Feeling Overwhelmed W/ Compliments, Wha?

[Nichelle 21]

Hello, I just wanted to say thank you real quick to everyone on here. I don't post a lot, but I do read these forums often. So thank you to all those who are willing to share their stories. I wanted to ask how some of you that are further along in your journey take all the new attention and amounts of compliments you get after your obvious, drastic change in your look. Here is the small, but very real problem I am having and don't know how to deal. To some I know I will sound obnoxious, but I really don't know how to take the attention. I don't want to sound like a snot or stuck up. I do know that at some point we all deal with this maybe more so than others or simply others may know how to handle it better. Either way I just want to ask for help without being judged and I know this is the right place to do it. My friends just don't understand.

I do appreciate the attention, but it has become WOW! It is almost everytime I turn around I am being reminded of how much weight I have lost or how great I look or what my big secret to weight loss is or the over the top dirty remarks about my new body which includes a new butt which is what I have been told.How do you deal with this new attention? I have always been bigger, even through highschool and never been overly outgoing. I wouldn't consider myself shy; however taking a compliment is a bigger thing than I imagined. So much so it has caused me stress at work. I won't lie I do work at a bar and understand that this is a place than one can be put on the spot for attention. Most of the time I smile, say thank you or answer some of what seems at times nosey questions and try and move on. Yet, there are those that want to continue even after I have assured them that I have a fiancee and am happily in a committed relationship. Sometimes, its not just the guys. Its all of it combined when in a single day at work I have talked to dozens of people that by the way I have seen or even served before that all of a sudden what to talk to me. Like I was invisible or not important before, because I am of what seems normal weight all of sudden they want to be my friend and I can't help how I feel when I think they are jerks for just now realizing I am a good human being. I am the same person on the inside as I was 11 months ago, maybe happier and that's why more people actually want to talk to me, but tell me how do you all deal with the new amount of attention you have been given.

Thanks for listening!

[minaleigh 95]

First off, I just wanted to say that by looking at your signature, you and I are practically twins when it comes to stats. I'm 22 so we're similar in age, we're both 5'7" and both started at 273. Hello my dear twin!

While I'm not farther along, I do know what it's like to not know how to respond to compliments. Sure, we've all gotten the backhanded compliments such as, "you're not that fat" or "but you have such a pretty face." I didn't know how to react to those either, mainly because I found them rude even if the person meant well. Lately, I've been trying to impress one of my guy friends who always paid attention to my other friend more than me, since she was "the hot one" between the two of us. He actually paid more attention to me about a month post-op, even flirting with me, so that was all around weird. I've been overweight since I was 9, so I'm really socially awkward and don't know how to take compliments well.

I've noticed that I really only get compliments from my close friends or my parents. I usually brush them off, because even they say I look so different and better, I'm still obese. It makes me wonder just how bad I looked before. If I'm still fat, and they say I look so much better, how horrible was I pre-op? I don't consider myself a negative person generally, but when you're not used to compliments, it can make you start to feel weird.

I'm sure the people, besides maybe the lechers , who pay you kind words just mean well. I hope things go better for you at work so you don't have to stress so much about it. I don't think you sound stuck-up just because you're experiencing compliment overload.

Btw, grats on the weight loss thus far! Since we do have the same stats, I hope to be as far along as you when I get to 10 months post-op. Keep up the good work! Stay strong.

[Aussiegirl 580]

I hear ya girls!

Since hitting a 100 pounds lost and being the smallest I remember being in over 20 years (yea cant believe I am old enough to say that), suddenly everyone is telling me how well I am doing and are literally stopping me in my tracks asking whether I am loosing weight and how and keep up the good work.

We had a work party last Friday which was a big dress up event, so obviously I was dressed up, hair and make up done, and all night I got complimented, which I graciously accepted. However with a few people (and after a few drinks) they decide to also make comments about how I have tried to loose weight before (badly apparently) and hadnt cared about how I looked (not really true but it must have been what I was putting out). And then comes the lecture (as I am still overweight) about keeping going and not giving up. I really dont want to have a heart to heart with everyone who decides to say something about how much this is not just a surgery but a process that I have been going through to change my life, relationship with food and loving myself.

I know that I have alot of people williing me on and wanting the best for me and I dont mean to sound ungrateful for that, but I still have ALOT of work to do....imagine what they will be saying at the end of this journey.

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

I'm more overwhelmed with the fact that all these new people I meet think I've always been slim....it's quite funny.

[gmanbat 5,889]

I have several things that subdue the gushing. One is that my roux n Y wife draws most of the attention, her loss is more dramatic than mine. Another thing is that people remember me before I blimped so they just think the old Gman is back. Some of them didn't think I was very fat anyway. My resting pulse drop of 30 beats per minute testifies otherwise.

[Nichelle 21]

Minaleigh: Hi stat twin, thank you for your response. Agreed the compliments now are better than thenot so beautiful compliments before. Yes, people will change the way they act around you unfortunately I believe we will soon just realize who true friends are. Keep up the good work your doing fabulous. Check out my blog if you like I have a pretty detailed sketch of my journey there.

Aussiegirl: Thanks for sharing and congratulations on 100lbs. That’s my very close next goal. I can relate to the comments I am getting about keep going, work hard you’ll get there. It’s like was it that bad. I know I am still over weight and yes I will keep going. I will battle with my food addiction for the rest of my life like most of us here. It’s funny how these people never said anything before now they seem to think they have all the answers and are willing to share them like I want to hear them after their pitty compliment. I don’t think either of us are ungrateful to hear that we are doing good and the motivation we are receiving it’s just like you want to tell that person thank you now let it be. I’ve been doing this on my own (or with whatever support, such as you great people) for the last …however long and I’ll keep doing it for me with or without that person. I’m so glad I have people that can relate.

BlackBerryJuice: I must admit with the body you have I would never have ever guessed it either. My skin underneath my shirt does not look as amazingly toned as yours. Although I know you have worked hard for the fantastic body you now have. Congratulations.

Gmanbat: Thank you for sharing. Your wife you said must be at the more receiving end than you, but that must be kind of hard to hear sometimes. When I’m with my fiancé I do just try to smile and thank you, but I can tell sometimes depending on the compliment he can be overwhelmed too. Its fine because you know how beautiful your wife is inside and out and as does mine.