To Tell Or Not To Tell?

[gettinthinner 4]

I am just wondering how people have handled telling others about their surgery. Several of my friends on Facebook know I have had surgery because I commented on it several times. BUT, I didn't mention what kind of surgery I had. I told a few close friends but find I don't know how to handle others who have seen me or have heard me mention weight loss and want to know what kind of surgery I had. I won't lie to them but at the same time there are people who I do not wish to tell - people who will disapprove or think it was unnecessary. I know that people who do not see me often, who I see only when I travel, are bound to notice a difference in my weight. Should I tell them I had surgery or just say thanks. I find myself not wanting to tell anyone I had surgery and locally feel upset when I discover the rumour mill has spread the word. I know that people think it is the easy way out but we all know that it has challenges and it not really so easy. Is there a way to tell people to mind their own business. I have one friend in particular who keeps writing me and asking me what the name of my surgery was, because she thinks she might want to have surgery as well. I never told her I was having weight loss surgery and I would like to tell her that my surgery details are private. Any advice. Do others feel it is private and not want to reveal that they had WLS?

So far my weight loss has brought me down to a level that I have reached through dieting before so people see me and may say that I am looking good but not say I have lost weight. I am hoping very much that I will lose more weight, more than people have seen me reach before and then they will start wondering how I am losing the weight. Do I have to tell? I am living in a small place where people could find out without me telling so it could be a bit awkward. It s not a big issue but the one friend who keeps asking me via email, without seeing my weight loss, is starting to get on my nerves. I do not want to discuss my surgery with her and wish she would just be happy to hear that I have been losing weight. Grr.

[Vance_ 217]

I didn't tell anyone except my boss and my dad...also my wife and children. It's no one else's business. People ask me how I have lost so much weight and I just say "less calorie intake, lots of Protein, lots of Water, and not much sugar". I'm not lieing because that is exactly what I have done.

[CathyT59 2]

I understand what you are saying! I didn't tell anyone that I was considering having the surgery until I was sure that was what I wanted to do. I've been overwhelmed with the support and best wishes that I have received. People have said some really nice things, like they admire my courage, and they are proud of me. But, I think that you have the right to your privacy as well. If anyone asks how you lost the weight, you can honestly tell them that you are watching what you eat, and making some positive lifestyle changes!! It's a work in progress!!

[Mr_Worm 129]

if you tell people you had WLS and didn't tell the type..I've noticed the automatic assumption is that people think you had a gastric bypass....only because its the only WLS they know about...so by not telling them you'll letting their incorrect assumption take place

[aaeactive_gm 20]

I would say " I would rather not discuss it with you". I have ont told a handful of folks and will not discuss my weightlss with anyone else.

[susiegotsleeved 1]

I told my family, close friends and a few co-workers, I too have experienced an outpouring of support and encouragement from my circle...

[MoonSiren 48]

I've told everyone too, even waiters at restaurants so they know why a fat girl isn't eating much.

[windycitymom 60]

I think this is a very personal topic. My husband knows and my best friend knows. That is it. I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't like to discuss the details. Because one I tell someone there will be a flood of questions For me, I was uncomfortable being asked questions and talking about it so I figured better to not share that. I contemplated telling everyone since I am a terrible liar however I agree with Vance since I am taking in a ton less calories and trying to stay away from carbs and sugar and successfully keeping my Protein up.

You should really look inside to find your own answer. You know the answers, listen to your self.

Besides remember that we are always here if you need to chat about anything should you decide to keep it to yourself Best of luck and keep us posted what you decide.

