Mimi77's (Very Long) Intro/ Journey

[Mimi77 6]

Hi everyone I've been hanging around here for months and am just now getting around to posting this VERY long intro I wrote back in January. I'm happy to report that I have lost over 50 pounds on my "6 month diet" and am being sleeved April 4th. This site is so fabulous and filled with many brave and wonderful people- all fighting the same battles. You've given so much of yourselves and I am ever so grateful! Writing this was emotionally difficult for me and posting it sure isn't easy, but I want to do my part to help the next person down the line if I can. I didn't mean to write War and Peace II, but here goes nothin'! -Mimi

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What am I so afraid of on the interwebs??? Ughh.

My WLS Journey Intro

(If someone had told me even 7 months ago that I would be posting on an online forum AT ALL, much less baring it all about my weight issues- I would have thought they were absolutely nuts! I have always been extremely private but lately I have been trying to let go of anything that might hold me back on this journey- including my own personal hang-ups...Here goes!)

Well I have been putting off writing this for some time but since I plan on mailing my packet of info to my surgeon on the 25th (which will effectively get the ball rolling on the insurance approval process), I figured I may as well introduce myself to this community. I am Mimi- 34 years old and somehow I allowed myself grow to 307 pounds by Summer 2011. I am 5”6. My parents and siblings are pretty much all within normal weight ranges and I am definitely the anomaly in my family (including cousins, etc.) as far as weight is concerned. I never felt my family was ashamed of me but almost all have expressed loving concern over my size/health over the years. It embarrassed me to pieces and I knew they were right to be worried!

I have never been thin that I can recall. I remember thinking I was fat when I was in first grade (having a string-bean older sister who gave me HELL about my weight did not help!) Looking back at pics and speaking with my mom I can say that I was probably within a normal weight range until I was about 10 or 11. In high school I hit 180 by age 16 before learning how to eat healthy and then dieting away 40 pounds or so. Fast forward through college, then marriage, more college, law school and grad school and I probably lost and re-gained the same 40 pounds ten times over and then some! In 2005, weighing in around 260, I tried to get approved for lap band surgery through BCBS with no luck. I think I was so discouraged about the bad news that I kind of gave up.

After years of moving and traveling for work and school, my husband and I permanently settled down in our home state of MS in early 2010. The economy was awful and I had a hard time finding a job. At that point in my life, it wasn’t even about money anymore but finding work that I was passionate about. By the time God answered my prayers with a job I love in January 2011, my weight had spiraled to about 290. I took 3 months off over the summer to sit for the MS Bar Exam and, when that nightmare was over, had ballooned up to 307.

Although I had been hypertensive, had high cholesterol and sleep apnea for years, it was the “Great Weight Surge of Summer ‘11” that put my body over the edge. My knees were killing me, I could hardly shop anymore because I was so heavy and I just felt my health going down the drain. This was not subtle. It was like my body was screaming at me, “No more!” Laying in bed one night, down on myself about my weight and hurting in my knees and back, I decided to put an end to the weight roller-coaster and commit to having WLS. And I committed to not letting ANYTHING get in my way- other’s opinions, money, insurance approval, etc. The VSG was an easy choice. I’ve always enjoyed most healthy foods but just ate way too much. I don’t do much fast or fried food and love to cook and try new things. I am just a straight-up binge eater with major portion-control issues. I need restriction.

I briefly considered paying cash for the surgery to avoid the 6 month MSWLP my BCBS of IL requires but, since I was going to be starting a new role at my job, I decided to use that time to adjust to my new work life and get my head around my health and eating issues. I didn’t want to deal with a new job and a new stomach all at once. Best decision I ever made! I have really enjoyed the past (almost) 6 months. I have done more soul-searching, issue-facing and “getting real” with myself than I could have imagined possible. I have been a baggage-shedding fool! I credit this to the nurse practitioner overseeing my weigh-ins.

When I went for my first visit, I told her that I didn’t really need to lose any weight over the coming months but mainly needed to show a commitment to showing up for the visits, etc. She looked me straight in the eye, told me not to kid myself- that I most certainly *did* need to lose weight and asked me why I would want to do something as drastic as surgery without at least trying to get a head start on the weight loss and healthy habits? She got my attention. She also got my cell phone number and started checking in on me and sending motivating texts.

