I Want To Understand!

[IowaAndy 95]

Some of our guilt may be that we have looked at others all these years.....and it has been over 40 years for me. I used to see other people who were thin and what a great life they had and how much fun they had and the love that they had in their lives.....husbands, wives, children and lots and lots of friends.

I remember the first time that I had real success with weight loss through weight watchers. I lost 85 pounds. Before this I did not have many friends and basically a non=existent social life. I went to work, came home, ate, went to bed and did it all over again the next day.

After I had lost the 85 pounds I had people trying to fix me up on dates like I had just dropped out of the sky. I was being invited to many occassions and out to events. WHY??????? Because I was thin and people were not ashamed of me any longer. Well.......did I go you ask????? NO!!!!!!! I was the same person that I was when I weighed 85 pounds more and if it took me losing weight to have people want to introduce me to others in their circles and think that now was the only time that I would be able to find someone to share my life.....it was not to be. I did gain new friendships and kept some of my old ones but I just did not like the way that people that I had known for many, many years were not treating me.

After that I regressed back and gained the weight back and they stopped inviting me again but I had made some very good friends in the meantime and they stood by me for many years to come. And over these years I weighed from 180 at my lowest to 375 at the most. They never treated me differently and always made me feel welcomed and cared for.

These are the friends that you want in your life and not those who want to be your friend for how you look, how much money you may have, what type of job you have or a million other things. They wanted to be my freinds because they liked ME!!!!!!!!!!!

But first it was a long journey for me as I had to learn to like myself. I have had many struggles over the years but I now know that I am the most important person that I know and I am worth fighting for. My friends are still my friends and still stand by me. I wish that people in the world were not a judgemental of those who do not fit their "NORMAL".

[RossJL 25]

Some of our guilt may be that we have looked at others all these years.....and it has been over 40 years for me. I used to see other people who were thin and what a great life they had and how much fun they had and the love that they had in their lives.....husbands' date=' wives, children and lots and lots of friends.

I remember the first time that I had real success with weight loss through weight watchers. I lost 85 pounds. Before this I did not have many friends and basically a non=existent social life. I went to work, came home, ate, went to bed and did it all over again the next day.

After I had lost the 85 pounds I had people trying to fix me up on dates like I had just dropped out of the sky. I was being invited to many occassions and out to events. WHY??????? Because I was thin and people were not ashamed of me any longer. Well.......did I go you ask????? NO!!!!!!! I was the same person that I was when I weighed 85 pounds more and if it took me losing weight to have people want to introduce me to others in their circles and think that now was the only time that I would be able to find someone to share my life.....it was not to be. I did gain new friendships and kept some of my old ones but I just did not like the way that people that I had known for many, many years were not treating me.

After that I regressed back and gained the weight back and they stopped inviting me again but I had made some very good friends in the meantime and they stood by me for many years to come. And over these years I weighed from 180 at my lowest to 375 at the most. They never treated me differently and always made me feel welcomed and cared for.

These are the friends that you want in your life and not those who want to be your friend for how you look, how much money you may have, what type of job you have or a million other things. They wanted to be my freinds because they liked ME!!!!!!!!!!!

But first it was a long journey for me as I had to learn to like myself. I have had many struggles over the years but I now know that I am the most important person that I know and I am worth fighting for. My friends are still my friends and still stand by me. I wish that people in the world were not a judgemental of those who do not fit their "NORMAL".[/quote']

Andy, I totally agree with the need for people to stop being so judgmental towards those they don't see as "normal". I make an honest effort to see each person as a "person". Not fat, skinny, short, tall, handicapped, healthy, ugly or beautiful! In some ways I contribute this to being overweight my whole life wishing people didn't look at me as the "fat girl", like that defined me as a person! As an adult I only surround myself with true friends and positive people ALL the time!

[RosieSweetie 40]

I think you lady's should be So proud! Undergoing surgery and making a huge commitment to change the rest of your life is Not the easy way out! In my opinion if someone said that it was the easy way out I would assume that it was a case of jealousy. Be proud! Be so proud! Be proud that you mean enough to yourself that you were willing to go under the knife voluntarily to make yourself a better future :-)

I have been very open with my friends/family/colleagues about my surgery and I have had way more people support me than not.. I think it was really important to me for them to know why I was having such a drastic change and I for sure wanted them to know that it wasn't something illegal lol :-)

You comments sound very judgemental to me. Work is work, home is home. When I have had ANY surgery, I did not feel "ashamed" if I did not tell people, like coworkers. I did not feel the need to make "announcements" or to feel "proud", either. Why would I need to announce my personal medical history to strangers? I certainly do not need "support" from strangers.

