Spouse/Family Support

[dterenzi 0]

I have been doing research for about a month on WLS and had not told anyone that I was doing this. So 3 days ago I decided to tell my husband, at first he didn't say a lot, and then he began to ask questions. I was really worried that he would not support me in this, and last night he told me that he thought it was a good idea. So I have his support. I also told my Mom, Not so supportive, she is totally against it. Bottom line is I have to do what I feel is right for me, and this is right. So I'm ready to move forward.

[lisah25 3]

You got it! It's great that your hubby is in your corner, that will help a lot.

Your mom might be like mine was when my hubby got banded. She didn't know much about it, had heard a lot in the news about complications from gastric-bypass and was worried. She's come around in the last 2 years, when I told her I was going to do the surgery, she was very happy and excited for me. So just give her time, she might just be worried for you.

[okiegirl 0]

I think they just don't understand how hard being over weight is. my husband was always supportive as were my children but some of the other family members weren't. They think I will change somehow.Some think you have to be fat to be jolly! I may be jolly on the outside but it's killing me inside, plus all the health issuses we have with being over weight! Hang in there, you are doing something for yourself and your family! Living longer!!__________________

Band Day: Sept 1st

Dr. Ortiz, TJ Mexico

[dterenzi 0]

I think that my Mom is just not up to date on the different options that there are now with WLS, I tried to explain them but she just was totally against the whole thing, that's ok though, I have my husbands support and he was the one I was really worried about. Okiegirl your going to Mexico for your surgery in just a few weeks, I hope that it goes well for you. And It's wonderful that your family is supporting you in this.

Donna

[Koko 0]

That's really wonderful about your hubby. Mom probably doesnt quite understand enough about what this entails - I think so many people automatically assume that it's the same as the gastric bypass which is so much more drastic and not reversible.

Give her a little time and maybe a few links to some informational sites so she can read in her own time and then be able to ask questions. If you get her to that stage, I think she'll be supportive of your decision.

[trizzy 0]

So glad to hear that the most important person in your life is giving you support--that makes a WORLD of difference!! My mom was totally against the idea of me getting the lap-band---going so far as to say she would tell my children I died because I was selfish!( if I died having surgery) Now though, she is starting to come around and is even going to watch my kids while DH and I go down to ol' Mexico! Sometimes a little time is all it takes! Good luck with everything!

[jttaurus 0]

First of all, Your in total control Donna. I was where you are last year.

My husband was against weight loss surgery and then he came around.

He's turned out to be my biggest supporter.

I chose not to tell my family, I decided that I didn't need any negativity around me while I was going through this process. My family lives out of town so it worked out ok.

Everything will be fine, have you attended your seminar yet? This will be the first session that will help you and your husband to ask your questions and proceed from there. I do know Dr B requires a support person and they make them sign a document stating they are supporting you and your recovery. You are making the best decision of your life. It will be great to put yourself first.

JEnnifer

[gordonfamily3 0]

Hey Donna - my DH was also one that was against the whole thing. That is until I took him to semiars and he learned more about the band. Mom was no problem she had a weight problem her whole life also so she backed me 100% from the start. DH quickly came around and has been there every step of the way. I think your mom will come around with time. When you go to the semiars have your mom go. Let her meet some banded people. It really helps....

[dterenzi 0]

I have read great things about two Dr's (Voellinger & Bauman) I just signed up to go to one of Dr Voellinger's seminars on August 21 2006 and My husband wants to go with me. YEAH! My Parents live in California so It wont be possible for my Mom to go. (I'll tell her all about it)

I guess this would be my first step. When do I start getting nervous...LOL

Donna

[Dragonwillow 0]

My husband too wasn't so hot on the idea at first. But after getting his questions anwsered at the seminar. And realizing that I had done my homework, he was okay with it. He loves me, and tries to be supportive. Maybe your mom can go to a seminar in YOUR area. There is no charge for them, and there are lapband surgeons everywhere. You could find a local surgeon to her and see if she would be willing to go to the seminar. If not there are alot of very informative sites that she could go to get more info.

Good luck

Melissa

[Mrs Sabre 1]

Until I started losing weight and people started asking about it, I only told my immediate family & closest friends.

My Dad is the only one who's not been totally on-board with it. I think he'll change his mind once he sees me later this month. The irony is that he struggles with 80 pounds himself, has high blood pressure and diabetes.

[dterenzi 0]

That is what I am going to do...Last night I asked my husband not to tell anyone about what I'm thinking about doing, and even if I am able to do this I don't want to tell anyone..I have decided not to even mention it to my Mom again. Why burst my bubble...LOL

[ladytonya 0]

I went to a local info session and my mom and hubby went with me. I went to the session in april, 2005, but have been procrastinating continuing with the whole thing for several reasons. Now that I have an appointment, my mom was like "it's about time!" She was actually looking at it herself, but she thinks she's too old. I told her that I've read about people on here that are in their 60s. She is 59. I don't think her BMI is over 40 but she definitely has many comorbidities so I thinks he could qualify. I'm hoping that maybe after I do it, if I ever get to that point (things are moving so slowly now I sometimes wonder), that she will reconsider.

I also with my hubby would consider doing it, but he won't. He's too afraid of going under. If they could do it under general, he'd probably do it! He's hoping that he'll lose weight because of how I will have to eat. He's lost over 100 lbs. before but gained it all back. He knows he can do it whereas I don't. I've never been able to lose more than 30 or 40 lbs. before I hit a plateau and gain it all back. I'm praying this surgery is what I have been looking for! :clap2: Yeah for supportive families!

[kittylover 1]

I haven't told my mom I am finding info/going for a consultation. Once she said "I'm not letting you have any surgery crap." she is highly against surgery. If I get a band date I will tell her then.

[dterenzi 0]

Tonya & Kitty I wish you both good luck!