I Want To Understand!

[Dooter 1,457]

I've been asked those questions too about how much weight I've lost. I also am christian and have a tight knit church group! When they ask me about my weight loss I tell them that I'm not concentrating on the pounds, that I'm keeping a positive focus on the "life change" and feeling "better" than the scale :-) I seem to get positive results from that line lol but I truly am trying to stay focused on that so I'm not lying...

That's a very good response! I'll keep that in my pocket.

[Amanda 3.0 140]

Also some people feel like if they know, they need to keep tabs on your progress or cheer you on or something. I am way too private for that! Just treat me like everyone else is all I ask.

Although if someone has questions about the surgery or may even want it themselves, I am happy to discuss it. But other than that, my weight loss is not a group effort!

[RossJL 25]

Also some people feel like if they know' date=' they need to keep tabs on your progress or cheer you on or something. I am way too private for that! Just treat me like everyone else is all I ask.

Although if someone has questions about the surgery or may even want it themselves, I am happy to discuss it. But other than that, my weight loss is not a group effort![/quote']

Agree! I have 4 people seriously considering it after watching me, I know they ask so many questions so that they can decide whether or not they are capable of doing it too... I always make the time to talk to the ones who want to consider it themselves!

[Meli01 53]

I've kept mine very private. Only close family and really close friends know about it. My co workers have no idea...which has been difficult!! They know I'm having surgery but that's it. For me, I think I main reason for keeping it as secretive as possible is because EVERYONE seems to have an opionion on it. I can't hear anymore opinions because at this point my minbd is more than made up and every negative opinion is just aggrevating or insulting. Also, I think being fat is something we all want to hide but we can't. At least for me it is. It is something I am terribly ashamed of and always have been. So when it comes to this surgery, talking about it is basically talking about me being fat and that is something I try and avoid. Hope this helps you to kind of understand it...I am proud of myself for making this decision that I know will save my life, but it's just a very personal thing.

This is exactly how I feel. Ive only told my mom and my best friend.

[RossJL 25]

Thank you everyone for all these great responses! I think it's GREAT that people can come here and see that a lot of other people share their feelings, concerns and struggles! Tons of people can relate to each of these responses and I'm really getting an insight to how everyone sees this through their eyes! I want to be a support not a judge.. Each of these responses will help me to understand it even better when others ask how this surgery can change your life! VSG is new to my town and tons of people are considering it and come to support groups! The best way to support is to understand! Not to mention that a big portion of my friends are overweight and I've had people call and ask me about the surgery that I haven't heard from in quite some time and I'm happy to be the go to person for an "example" of life after surgery!

[Jack Fabulous 35]

For many people their weight issues are very personal and emotional. When I told people at work that I was having surgery several of them tried to talk me out of it. They said I was taking the easy way out. I am not ashamed of what I did and I have no problems telling anyone.

Here is a blog about what my boss said. http://jfabulous43.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/taking-the-easy-way-out/

[2bsmallagain 156]

For many people their weight issues are very personal and emotional. When I told people at work that I was having surgery several of them tried to talk me out of it. They said I was taking the easy way out. I am not ashamed of what I did and I have no problems telling anyone.

Here is a blog about what my boss said. http://jfabulous43.w...e-easy-way-out/

Excuse me for saying this but your boss is an ASS. He obviously does not what it is really like to struggle with a weight problem. Most people especially women do not have time to go to the gym 4 times a week. He obviously gave you a review based on your weight and not just your job performance. He is a pig and you should find a new job! I am so sorry you had to go through that with your manager. He is not very professional because he is not supposed to be commenting on your personal life because it is frankly none of his business. What a jerk! This makes me so furious.

[RossJL 25]

For many people their weight issues are very personal and emotional. When I told people at work that I was having surgery several of them tried to talk me out of it. They said I was taking the easy way out. I am not ashamed of what I did and I have no problems telling anyone.

Here is a blog about what my boss said. http://jfabulous43.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/taking-the-easy-way-out/

Woah! I cannot believe he had the nerve to speak to you that way! Sounds like he thinks being perfect is being like "him" and it sounds to me like in between workout he needs to learn how to accept, understand and support those that are on him team! Thanks for sharing that!

[newme2b 5]

Re: not telling people about WLS. It's none of their business. End of story.

[Jack Fabulous 35]

Excuse me for saying this but your boss is an ASS. He obviously does not what it is really like to struggle with a weight problem. Most people especially women do not have time to go to the gym 4 times a week. He obviously gave you a review based on your weight and not just your job performance. He is a pig and you should find a new job! I am so sorry you had to go through that with your manager. He is not very professional because he is not supposed to be commenting on your personal life because it is frankly none of his business. What a jerk! This makes me so furious.

LMAO! Yes, it is a well established fact at work that he is in fact an ass and a jerk. We all know it. Thanks for your support.

[Sleeved&Hopeful 182]

It is such a personal choice. There are many reasons that some people don't want to tell everyone. We all have different people in our lives, different work places, different situations. Shouting it from the rooftops or only telling a few people, it is up to you! I think our own journeys are what we NEED them to be. I really don't think it matters how many people we tell. We are the ones who have to go to sleep and feel comfortable in our skin. No one else. I respect everyone's decision on who to tell and who not to tell. It's that easy :-)

[keyvocal 4]

I'm getting sleeved in the morning. Basically there are six people who know what's going on... The rest only know that I'm having a hernia fixed if they know anything at all.

My weight was never a topic of conversation among my friends (to my face at least).

I'm not going to be one of those people who talk nonstop about their weight or exercise program.

I didn't want to hear about someone's cousin's roommate who died from the surgery.

And above all else, I don't need the critical eye of every person I know focusing on my weight when they see me, wondering how much I've lost now, or if I'm losing fast enough or too fast.

I also don't want people to change their habits around me in some effort to seem compassionate or cognizant of my new "condition." I still want to be invited to parties and dinners and I certainly don't want anyone to adjust what they are ordering or eating out of some need to respect my inability to eat what they are.

It's not much different from my shrimp/crab/lobster allergy. You can order it, I can't have any, and it has to be kept away from my food, but I'm not going to ruin your meal because of my personal issue.

If someone genuinely wants to know, for instance to make a similar change in their own life, I will gladly tell them.

Everyone else? My standard response will be, "it's easy: expend more energy than you consume."

[KateMarie 15]

In the beginning, I only told a select few about my surgery. Now that I've lost 91.1 lbs people are really noticing and making comments. I've told more people that I've had surgery but I also add that it's only reduced my stomach size. I am still the one that decides what goes in my mouth.

My family, on the other hand, is embarrassed by my surgery. My brother and sister both created cover stories during my recovery time. That made me feel even worse.

This is a long tough journey. We don't have any reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. Be Proud.

Kate

[Lilee84 648]

The only person I refuse to tell is my sons father, and mostly because it's none of his GD business. Although I will admit, when he picked an argument with me a couple of weeks ago and was reduced to calling me a fat effing biatch, all I could do was smile and think to myself "Not for long sucker!" - Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person - they get backed into a corner and have to call names to feel good about themselves...

Most people at my work know about my surgery, all of my friends and family know, and I openly discuss it on my FB. I'm not ashamed, but if there's someone I didn't tell it's probably someone I don't care about anyway. I surround myself with people who love and support me and show everyone else the door. My feeling is that if there's someone in your life that doesn't support you, they're not worth your time. Nobody needs that kind of negativity in their lives.

[Mr-Smith 7]

There is a stigma some associate with WLS and you never really know how others will respond.