Frustrated After Peoples Response When I Told Them

[SlevieNicks 9]

I'm so tired of everyone telling me that if I just exercised more and ate less I'd lose weight!!! If it were that simple I'd do it!! I work from home and sit at a desk for 9 hours a day...I try to clean on my breaks and relax a bit after work. I have worked out at the gym and done slim fast/south beach (at different times) and I barely lost any weight! And then when I got disgusted and quit I would shove my face in self pity!

I ate pizza tonight oh how I love pizza which is the worst thing I've eaten since seeing my nutritionist. If I didn't eat it I know I would be craving it more and eating more crap!

I have gone to therapy and talked to my shrink about my weight...yeah it's a pain to be fat and it's not like with my giant boobs I can run...

People tell me I should start walking which I can and do and then start interval jogging/running. Yeah if I didn't have DDD boobs slamming around I would.

I was also told that heredity has nothing to do with my weight and it's an excuse I use!

How hurtful! I am just not telling anyone any more that I'm getting a sleeve. I don't feel like I need to be ridiculed even more!!!

If I didn't care I wouldn't be going to a nutritionist and I wouldn't be having surgery...

[Inline6E46 31]

I definitely understand where you're coming from. I'm a big guy and not so manly in the chest area. Everyone I have told about my intention to get WLS has been a downer (except one coworker who has already had WLS). I've been told its the easy way out, that all I need is diet and exercise, etc etc.

While I understand where they are coming from, none of them have been morbidly obese (losing those extra 10 pounds isn't anything compared to losing ten times that much). So, all I do is nod and continue doing what my nutritionist tells me to do. I follow my diet and exercise routine (about 99%) and ignore what anyone else thinks.

This is a personal decision for me, just as it is for you. We are making the decision to be healthy. Some people may not see eye to eye with us on how we get it done, but they have not lived in our bodies or lived our life.

So stay strong. This forum is great for support and there are a thousand and one posts that keep me motivated to stay on track. So just try to stay positive. If you need support, this forum is there. Don't let anyone else tell you how to live your life, that right belongs to you and you alone.

Don't get discouraged, just brush it off.

[SlevieNicks 9]

I definitely understand where you're coming from. I'm a big guy and not so manly in the chest area. Everyone I have told about my intention to get WLS has been a downer (except one coworker who has already had WLS). I've been told its the easy way out' date=' that all I need is diet and exercise, etc etc.

While I understand where they are coming from, none of them have been morbidly obese (losing those extra 10 pounds isn't anything compared to losing ten times that much). So, all I do is nod and continue doing what my nutritionist tells me to do. I follow my diet and exercise routine (about 99%) and ignore what anyone else thinks.

This is a personal decision for me, just as it is for you. We are making the decision to be healthy. Some people may not see eye to eye with us on how we get it done, but they have not lived in our bodies or lived our life.

So stay strong. This forum is great for support and there are a thousand and one posts that keep me motivated to stay on track. So just try to stay positive. If you need support, this forum is there. Don't let anyone else tell you how to live your life, that right belongs to you and you alone.

Don't get discouraged, just brush it off.[/quote']

Thank you! I'm glad I found this app/forum!

It's nice to vent and know people like myself are reading and caring!

You are right the people saying things are naturally thin and don't have weight issues! I wish they would have to wear a real weight fat suit to feel what is going on in a fat body!

[Anjelika 14]

That's exactly the same response I get from EVERYONE I know. It's especially hurtful when those comments come from loved ones. I mean, those are the people who you thought would have your back thru thick and thin ( *^__^ ), but after hearing remarks like the ones you mentioned above, I feel like they don't know me at all. I feel like the only way I can move forward and not be discouraged is to not share my journey w them. It's sad that I can't, tho.

