Eating Out With Friends

[ShoeLover 141]

I've noticed something when I go out to eat with my friends now since I've had surgery. They really pay attention to the amount of food that I eat, and then they try to eat a small amount of their food also. Or they ask me what I'm ordering and they get the same thing. I don't like all the attention being placed on what I'm eating or not eating. I just like to enjoy being out and socializing.

I have one friend in particular that I was hanging out with yesterday who knows that I recently had WLS, but insisted that she wanted to eat at Raising Cane's, which has absolutely nothing that I can eat, even though she had just eaten there the day before. I told her I couldn't eat there, and then I told her what places I could eat, and she says those are all sit-down restaurants, and she doesn't want to go to a sit-down restaurant. I was pissed, I sometimes can't believe the level of her selfishness. I mean, is it wrong for me to ask that we go somewhere that we BOTH can enjoy????

[Amanda 3.0 140]

Well if she wants to go somewhere where you can't eat, she shouldn't be surprised if you don't go with her. Maybe she has an issue with you losing weight, because what she is doing makes no sense at all. There are plenty of places where you could both go and enjoy your food.

If you want fast food, Chick-Fil-A has some surprisingly good options. They have at least one type of Soup (chicken noodle) and sometimes another (chicken tortilla). They also have grilled nuggets without the breading. And, she could have had her chicken strips.

I don't know what to say about people watching how much food you eat. That could be a little unnerving. One of my friends made a slight comment about hardly eating anything when we went to La Madeleine last week and I only ate half of my cup of Soup, but she didn't watch me eating or dwell on it.

[JimmyGotSLEEVED 270]

I've noticed something when I go out to eat with my friends now since I've had surgery. They really pay attention to the amount of food that I eat' date=' and then they try to eat a small amount of their food also. Or they ask me what I'm ordering and they get the same thing. I don't like all the attention being placed on what I'm eating or not eating. I just like to enjoy being out and socializing.

I have one friend in particular that I was hanging out with yesterday who knows that I recently had WLS, but insisted that she wanted to eat at Raising Cane's, which has absolutely nothing that I can eat, even though she had just eaten there the day before. I told her I couldn't eat there, and then I told her what places I could eat, and she says those are all sit-down restaurants, and she doesn't want to go to a sit-down restaurant. I was pissed, I sometimes can't believe the level of her selfishness. I mean, is it wrong for me to ask that we go somewhere that we BOTH can enjoy????[/quote']

When people watch way you eat and mimic your actions 9/10 they wanna follow in your foots steps. They see that your getting positive weight loss results and they are envious. Some bad, some good who knows. Now that you're eating lesser portions its not their fault that they choose to eat less when you all go out to eat, it's usually a psychological response.

On to the next topic, I'm not too sure if you attended any support groups Pre and post surgery but they talk about those kinds of friends who unintentionally try to sabotage you. She is definitely one them, she prolly doesn't know it yet but she's the bad enabler. If she is not satisfied with going somewhere else to eat by all means feel free to pass on the invitation and let her invite someone else. Trust me, you best bet is look after número UNO before make group decisions. Sometimes being selfish on your part is a good thing.

You are definitely not in the wrong, especially if she KNOWS u had wls then she is just trying to sabotage you intentionally!

[ShoeLover 141]

Thanks guys, normally I would have just gone on my way and eaten elsewhere, but we were driving out on a day trip and I was riding in her car, so basically at that point I didn't have much choice. It won't happen again, though. I should have taken some Snacks that I could eat with me.

[Heatherr 149]

I have yet to eat where I couldn't find something on the menu that was suitable. What kind of restaurant is that?

Yeah, ditch the friend.

[deltadawn817 106]

the funny thing when I had my surgery the Dr talked to me before and said that I will lose a lot of weight and not to be surprised if I lose a friend or two as for the shear fact of jealously. I have a few friends that haven't been so great and a few great ones that like to share with me when we go out.

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

I would've just gone there with her and sat watching her eat - while getting nothing myself. Might as well feed her weird issues by putting her bad eating habits on the spot.

[ShoeLover 141]

I have yet to eat where I couldn't find something on the menu that was suitable. What kind of restaurant is that?

Yeah, ditch the friend.

Raising Cane's only has fried chicken strips and french fries. That pretty much is the extent of their menu. They don't even have grilled chicken. Just fried stuff.

[lisalalani 81]

I would've just gone there with her and sat watching her eat - while getting nothing myself. Might as well feed her weird issues by putting her bad eating habits on the spot.

You are SO DANG funny Blackberryjuice!!!! i LOVE it!!!!

When people watch way you eat and mimic your actions 9/10 they wanna follow in your foots steps. They see that your getting positive weight loss results and they are envious. Some bad, some good who knows. Now that you're eating lesser portions its not their fault that they choose to eat less when you all go out to eat, it's usually a psychological response.

On to the next topic, I'm not too sure if you attended any support groups Pre and post surgery but they talk about those kinds of friends who unintentionally try to sabotage you. She is definitely one them, she prolly doesn't know it yet but she's the bad enabler. If she is not satisfied with going somewhere else to eat by all means feel free to pass on the invitation and let her invite someone else. Trust me, you best bet is look after número UNO before make group decisions. Sometimes being selfish on your part is a good thing.

You are definitely not in the wrong, especially if she KNOWS u had wls then she is just trying to sabotage you intentionally!

AND JimmygotSoul, you are 100% right!!! Shoelover, you don't need her bringing you down! Don't let her put you in that situation again. Be polite, but be STRONG! You ROCK and can Do IT!

[bethany1987 66]

I've noticed this too!!! Except my friend kept looking at me with every small bite I took and asking if I was okay afterwards. I guess I'm still making the "what is my sleeve saying to me" face. Lol it was a but unnerving.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[JimmyGotSLEEVED 270]

I would've just gone there with her and sat watching her eat - while getting nothing myself. Might as well feed her weird issues by putting her bad eating habits on the spot.

You are so MEAN, but hey, I was thinking the Same thing lol

[Amanda 3.0 140]

Raising Cane's only has fried chicken strips and french fries. That pretty much is the extent of their menu. They don't even have grilled chicken. Just fried stuff.

Raising Cane's just came to our area and boy, do people get excited by some fried crap. I've never been, probably never will go. There are way too many better choices for us out there.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I'm sort of jealous that people notice how little you are eating! Either I am not eating little enough =(, or am strangely good at hiding how little I eat but nobody ever notices or says anything. That friend of yours sounds super toxic! And passive aggressive. On dates I choose places that offer tiny portions like sushi and it gets viewed as romantic when I suggest we share a dessert (um okay). With friends I just get to-go boxes. Maybe because I am not really thin yet people just assume I am a normal woman on a diet so they don't say anything.

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

You are so MEAN' date=' but hey, I was thinking the Same thing lol[/quote']

If I were REALLY mean, I would've been like, "Wow, you sure eat a lot. Oh my god, that looks so greasy. Doesn't it just make you nauseous?" lol

[Lynn tyre 2]

If I were REALLY mean' date=' I would've been like, "Wow, you sure eat a lot. Oh my god, that looks so greasy. Doesn't it just make you nauseous?" lol[/quote']

Yep...that person is definantly not a friend...i too would have just eyed everything that went into their

mouth,telling them how bad it was for them, and how greasy and nasty that stuff looked!..when we left they would have gotten the idea..shame on that friend!...you need some new friends,ones that will be happy for you and try to encourage you!