Today, I am proud to call her my friend, and in many ways, my life-saver. Since I started WW in August (for the 50th time!) I have gone from 307 to ~275. My goal is to be at 250 by my surgery date (hoping for early March). I’ve had a couple of folks ask why I’d want WLS when I’m doing so well losing weight “on my own.” I tell them all that it is only *because* I’m having WLS that I’m doing so well now. I know help is on the way! My husband, friends, family, and co-workers, are all behind me in this decision. My mother is the only one who does not see this surgery as a good idea for me. She is generally supportive of me so I think she is just truly concerned about the thought of surgery and my quality of life afterwards. She is also small.

Looking back, I can see where, as I dealt with this practically life-long battle, God was giving me tools along the way in the form of the people He put in my life. I am so thankful for my wonderful support network and newfound perspective on my health. This is the year I put my health ahead of anything else. I feel like this is the year to start worrying about myself as much as I have others for my entire life.

I welcome any prayers as I get through the approval process and prepare for my surgery. I’m excited, nervous and ever so grateful for the information I have learned from all of you. Maybe one day I can share something that will help someone else.

Happy 2012, friends!

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[ButterflyGirl 4]

Congratulations on getting this far on this journey!!! You'll do great and will love your new sleeve! Welcome to the family!!!

[Jen K 20]

Welcome and thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to following your journey.

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

Mimmi - with your determination and committment to your improved health, I am sure you will be successful with your surgery. I think you are doing 100% the right thing by losing weight, changing behaviors, shedding baggage, and "GETTING YOUR HEAD RIGHT" before your surgery. There is a book I recommend - it is the "The Success Habits of Weight-Loss Surgery Patients" by Colleen M. Cook. It is available in hard copy or via Kindle. I took a six week class based on the book, and was so impressed with the insights I got from the program. Even though the book is more bypass and band specific with the examples, the habits apply to all types of WLS.

Good luck with your journey. Feel free to message me if you ever want to ask me any questions.

Sharon

[Mimi77 6]

Thank you for the kind words, Butterfly, Jen and Sharon! I'm excited to be a part of this family and can't wait to get to the losers bench. I am on day 3 of 2 weeks of Clear liquids now. I actually made it to day 10 earlier in the month and my surgeon's schedule changed and so did my date! Had to go back to eating on the 8th and restarted liquids on the 21st. Fun times!

Sharon- I will have to look into getting that book on Kindle/iPad. I'm bad about collecting e-books and then not reading them or finishing them, though. Between long work hours and a big commute I don't have much free time these days. But I do know I have a few days off starting 4/4 so maybe I could read it then

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[VJSlim 156]

Mimi - Welcome and Congrats on making a life changing decision! Hope you have a safe surgery and speedy recovery! All the best!

[Carly 56]

Hi Mimi,

Such an excellent introduction. I feel as if I know you, and truth be told, maybe there is something of me in your writing. Heck, I believe Thoreau, so many of us are living quietly desperate lives in our own ways. I hope everything works out for you and the surgery. I am to be going next week. Best wishes and welcome!

[Cmullinvegas 39]

All I can say is wow, thanks for sharing. I feel empowered after reading this and ready for my sleeve March 29.

[emily_0192010 168]

Thank you so much for sharing When I was reading your post I love that your NP was so supportive! All of us need support, from our family and friends but also outside support. I get that outside support from here. Even the people at my surgeon's office are a bit too "professional" and distant to really feel like I could go to them for advice. I think having a person like this in your life is amazing and I'm so happy that you have that!

I feel exactly the same as you, in that the weight loss before surgery is only because of the surgery. Before I was sleeved (and really I still think this way) and I was asked why I would use this metaphor. If I was shipwrecked in the middle of the ocean, I could keep myself afloat for awhile, but I would never go anywhere. I would be stuck. My sleeve is like a life-vest... it keeps me floating while I swim. My support group is my compass... they tell me which way to swim. All the sleeve is is a tool. It keeps up floating while we do the work to get to our goal. I lost forty pounds pre-sleeve, and in my head the entire time was "i actually get to keep it off this time because my sleeve will be right there with me".