[D1NOnlySexyLady 70]

I understand everyone here! But my model is they are going to talk about you cause you are too big and cause your losing weight however you wish to do so. So I define don't pay mind to anyone of those haters. Lol

[Lissa 2,631]

WLS definitely is NOT the easy way out. Like Melanie, I have a genetic predisposition to be big. All of my cousins and aunts are BIG women. Maybe not as big as I started out, but my Granny used to call us her "Mack Truck Girls". I've lost almost 90 pounds and I'm still a big gal and my goal weight is pretty high compared to most (190). I've been told that I'm intimidating. I'm 5'8 and very few people believed me when I told them what I weighed before.

Even with WLS, I still have to be sure I meet my Water and Protein goals and I still have to exercise daily. I'm really stepping it up right now because I've been stalled for over a month on the scale. The workouts are paying off, though, in body shaping and endurance ability. I feel like I'm working just as hard as anyone who has ever lost weight without WLS. The difference is that WLS ensures that I won't regain the weight once I get to goal and maintenance.

[atkinsoncl 62]

I'm so glad I'm not alone. I have hardly told anyone about my surgery because I know how their reactions are going to be. I don't need their reactions. I am 100% confident in my decision so I don't need someone putting it down. This is definately not the easy way out and it's "MY" decision. It's a tool to help get us to goal and maintain. I have done so much yoyo dieting. I once lost 100 pounds on Weight Watchers. Felt great, loved seeing people because I was thin. But then it crept back on. Now, I would hate to see those people again because of the weight I put on. I know my name would be the center of attention.

My immediate family knows and a friend, that's it. Even my husband, he's supportive, but thinks it's a drastic measure for me to take. He tells me how well I've done on Weight Watchers and I should just go back and stick to it. Well, if it were that easy, I wouldn't be in this situation.

If people ask about my weight loss, I don't know what I'm going to tell them. Some I may tell, other's I may just tell them that I am doing a restrictive high Protein, low calorie diet. It's not a lie...I just didn't get into details.

Like Inline6E46 said, this site is great for support!! Good luck!

[suzcomptime 17]

My husband doesn't agree with it but I believe will be there for me (even though he thinks I should just go back to the methods I have tried countless times that only helped temporarily and had limited success....WW, Atkins, nutrisystem, TOPS, South Beach).

My office people know because another lady at work has just had surgery and another lady at work was a support person for a good friend who had bypass a couple years ago. Some people at work kind of cringe about it, it sounds scary to them I'm sure. I guess I might have felt the same way a few years ago.

My adult children had a fit when I was considering lapbad so I don't talk to them about it anymore. I've since decide to go with the sleeve so I am sure they would not be happy. Usually they are very supportive but I had an aunt have complications 6 years ago and so they remember that and their reaction is based on fear and not wanting anything to happen to me.

I have told my aunt who has had gastric surgery but I have not told my other relatives although I will after the fact.

~Sue

[Ssilian 67]

I'm going to tell everyone that I'm exercising and practicing Portion Control. Both are the truth. I'm over it -- hearing people's opinions. But I've noticed mor and more commercials on TV about WLS so soon enough it'll become more common and more accepted.

[Suzannesh 376]

I'm so tired of everyone telling me that if I just exercised more and ate less I'd lose weight!!! If it were that simple I'd do it!! I work from home and sit at a desk for 9 hours a day...I try to clean on my breaks and relax a bit after work. I have worked out at the gym and done slim fast/south beach (at different times) and I barely lost any weight! And then when I got disgusted and quit I would shove my face in self pity!

I ate pizza tonight oh how I love pizza which is the worst thing I've eaten since seeing my nutritionist. If I didn't eat it I know I would be craving it more and eating more crap!

I have gone to therapy and talked to my shrink about my weight...yeah it's a pain to be fat and it's not like with my giant boobs I can run...

People tell me I should start walking which I can and do and then start interval jogging/running. Yeah if I didn't have DDD boobs slamming around I would.

I was also told that heredity has nothing to do with my weight and it's an excuse I use!

How hurtful! I am just not telling anyone any more that I'm getting a sleeve. I don't feel like I need to be ridiculed even more!!!