[ariesgirl 17]

I have told just about anyone who was wondering where I would be tomorrow (when I am having my surgery), and all of my family and friends. I do not really care what anyone else thinks, but that is always how I have lived. Anyone who judges your the personal choices that you make for your body is not anyone you should want to be around anyways. I have had nothing but positive support (to my face lol) with the exception of a few people who cannot believe that "I am fat enough" for this surgery. I tell them, well believe it lol

[chasin' dreams 2]

I only told my mom and one friend.... Since this is a life long change, I am approaching it in that way~ like Vance, I state that I am eating more Protein, fewer calories, and increasing my exercise routine. I am currently doing couch 2 5k , so some see me out running. Having the surgery is not the easy way out! We are all still having to work hard to lose the weight and we all deserve the desired privacy while doing it:)

[overboard 5]

I understand your reluctance. I was very uncomfortable telling people prior to my surgery.Mostly, because I guess I was embarrassed that I was so fat I needed WLS! I only told my family and a few close friends that I was considering it. But, once I made my date for surgery I told my friends and family as I saw them. I knew I didn't want to be Starr Jones and hide it when it will be obvious to anyone really paying attention to me. I didn't want people gossiping about me. Losing a drastic amount in a short time is a clear indication you have had weight loss surgery. I have heard more than a few conversations about people who are suspected of having weight loss surgery. It is usually quite obvious even if you don't tell people. Then they are left to wonder why it is such a big secret. So knowing this, despite being slightly uncomfortable I went ahead and told people. I don't like attention so that was hard too. I have been a teacher at the same school for over 10 years. I knew people would notice and ask questions so I have been open with parents when they ask. People have been very respectful and supportive. The more weight I have lost and the more comfortable I am with myself the easier it is to tell people. I am not reluctant to share it with anyone now. Good luck to you!

[isntsheclever 38]

I am vlogging on youtube. So I thought it would be silly to try and keep it a secret from people in my day to day life. Also, several people in my family have had wls. It's become a very normal part of my life. The more people I talk to about my own surgery, the more I hear that they know one or two people who have also had wls. Someone I know has decided to start their own journey towards wls based off of me being open about my experience. That alone makes all the 'haters' worth it.

I completely understand why people choose to keep it to themselves. It's a sensitive topic. And the general public can often be mean, or at least unsupportive. But I am choosing to be open, and so far I don't regret it.

[JimmyGotSLEEVED 270]

No you dont HAVE to tell anyone, period. It's none of their business especially if they Re going to throw unwanted salt at you for trying to change YOUR life for the better. Losing weight is NOT an easy task and deciding to have weight loss surgery is neither. Many people say "oh, your taking the easy way out" but I don't see them complaining when they get sick and run to pharmacy to get cold medicine to "help them" - well it's the same exact thing! Weight loss surgery only "helps" us lose weight, it doesn't do the job for us, we need to actively assist the weight loss process by working out, changing eating habits and making the correct choices at all times and THAT alone is a full time job.

I personally chose not to tell a soulbut my sister, because she already had weight loss surgery, she chose the band. I'm choosing the sleeve. Plus after seeing how much **** my family throws at her for losing the weight and gaining it back, I said f**k it (excuse my language). I'm doing this for me and only me.

I guess eventually in the future I might decide to tell people, but for now my choice is written in stone.

I hope this helps

[Navelbunnie 13]

I'm not a very private person, so I've told quite a few people. However, I do fairly frequently just say, "thanks!" without explaining anything when acquaintances comment on my weight loss. I am much more open with people who the info might benefit. I know I only moved forward with the surgery after watching a co-worker (who was very open about the process) go through it. I've also been blessed and have only encountered a great deal of support.

I think we're all entitled to trust our (shrinking) gut and do what feels comfortable. I believe this is just as much a psychological journey as a physical one. We've got be kind to ourselves whenever possible - including setting comfortable privacy boundaries.

[Cmullinvegas 39]

I'm struggling with this as well. Windy city mom and vance have made some good points. It is perfectly acceptable to say, your surgery is private. Originally, I only told 3 friends who had cosmetic surgery previously. That plan has changed because I have already delt with some busy bodies as well. I am a teacher and told my business manager I needed to take sick days for surgery. I didn't say what surgery but she told atleast 3 people. I didn't even tell some of my closest friends but they knew something was going on, so I ended up telling 3 more. I was stunned by the support, one friend is a stick and has never delt with weight problems, we eat lunch together and she has seen and heard my struggles. She told me surgery is gutsy, but her sister-in-law did it too. Another friend researched my surgery and was asking about my Protein. To clarify, telling or not is your choice, I mean who doesn't lose weight on a liquid diet, but you might be pleasantly surprised by sharing.