6 Year Old Daughter Doesn't Want Me To Change. :(

[NJsharon 119]

I have briefly told my twin girls about my 'tummy surgery' explaining I will be away just for a few days and that it will help to make mommy more skinny & healthier. That I will be able to do more things with them as mommy won't get tired all the time.

One of my daughters is really upset though, she is crying right now. Keeps saying she doesn't want me to change & likes me as I am. It is breaking my heart.

I asked her if she was scared of the operation & she said no, she just doesn't want me to change.

I explained it will only be the way I look that will change & that will happen slowly. But I will still be the same mommy & still do fun stuff with them.

But she is still crying.

I don't know what else to say to her to make her feel better about this. It really is breaking my heart!

[101driver 46]

This is a great opportunity to discuss health and well being with your kids. I've really become honest with myself about the bad examples I was to my kids - mostly the binge overeating. Now they are both so proud of me and inspired by my focus and determination. 6 is a little young to "get it." Maybe she's scared that your relationship is what will change? Assure her that you will still be the same mommy you every were! Truly, this is the best thing you can do for yourself and for your kids. Best wishes to you.

[Caradina 65]

Change scares little kids. In her mind, change is BAD, any change. She's not making the jump to the positive, and she may not. I would just let it ride with her and since your loss will be gradual and she'll see you everyday during it, she may not even really notice!

[thinoneday 445]

Like the previous poster states, change scares not only kids but everyone. People don't care for change much and when it happens it's scary, the good thing about kids however, they are resilent to change, it happens, they forget about it. . . life will be ok. Makes me wonder if she really doesn't want you to "change" or because you'll be gone for a few days? She'll be ok and you'll be better and healthier for it. . . good luck!

[beautifulnewme2012 164]

I took my 4 yr old to the surgeons offc with me on one of my quick Appts...this put him at ease just to see how nice the doc and his staff were. He sat there as the doc told me what gastric sleeve surgery was and hasn't cried a bit since..I think new is just scary to kids...and I wouldn't take ur kids if the doc doesn't have a friendly bedside manner. My surgeon actually encouraged me to bring friends and family to appts with me...

[Lyra 43]

You can always create an "Adventure List" with your kids and together ya'll can choose 10 'adventures' to go on with you as you lose weight. Fun, silly, or creative stuff that you may not be able to do easily now. That way she'll look at it not only as fun and something to look forward to, but it can also show her that change isn't scary and that good things can come from it. Write it up, decorate it with glitter/stickers/whatever and put it on the fridge so that they can see it every day.

[Lilu 65]

I have briefly told my twin girls about my 'tummy surgery' explaining I will be away just for a few days and that it will help to make mommy more skinny & healthier. That I will be able to do more things with them as mommy won't get tired all the time.

One of my daughters is really upset though, she is crying right now. Keeps saying she doesn't want me to change & likes me as I am. It is breaking my heart.

I asked her if she was scared of the operation & she said no, she just doesn't want me to change.

I explained it will only be the way I look that will change & that will happen slowly. But I will still be the same mommy & still do fun stuff with them.

But she is still crying.

I don't know what else to say to her to make her feel better about this. It really is breaking my heart!

I really don't know know how much this will help, but stop talking about it for a while. Children are like sponages they obsorb everything good and bad. So start with telling her/him that you hear what they are telling you and you understand what they are telling you. Then tell her that you love her. Once she thinks you are not doing this any more she will stop worrying about you changing. Just like on the biggest loser this year is no excuses, because you are using her as your excuse to postpone this. I am only talking from experience my grandchildren did not want me to change. I asked everyone not to talk about it anymore and I told a little white lie when the time came. Everyone told the kids that I am going in for a sleep study and they we tell them that I had a bad stomach ache to cover for the longer hospital stay. I raise my grandkids so yes I Understand how easy it is to put this to the side, but if you are doing this for yourself why add more stress to yourself. You need to tell your children that this is a thought and continue your plan without involving your children in every step. Do your diet, change your habits and everyone else. They will never know the differents. This is just advice you take what you want and reject the rest if you wish. Good luck I go tom 4/11/12 :}

[Jen K 20]

My six year old is also scared. I realized though she thought I would look different as soon as I came home. She was afraid she wouldn't recognize me. Maybe that is what your daughter is thinking too.

[suzcomptime 17]

She may not fully understand what "change" means and how it will impact her. She also may be somewhat afraid about the fact that you are going to be gone away for a few days. Have you gone away in the past or is that a rarity. That might be part of her fear that she isn't expressing.

Confirm that when you come back from surgery, you will look the same and that slowly you will get healthier and can do more fun things together.I love the idea someone else posted about a list of fun things you can do during your losing journey. Good luck, our kids are so important to us but as with most things with raising children, you have to do the right thing by them even though they don't want it on the short term (think going to the Dr/Dentist, waiting for a treat until after supper, doing their chores, etc).

[urbandecayno5 40]

When I was that age my dad shaved his mustache he always had and I cried for days because I thought he looked like a bug. Like everyone else says children are scared of change. Yours will be a gradual one though so I dont think it will be a big deal. once you come home from surgery not looking totally different I think everything will be ok. Good luck!

[beautifulnewme2012 164]

Ya know it didn't dawn on me till the other day that my kids were thinking I was coming home from the hospital skinny till my 10 yr old asked me why I bought new sundresses to wear while I am healing the other day. She said "but Mom they won't fit after surgery when you are thin when you get home"....I guess I hadn't really explained my procedure all that well....I thought I had.

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

When I was that age my dad shaved his mustache he always had and I cried for days because I thought he looked like a bug.

LOL!!! I bet he loved hearing that!

[urbandecayno5 40]

LOL!!! I bet he loved hearing that!

Looking back he did look like a bug. He use to wear those gigantic glasses from the 80's. After that he grew it back and had it for 20+ years

[beautifulnewme2012 164]

Lol...every time my husband shaves I call him Babyface McGee...I don't like it!!!