If I didn't care I wouldn't be going to a nutritionist and I wouldn't be having surgery...

Hi,

I learned the hard way. I figured out that no one was ever going to understand why I was having WLS. Some may feel jealous that you are having it, so they put you down. If diet and exercise worked for EVERYONE we would NOT have any fat people in this world.

You have a disease and it is called obesity. You need surgery to correct this. And you are doing all the right things. I know you are trying to be honest and share what you are doing. Wait until after you have had the surgery and have lost some weight and they see you are alive, well and healthy then tell them about what you have done.

This is ALL about YOU and NO ONE else. You do not owe them an explanation. Do what is going to be the best thing for YOU and NO one Else.

You have the support of so many people here on this board. We know where you are coming from, we have had the same feelings.

Hang in there and know that we support you and understand you.

Hugs,

Suzanne

[Mews 37]

I've been lucky in that almost everyone I told has been incredibly supportive of my decision. The only person who was against the procedure was my father-in-law in that he was worried about the risks.

It really is a personal decision on whether or not you tell people. I'm incredibly open and tell people because I believe the more people know the better the person they can become. I don't let the downers get to me. If someone said "oh you're taking the easy way out" I would respond that "ya, getting 80% of my stomach removed and not being able to eat a 'normal' meal for the rest of my life is the easy way out. Usually that shuts them up. If not, I just ignore them.

Hang in there.

[notime 340]

I have told only 4 people, close family members. It's no one else's business. I'm presurgery and when I start losing and people ask me how I'm doing it I will tell them it is diet and exercise.

[LadyL 7]

I have had mixed responses from close friends and family in particular. I recognize the concern people have out of love but I also recognize what is important to me, so choose to focus on staying healthy and this is a big step in that direction!

I have been selective about the discussion of WLS, partly because of the judgement factor and the fact that people love to talk. My surgery is coming up in a few days so I do not plan on disclosing any further--they can watch the transformation for themselves!

The best is yet to come!

L

[slim46 25]

I'm so tired of everyone telling me that if I just exercised more and ate less I'd lose weight!!! If it were that simple I'd do it!! I work from home and sit at a desk for 9 hours a day...I try to clean on my breaks and relax a bit after work. I have worked out at the gym and done slim fast/south beach (at different times) and I barely lost any weight! And then when I got disgusted and quit I would shove my face in self pity!

I ate pizza tonight oh how I love pizza which is the worst thing I've eaten since seeing my nutritionist. If I didn't eat it I know I would be craving it more and eating more crap!

I have gone to therapy and talked to my shrink about my weight...yeah it's a pain to be fat and it's not like with my giant boobs I can run...

People tell me I should start walking which I can and do and then start interval jogging/running. Yeah if I didn't have DDD boobs slamming around I would.

I was also told that heredity has nothing to do with my weight and it's an excuse I use!

How hurtful! I am just not telling anyone any more that I'm getting a sleeve. I don't feel like I need to be ridiculed even more!!!

If I didn't care I wouldn't be going to a nutritionist and I wouldn't be having surgery...

Good for you! Do it for yourself.....one step at a time..

I haven't told anyone, not even my closest friend. She had the bypass and watches everything I eat..critics everything I eat..my weight.

I've been told lots of times, to exercise, watch what I eat n lose weight... But it doesn't work...

So, I know exactly what ur talkn about....

I'm excited for u !!!

[Suzannesh 376]

Hi,

I will say that 99% of my close family was very supportive of me having WLS. But not all my friends. So I chose the people who were close to me and told them and educated some about what "sleeve surgery" was so they understood it was safe and going to work. I even educated my own PCP who was 100% for me having the surgery and even in Mexico--she checked out the doctor in Mexico for me and said he heard nothing but rave reviews of his work. I had already been checking out the doctor for 6 months before I went to see my PCP.

Pick and chose who you want to tell. Remember some people will try to sabotage you because they want you to remain fat with them. Remember this is always about YOU and NO one else.

Hugs,

Suzanne