BEST decision I ever made. It has changed my life and I can't wait to keep up with your journey and how it will help you. Congrats on the 50 lbs, I know how much work that takes! We all do!

[Mimi77 6]

Mimi - Welcome and Congrats on making a life changing decision! Hope you have a safe surgery and speedy recovery! All the best!

Thanks, VJ! I really have a good feeling that I'm going to be okay. I appreciate the well-wishes

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[Mimi77 6]

Hi Mimi' date='

Such an excellent introduction. I feel as if I know you, and truth be told, maybe there is something of me in your writing. Heck, I believe Thoreau, so many of us are living quietly desperate lives in our own ways. I hope everything works out for you and the surgery. I am to be going next week. Best wishes and welcome![/quote']

Thank you, Carly! It's so weird about not wanting to reveal too much of myself, because It's not like my life is so special and top-secret. Just coming to terms with my "realities" (even with myself) has been tough, but if anything I've written helped you or another in any way then it was worth it. I feel like I've been struggling uphill through mud the last couple months in dealing with the head stuff. I don't do "vulnerable" well so its just been a crazy time. On a brighter note, I can tell that I'm FINALLY getting to the excited "let's do this!" phase and Praise God!!! I'm generally an upbeat person so it is awesome to feel so happy and hopeful now

We will be within a week of each other- does that make us sleeve "cousins" or something? I'm still not up on all the sleever relationships Best of luck! - Mimi

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[Mimi77 6]

All I can say is wow' date=' thanks for sharing. I feel empowered after reading this and ready for my sleeve March 29.[/quote']

Thank you so much for your kind words. They make me so glad I bit the bullet and posted! You will be a week ahead of me and I wish you the very best of luck! I hope you keep the momentum and stay excited- that will leave less room for the nerves to creep in

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[Mimi77 6]

Thank you so much for sharing When I was reading your post I love that your NP was so supportive! All of us need support' date=' from our family and friends but also outside support. I get that outside support from here. Even the people at my surgeon's office are a bit too "professional" and distant to really feel like I could go to them for advice. I think having a person like this in your life is amazing and I'm so happy that you have that!

I feel exactly the same as you, in that the weight loss before surgery is only because of the surgery. Before I was sleeved (and really I still think this way) and I was asked why I would use this metaphor. If I was shipwrecked in the middle of the ocean, I could keep myself afloat for awhile, but I would never go anywhere. I would be stuck. My sleeve is like a life-vest... it keeps me floating while I swim. My support group is my compass... they tell me which way to swim. All the sleeve is is a tool. It keeps up floating while we do the work to get to our goal. I lost forty pounds pre-sleeve, and in my head the entire time was "i actually get to keep it off this time because my sleeve will be right there with me".

BEST decision I ever made. It has changed my life and I can't wait to keep up with your journey and how it will help you. Congrats on the 50 lbs, I know how much work that takes! We all do![/quote']

Thanks, Emily! The awesome thing about Martha (my NP friend) is that she is a total health nut and generally not a big proponent of WLS yet she was able to recognize my commitment to the sleeve and encourage me nonetheless. I believe she still thinks I could reach goal without the surgery. I have reminded her that she has only known me on *this* weight loss chapter, that I've always been a good dieter but just cannot keep it off. If only she'd known me longer and seen me recycle weight at the rate I have in the past...

I'm so thankful we have this community as a resource of support. As much as I love my surgeon and his staff, I know I will still find most of the info I need right here from my fellow sleevers. It's nice to discuss our issues with people who "get it" and don't require a full tutorial on our new anatomy!

Oh-I love your life vest analogy and shared it with my husband. We live on a big lake and boat all the time so it is really appropriate for me I will probably be using it if I get asked about this again! And, like you, every time I step on the scale I think "Well, this is probably the last time I'll see this number!" Woo-hoo!!! I cannot wait to refer to the sleeve as the "BEST decision I ever made."

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[Carly 56]

Hey Mimi,

I would love to have a sleeve cousin! I know what you mean about realities. Every time I go to the city where I grew up, I feel like I am hiding from anyone who knew me, or making excuses for not going somewhere I might be recognized, and the "gosh, she has changed!" look comes over their faces. I am tired of feeling disappointed in myself. Hopefully, things will be brighter soon! Best to you, and keep in touch.