Mental Meltdown...

[New1 201]

I Am having an emotional breakdown. It's been 12 days since surgery and I was doing "ok". Well I'm not ok! I am an OVEREATER and I am angry, tired, and scared of being one. I've been overeating as long as I have been able to open the refrigerator door, since the first time I was made fun of as a kid and ever had my feelings hurt or ego bruised. Dammit I wanna eat!!!! But since I can't I just came here to rant and scream the things I wish I could say to my husband but that he wouldn't understand because he's always been thin or what I can't say to my mom or friends because they would think I'm crazy. I don't usually play the why me card, I usual try to pick myself up by saying "why not me". I know there are starving children, wars, famine, and people with problems greater than being fat, etc. But tonight just on this board in front of random strangers I'm asking why me?! I want to wake up and not be hungry, not head hungry, not stomach hungry, not emotionally hungry, just f-ing not hungry! Grrrrr!

Ok, I feel slightly better and no I'm not crazy (at least I wasn't before I got sleeved, according to the psych eval) I just needed to vent.

[yecats 109]

Really sorry you are feeling like this. My husband is also lean and has never had a weight issue. He can eat anything and also go long periods of time without anything to eat. He jst does not understand.

I am seven weeks out and for me anyway I can say is head hunger does get easier. I personally have noticed how very much resilliant the human body (and mind) really are. One day it will click that you have made this change, it is like you mentally still have to except it. Right now your mind is fighting it.

Kinda like quitting smoking and getting rid of the nicotine.

When you are not feeling all @#$%#$^& maybe right down the things you miss. That is what I did.

This sounds crazy crazy crazy but I started watching all these food show subconsiously not realizing why and then one night I just started crying like a baby over DRIVE INS, DIVES AND DUMPS (?). The cooking show where the guy drives all over everywhere for the best restaurant food.

Your in the midddle of mourning food, I think it is very normal. I must say though that a lot of people don't get a handle on that and might sabotage there weight loss so really look into it if things don't change but right now I think it is very common where you are at. Hang in there and do not be so hard on your self.

Again, this to will pass.

I will be praying for you!!!

[Seannie 42]

I definately feel your pain. I am/was an over eater myself. While I can say I made the occasional bad food choice - my issue was more volume than anything else. I could eat a double cheese burger and fries and I swear, a little while later, i could eat a bag of chips.

I've experienced both head hunger and real hunger - but truth be told, it's the head hunger that makes me the most crazy. i want to eat - I want to overeat - It's weird that I kinda want my old life back. it's what I know, it's what I like...

BUT, looking in the mirror today, I really like what I see. i see the "old" me from back in the day, and dammit, i feel good. i can FEEL the inches being lost, and see the results... I also like the fact that I can take 2 or 3 bites of something and I'm full. That is really what I needed - to be FULL..

Bottom line, that's what these boards are for - to encourage one another, and know that you are never alone. There's a least a few people on here that have experienced the same thing you have.

I'm one of them..

Keep your head up, and stay in the game.. you can do it.

Seannie

[300PoundsDown 101]

I went through a major depression after surgery b/c of losing the food. Also remember it does take some time for that grehlin, hunger hormone to work out of your system. Trust the process. This will work. Eventually you will see a decline in your desire to have food above all else. Trust me!!!

[minnie20 8]

Niahri,

Everything you are feeling is normal. I felt the same way. I even regretted at first having had the surgery. I wanted to go back to my old self. I didn't want to drink liquids or pureed foods. I hated that I had too. And I too thought something was wrong with me because I was hungry, but as time goes on I learned that I wasn't really hungry, it was head hunger. I was so use to eating all the time that I just missed it. Be patient, it will pass. I am 6 weeks post-op and am down 31 lbs. You will adjust and once you start losing you will feel great. Good Luck!

[Jeni Martin 26]

8 days out and feeling hungry too (just very slightly)... have you tried adding some sugar free pudding mix to your Protein Shakes and blending them in the blender gives it more "body"

[New1 201]

Thank you all for the support. It is so good knowing that there are people who understand this process. Your words are truly a blessing to me right now.

[Finding MeMe 204]

Remember that food was your best friend and you have to say good bye. I too loved food and didn't want to break up with it but for my health I had to. The good thing is with my sleeve, I can''t over eat., I tried to one day but it quickly let me know that it was not having it. When full stop eating or I will act up.