Want To Quit My Doctor

[AliveAgain 283]

As some of you may know,Protein, staying below 40g carbs, and exercising every day -- then I had some crappy stuff happen and I got knocked off my horse for a few weeks. But for the last 4-5 days, I'm bouncing back and starting to lose again. Then today, I had my follow up with my surgeon and it was awful. I expected him to be upset and he was. Granted their scale showed me about 3lbs heavier than I was at home this morning (and that's with the 2lbs they take off for clothes). Last time it was 3lbs. smaller -- but who cares? I'm only paying attention to my scale anyhow. I've only lost 6.5lbs in the last 21days. But the last two have been in just the past few days. I told my doctor about everything that happened, and he once again accused me of cheating.

He tells me that whether or not I exercise, I should still be losing 4-5lbs per week. I disagree. I showed him my food diary (MFP on phone) and how I'm averaging 550-600 calories per day, and was as low as 430 during the week I was too nauseous to eat. He told me I should aim for 600 calories per day, and I told him how his nurse and nutritionist both told me to go down to 400 when I wasn't exercising. I found it nearly impossible to hit my Protein intake during that time, which he says is a lie. He told me that "with how I'm doing" I'm most likely going to max out at losing only a total of 50-60 pounds. I've already lost 42. WTH? I really do not get along with him and he tends to throw out numbers at me and tells me that he doesn't think I'm journaling everything I eat. He has NO IDEA how f****** diligent I am with my diary. I read on here how some doctors allow things like refried Beans, Peanut Butter, mashed potatoes, oatmeal, etc. but I keep to his diet strictly. It's a rotation of greek yogurt, cottage cheese, protein drinks/shakes, white meat chicken, shrimp, scallops, and tofu. I can't do much cheese because of one of my other ongoing problems, and if I squeeze in a floret or two of broccoli or a spear of asparagus I feel like I cheater.

I will agree that I want to work more at hitting my protein goals. Now that I'm feeling better, I know that will happen. But what happened to compassion? What happened to, "Wow. That sounds like a rough month. Let's see what we can do to get you back on track." No, I get, "You need to come clean and look in the mirror and see what you're doing wrong, what you're allowing to go in your mouth that you shouldn't." When I mention that my gyno may be considering surgery for my ovarian cyst problem, he was against it. His words, "Not many doctors know how to deal with fat patients on their table." I'm sorry, I know I'm obese but I find the word "fat" to be a bit insulting with the tone he used. I just don't like the word, since it's usually said with hate and it's not as clinical as "obese."

Thank goodness I have no more scheduled visits with him anytime soon. I'm forever grateful that he did a wonderful job with my surgery. He is obviously skilled in that area. But when it comes to making a person feel human, feel worthwhile, and not feel like a complete failure -- he needs a lot of work. I already knew the loss was bad, I knew I had a rough time with my stall. I've been beating myself up mentally for the past three weeks. I'm not looking for a friend or a hug, but f*** him if I'm going to let him call me a cheater ever again. God complex anyone?

[former_vbg 198]

Honestly, I wouldn't go back to him- period. I don't know that you will find another WL Dr. to go to unless you are having any issues which doesn't sound like will be necessary. I had surgery out of state and while my doc was a skilled surgeon- he ABSOLUTELY SUCKED at bedside manner and couldn't give a rats @ss about how his patients do afterwards. I heard a lot of lip service, but it was all about the money honey. I haven't seen him since I had my drain out a few days after surgery. I see my PCP for my follow up and it was worked out BEAUTIFULLY! He is encouraging and yet still challenges me to reach my final goal which I am now very close to.

My suggestion would be to go see your PCP and ask him if he would be willing to see you for your follow ups. I go in every 3 months, but that has more to do with getting my depo shot on that routine. You can do whatever follow ups you want. By going in every 3 months, he sort of suggests a new goal for that time frame and because he is so encouraging I have always worked hard to even exceed it and I have every time!

Good luck to you! Dump that doctor- you don't need him anymore!

[2bsmallagain 156]

All I can say is WOW. You have more patients than I do.

[Lissa 2,631]

Your doctor is an ass. I'd find someone else to do my follow-ups. The board probably won't print butt in the first sentence.

[Amanda 3.0 140]

Have you told him that his attitude makes you want to not come to see him? I am sure he hears it all, but really, you are doing what you are supposed to be doing.

