of disappointment with unrealistic goals, particularly with the hope that plastic surgery is going to make everything all perfect at the end. You're still just going to be an average person who some people find attractive and some people dont. Is it really worth the work to lose more?

I'm not saying you shouldnt lose anymore of course, but you need to be sure you really want and need to. You're a healthy weight now, and really for many women, no matter what they weigh, they'll never ever be happy with their lower bodies!

Chickie · August 10, 2006

I picked the middle of my BMI range as my goal weight.

I always said I would just wait and see how I felt as I got closer. And at one point I decided that I was done. But my body had other ideas, and I am now below my goal weight/BMI.

NewSho · August 10, 2006

Wow, congrats on the 115# lbs loss! :clap2: That's amazing in such a short time.

I was banded about 1 1/2 years ago. Down from 275 to 160 at 5'8". I've been stuck in a 5 lb range for 3 months. I wanted to lose another 10 - 20 lbs. Despite another fill 2 weeks ago, consistent exercise and about 1000 - 1200 cal a day, the scale just won't budge...
So how did you adjust to the transition time at the end of your loss either at or near your goal? I so loved seeing the scale drop regularly.

I don't know, even after 18 months, I'm not sure 3 months is a plateau, when you're this far out. Since you just got that last fill (you didn't mention how much it was, or how good you think your restriction level is) it's still a bit early to tell if this fill will be your "sweet spot."

All I can say is the closer you get to your goal (yours or your body's, whichever comes first :rolleyes ) the slower it sometimes is. When you have lots of excess weight to lose, it comes off much faster. But honestly, I thought I had hit a full-fledged stop to my weight loss and even my original surgeon thought I might be at the band's end.

I was so mad because I was well over 35# away, and I thought I had no other options. :cry

So while I was contemplating a revision to a bypass (quite seriously) I consulted another doctor for fills, who thought that there was still life in my band, and that we'd try. Well after 4 1/2 months, two small fills got me jump started again. So it is possible you're not done yet.

Have faith. Remember Bandsters can always try to jump start their weight loss even 2 or 3 years later. That's one benefit that RnY or bypass patients often can't claim..

So, maybe the fat lady hasn't sung. (Heck, I haven't even warmed up my voice, yet! :heh: )

...And I guess you have to really think about what you want to achieve in terms of physical perfection too. How much does it really matter? I think people set themselves up for a lot of disappointment with unrealistic goals, particularly with the hope that plastic surgery is going to make everything all perfect at the end. You're still just going to be an average person who some people find attractive and some people dont. Is it really worth the work to lose more?

I would never, ever, ever even think to write to some person I didn't know:

"You're just going to be an average person who some people find attractive and some people don't."

Respectfully, I think that's bollocks.

To some people, it is worthwhile to work at being attractive. It's no more setting themselves up for disappointment then cheering for their favourite football team or hoping that it won't rain on a particular day. It's all relative, and people certainly can define what's important to them. Just like some folks think having Weight Loss Surgery is worthless to them, having it and doing all that is needed to get to whatever level they aspire to (including plastic surgery, if they like) is acceptable.

Everyone should define what their goals are, and luckily that's individual.

Just a thought.

Chickie · August 10, 2006

and really for many women, no matter what they weigh, they'll never ever be happy with their lower bodies!

Amen!

I am having my TT next week, and I am already thinking my thighs are a bit wobbly! My tummy is my worst spot, but now that it's in it's last week, and I know this time next week it will be gone, I have moved on to my thighs

But I am fairly sure that a TT will be my only PS. The only other op I would consider is a breast lift (I'm no longer big enough for a reduction, at an 8FF) and even then... Provided I can hide them in my bra, and I can cope... It's my thighs that will drive me mad now. My thunder thighs :heh:

But really. For me, losing weight was not about being skinny, a model, or the most beautiful woman in the room. I wanted to live past 40, I wanted to be a good example for my son, I wanted to be the best wife I could be. And I couldn't do all I wanted to do as a MO woman (I could always do the basics, but I wanted to go above and beyond, IKWIM?)

So aside from the BMI goal weight, I just wanted to be healthy. And if you are healthy, and happy, and they were your primary goals, you are at goal. We as a society focus far too much on physical beauty, and being skinny. It makes me glad I have a son (although he worries me at times).

Oh. I am rambling again. Sorry. Lots 'o thoughts in my head today!!

(I think I am a fairly normal woman, BTW, aside from the insanity)

Jachut · August 10, 2006

Sigh. I may well consider a breast lift myself, lol.

That's precisely what I mean Sammee. There are more important goals than physical perfection to be considered, although for sure, achieving what you want to physically is important. If I get to 160lb I think I'll be trying to focus on what I've gained, not what I still have to lose, I just think that's a healthier focus is all. And if your body has decided 160 is it, then there's so many things to Celebrate. If you want to work harder and lose more than that's great too.

I simply am making the point that you have to decide yourself when you're finished. That elusive "perfection" doesnt exist as beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Therefore it doesnt matter one whit if you're happy at 160lb or would be happier at 140 - that's your decision. As I said, you're finished when you decide you're finished. Maybe I didnt say it as well as I could have.

I dont know, I value my body for what it can do, more so than what it looks like. Its born three beautiful healthy children, its fed three beautiful healthy children. It can run, it can perform some functions darn well, it even has some special talents, I've been a state level softballer and netballer in my day. Its a great body. What it weighs is not a patch on what it can do in my opinion.

I get that some people are more fussed by what their bodies look like, but you can gain a whole new respect for yourself and a whole new level of peace if you learn to think about yourself from a different perspective.

Those are the kinds of things that I consider it healthy to think about when deciding your goal weight. So Newsho I'm sorry you seem to find everything I say these days offensive, but not everybody is focussed entirely on what they look like, and you're smart enough to know that.