I am not a walking billboard for vsg. If I were a paid spokesperson, then if would be a different story. Most people know about the surgery. For those considering it, there are many resources- all of the surgeons in this area give free, informational seminars, and there are many discussions on the internet. I should not feel guilt or shame because I do not want to discuss my personal health. You should "live and let live."

Lastly, you did not say whether you had the surgery or not, but just give it some time. Some people who seem supportive now may not be when you are thinner than them. If you check out other VSG forums, you will see MANY people who have regretted their decision to tell- but then its to late.

[RossJL 25]

You comments sound very judgemental to me. Work is work' date=' home is home. When I have had ANY surgery, I did not feel "ashamed" if I did not tell people, like coworkers. I did not feel the need to make "announcements" or to feel "proud", either. Why would I need to announce my personal medical history to strangers? I certainly do not need "support" from strangers.

I am not a walking billboard for vsg. If I were a paid spokesperson, then if would be a different story. Most people know about the surgery. For those considering it, there are many resources- all of the surgeons in this area give free, informational seminars, and there are many discussions on the internet. I should not feel guilt or shame because I do not want to discuss my personal health. You should "live and let live."

Lastly, you did not say whether you had the surgery or not, but just give it some time. Some people who seem supportive now may not be when you are thinner than them. If you check out other VSG forums, you will see MANY people who have regretted their decision to tell- but then its to late.[/quote']

You are entitled to your opinion just as much as me! I don't mean to sound judgmental if that's how it's coming across! I did have the surgery, I said it was the best decision I ever made!

[renee5d 13]

There are many different reasons to keep it personal!

I chose to keep mine private, only telling my husband and best friend because my brothers 34 year old daughter died of malnutrition, three years after her gastric bypass. My mom, the queen of worry, blames the surgery, not my niece's nutritional habits. Because of this, I have chosen to keep it hidden. I didn't even tell my kids because I don't want them to be put in a position where they would have to lie to their grandma.

Trust me...this was a very difficult decision for me...normally I an a blabber mouth...always wanting to share my story. But I attend support group once a month in a city about two hours away and there, I am free to be open about it.

[bethany1987 66]

I've kept mine very private. Only close family and really close friends know about it. My co workers have no idea...which has been difficult!! They know I'm having surgery but that's it. For me, I think I main reason for keeping it as secretive as possible is because EVERYONE seems to have an opionion on it. I can't hear anymore opinions because at this point my minbd is more than made up and every negative opinion is just aggrevating or insulting. Also, I think being fat is something we all want to hide but we can't. At least for me it is. It is something I am terribly ashamed of and always have been. So when it comes to this surgery, talking about it is basically talking about me being fat and that is something I try and avoid. Hope this helps you to kind of understand it...I am proud of myself for making this decision that I know will save my life, but it's just a very personal thing.

[sallynew 18]

i hate those who talk from behind

im out of surgery now from 6 weeks i lost about 12 kg

i heard a woman talk about that i had a Lipo suction

why she said tha i dont know

if i have alipo suction i ll take of 50 kg of fat not just 10

ask me and i will tell you what i have done

it is not an easy way

we struggle alot pre operation

we have a major surgery

we could die under anasthsia

we have to take drugs

we have pain for weeks and discomfort

we have to keep our selves away from sugar, fat & carbohydrate

we carve to food but theres no room

we have to exerscise

we paid money

we had injections and alot if blood sampling

all these are not easy

sleeve alone does not make us losing weight

but we our selves struggle obesity

[RossJL 25]

There are many different reasons to keep it personal!

I chose to keep mine private' date=' only telling my husband and best friend because my brothers 34 year old daughter died of malnutrition, three years after her gastric bypass. My mom, the queen of worry, blames the surgery, not my niece's nutritional habits. Because of this, I have chosen to keep it hidden. I didn't even tell my kids because I don't want them to be put in a position where they would have to lie to their grandma.

Trust me...this was a very difficult decision for me...normally I an a blabber mouth...always wanting to share my story. But I attend support group once a month in a city about two hours away and there, I am free to be open about it.[/quote']

Wow! I totally understand that!

[sallynew 18]

another reason for me

that i told my manager

and now each single moment he see me

ho says( you still fat, when will you be skinny, why does it take all this time , you still fat, you seems eating alot, the surgery will not working for you)

he makes me disappointed and depressed

he think the surgery is amirecle

man

the surgery is alife style

[Amanda 3.0 140]

Different people want to handle it different ways. I didn't keep it a secret but I didn't broadcast it either. I really don't need everyone's two cents about my weight loss or the surgery. People tend to treat overweight folks with a little less respect and my weight loss is my own business. I don't discuss much of my personal business of any nature with the world, but then I am more private than most.