Perhaps call and ask if he can transfer you as a patient and see if he is willing to change his ways. It would be a shame to burn the bridge though, in case you need him in the future.

[2bsmallagain 156]

He probably does not care what she thinks about his attitude he already got paid for the surgery.

[BeautyVGSJourney 99]

wow, that is horrible. I would encourage you to actually say his name here to actually warn others. I would not stand for that crap, definetly a God complex! he probably thinks we are fat because we lie to ourselves and all we eat is crap all the time, while is true that does happen sometimes only other obese people can every trutly understand what it is all about. I would definitly fire him (I would actually just not make a follow up appointment with him and try to find another gastroenterologist instead of surgeon, some are also surgeons but some see patients just for check ups, look into it it would not hurt) I agree with not burning bridges, but I would definetly look for alternatives. Good luck!

[IowaAndy 95]

I agree that your current surgeon sounds like a reald a##. But before you cut your ties with him make sure that there is another doctor that is willing to take over your care should problems arise. I had my lapband done by a surgeon where I live and when I decided to have the sleeve my insurance denied me and I went to Mexico as I could not afford the $40,000 that it would have cost me here in the US. When I got back I called the surgeon and his office told me that he would not longer see me as a patient and that I was not welcome to attend the support group that they have.

I have since done all of my follow up with my PCP. I have not found another gastric surgeon that will take me but I would make sure that you have a doctor before cutting the cord. I know that if you go to the ER and have an emergency someone will have to care for you as they can not refuse.

I just do not want to see you out in the cold without a doctor.

[Meli01 53]

Now I'm curious who your surgeron is, I just noticed we are in the same area and there are only a few of them around here. I don't think it's mine because he has been great, but my friend had another local surgeon and he hated him.

I really hope you find a Dr. who is more supportive! =)

[2bsmallagain 156]

I agree I would expose him for the ass he is.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Do you have an ombudsman or patient rep that can help you mediate or find a new doc?

[Amanda 3.0 140]

He probably does not care what she thinks about his attitude he already got paid for the surgery.

Maybe he doesn't care what she thinks, but all it takes is one person to hear about it and that is less money in his pocket. You are probably right, but if she doesn't at least try then she will likely be without a surgeon. And I do think she should out him on here if he can't be decent to his patients.

As if this isn't hard enough, without rude doctors!

[2bsmallagain 156]

Maybe he doesn't care what she thinks, but all it takes is one person to hear about it and that is less money in his pocket. You are probably right, but if she doesn't at least try then she will likely be without a surgeon. And I do think she should out him on here if he can't be decent to his patients.

As if this isn't hard enough, without rude doctors!

I agree she should out him because of his attitude but I do think it will do any good to talk to him about his attitude because he obviously does not care about people. This cannot be the firs time he has acted this way. He knows he can get away with it so he continues it. The best way is to try and deter people from using him in the first place.

[FluffyBleu76 32]

I remember when my mom had her open heart surgery in 2001. She was admitted through the ER and the attending cardiac surgeon had the WORST bedside manner! It was so bad, my mom said she would take her chances and wait for another surgeon to do it (mind you, she was in the ER so it was pretty bad)!!! To make a long story short, she had complications and the surgeon with the attitude from hell had to come in to do the surgery while she was under anesthesia. This man's hands were blessed by God! She had only a 50% of coming out alive, only 45% of her heart was functioning at the time and we were told she would be lucky to get a few more years (she lived until 2010)- most surgeons wouldn't touch her! After the surgery, he was still cold in his demeanor and when my mom was up and alert, he was sooooooo negative (but he sure loved to point out and look at well he sutured her chest). In short, of course physicians should be kind in dealing with their patients but there is a saying in the medical community: "Doctors treat diseases and nurses treat patients." Your business is just about done with this man and as long as you have a support system and you are healing well, leave him to his own devices. You are doing great and it's natural to have up's and down's. Just pay attention to how your clothes fit and your overall wellness.

[Indymom 132]

I would write a very pointed letter to him, outlining all the concerns you've had with his bedside manner. I would also encourage you to write a review of him if you have access to any of the sites that allow for medical provider reviews (for example, many BC/BS plans have the Zagat rating tool available for their providers). Angie's List also allows you to review medical providers.

No bariatric surgeon should EVER use the word fat. Period.