[sallynew 18]

lowaandy

you are totally right

[Dooter 1,457]

I belong to a very tight knit church family. A small congregation that cares a lot about each other. I am a Christian, but i have to say, Christians can be very judgmental. I did not share my surgery with everyone. Just A few close friends who would have felt robbed of the opportunity to pray for me, and of course my husband and mother...people like that. I did not want everyone's opinion going into this, and I did not want to be put under a microscope coming out- "how much weight have you lost? how much weight have you lost NOW? It doesn't seem to be working. What can you eat?" (My friend's husband is CONstantly asking me how much i've lost. OYE!)

Also, there are a lot of people around me that need the attention because they are sick or dying or have serious problems in their lives, and I do not want to funnel any attention or efforts away from them. I am healthy, I don't need all of that. I just wanted to do this...under the radar so to speak. But that said....when I start melting away, and people ask--I will probably tell them. For now though...I'm just feeling.....private about it. I like to stay unnoticed in dark corners. I don't like the limelight of center stage. That's just me.

[Dooter 1,457]

I've kept mine very private. Only close family and really close friends know about it. My co workers have no idea...which has been difficult!! They know I'm having surgery but that's it. For me, I think I main reason for keeping it as secretive as possible is because EVERYONE seems to have an opionion on it. I can't hear anymore opinions because at this point my minbd is more than made up and every negative opinion is just aggrevating or insulting. Also, I think being fat is something we all want to hide but we can't. At least for me it is. It is something I am terribly ashamed of and always have been. So when it comes to this surgery, talking about it is basically talking about me being fat and that is something I try and avoid. Hope this helps you to kind of understand it...I am proud of myself for making this decision that I know will save my life, but it's just a very personal thing.

Bethany, I love your 'stache!!! hahahaha

[RossJL 25]

I belong to a very tight knit church family. A small congregation that cares a lot about each other. I am a Christian' date=' but i have to say, Christians can be very judgmental. I did not share my surgery with everyone. Just A few close friends who would have felt robbed of the opportunity to pray for me, and of course my husband and mother...people like that. I did not want everyone's opinion going into this, and I did not want to be put under a microscope coming out- "how much weight have you lost? how much weight have you lost NOW? It doesn't seem to be working. What can you eat?" (My friend's husband is CONstantly asking me how much i've lost. OYE!)

Also, there are a lot of people around me that need the attention because they are sick or dying or have serious problems in their lives, and I do not want to funnel any attention or efforts away from them. I am healthy, I don't need all of that. I just wanted to do this...under the radar so to speak. But that said....when I start melting away, and people ask--I will probably tell them. For now though...I'm just feeling.....private about it. I like to stay unnoticed in dark corners. I don't like the limelight of center stage. That's just me.[/quote']

I've been asked those questions too about how much weight I've lost. I also am christian and have a tight knit church group! When they ask me about my weight loss I tell them that I'm not concentrating on the pounds, that I'm keeping a positive focus on the "life change" and feeling "better" than the scale :-) I seem to get positive results from that line lol but I truly am trying to stay focused on that so I'm not lying...

[Shells 40]

My parents, grandma, brother, cousin and best friend know. My bestie's roommate overheard our convo on the phone last year that I was thinking of this surgery and called me telling me that I shouldn't get it because there are too many complications and that I could die from malnutrition. I thanked her and told her she was right and I wouldn't get it. I learned quick to keep my mouth shut.

I am super proud of my decision and never been happier, yet this is my private decision and I don't want my extended family or coworkers to know because like others mentioned, at the end of the day it's not their business. Our surgery is a tool, and with that I have dedicated a future of healthy eating habits and daily physical activity which I will promote to the fullest. Don't get me wrong, I love discussing VSG, especially with our family here and youtube my progress. I attend Kaiser meetings and discuss how the sleeve has changed my life and if I can change someone's life for the better, awesome! However, not everyone will understand what we have gone through and will give me their opinion whether positive/negative I just don't want to hear it or be given a "look" like I took the easy way out. I am fully supportive of those who want to shout it from the top of their lungs that they had the sleeve, more power to them!

The only person who makes fun of me saying I took the easy way out is my protective brother and he does it jokingly with love cause he knows it drives me nuts lol! I've fainted twice, been dehydrated and exhausted before it all started getting better. This s--t is hard!