so upset and pissed

kimmason · August 6, 2006

hi. I just read this thread and wow..... Okay this mother daughter thing...it is not uncommon and I too faced it all of my life., I was big and tall and my mother is this perfect little blonde 130 lb woman who alwys watched what she ate and what i ate too. I left home early but every conevrsation she made involved, food, diet, etc, . I am five nine and when i was 20 i lost alot of weight and she then saw me trying on clothes and then told me I was too skinny!!!! Like make up your frigging mind will ya> I never said anything not until I hit 40 and I am now getting my band on thursday as I am way bigger now. I told her how it hurt etc..but I am a psych nurse and after reading various books the mother daughter connection is a funny thing. they think of us as an extension of themselves, and for some it is do as I say and not as i do, but I found it funny that my mom was an amazing cook and sewer and i stayed away from it and get stressed to the max when i cook for people, she had to be the best at those thing sand always ask, is it okay etc and have copmpliments all the time. in many ways I see as I got older that we are alike, but the weight thing is my issue and I am sure some of this comes from childhood stuff but now she lays off ( although i am sure she has an opinion) I went through areally tough time this last year and poke to my family like I never have before and finally on my bday this past july 4th, i thanked them for their presents and explained that I am having this surgery and that I have tried everything, that I have had problems my whole life and alhtogu my brother is not for it and has been quiet ever since, I know I have their respect and wil be there for me. Now Icall the shots with my life. and you my dear will too.

al the best love kim

DonnaB · August 6, 2006

Under a 1000 calories per day? That's really, really low - please be careful. You need to make sure you're gettin in enough Protein - as I lose more and more hair every day, I realize how important ALL the nutrient requirements are and I can't imagine that you're get enough at 500 - 1000 calories a day.

www.FitDay.com is a great site that offers a FREE food journal and a $20 downloadable food journal. The $20 journal works better and has been the best $20 investment I've EVER MADE IN MY LIFE. I wish I'd done a food journal before banding.

Good luck overcoming all obstacles - including your mother! - and on your weight loss journey.

Let me take a moment to say "Thank you Mom for not putting that kind of pressure on me, back then OR now!"

Marimaru · August 7, 2006

Mothers can be such pain.

Once you are able to move out, you'll be able to get her back off you about stuff a bit. But one thing that got my attention was that you already tried to move out and she had those strokes so you moved back. You need to be prepared with what you are going to do if something like that happens again. If you are strong enough (don't take that as an insult, because I'm not strong enough to say lots of things to my mother), you need to sit down with her and tell her "When I'm done with school, I'm moving out, and I need you to be prepared for that, because I'm staying out this time". You know?

Other than that, feel free to vent here if you need to

j_war06 · August 7, 2006

Under a 1000 calories per day? That's really, really low - please be careful. You need to make sure you're gettin in enough Protein - as I lose more and more hair every day, I realize how important ALL the nutrient requirements are and I can't imagine that you're get enough at 500 - 1000 calories a day.
www.FitDay.com is a great site that offers a FREE food journal and a $20 downloadable food journal. The $20 journal works better and has been the best $20 investment I've EVER MADE IN MY LIFE. I wish I'd done a food journal before banding.

Good luck overcoming all obstacles - including your mother! - and on your weight loss journey.

Let me take a moment to say "Thank you Mom for not putting that kind of pressure on me, back then OR now!"

I dunno how many cals shes supposed to have, but I have to have between 500-1000 calories to lose weight, if I go over or hit 1000 exactly I will not lose weight and may gain it. Ive been keeping track of my food, and find I cant even eat that much a day I have to make myself find something to atleast get to 500 calories sometimes, Im serious and Im full, Im not hungry except lunch and Supper time. Since I started REALLY counting my calories Ive lost about 8lbs (this past week) thats also with 64oz of Water per day. MY hair is not falling out, it was in January but I had an unfill and got everything back on track and now Im trying Really trying to lose the weight (especially since I have a job interview with Buckle next week! and gotta look like I can fit into their clothes) Im not crash dieting because Im not suffering. I have more energy than Ive had in months! I feel hydrated and my skin even feels good (from the water) and my band isnt hanging up nearly as bad! This works for me, I have a rare EXTREMELY slow metabolism and I dont workout other than everyday activities (which burn about 200-300 calories a day)so I have to eat to compensate that too. I like this, its only been a week and now Im seeing food almost as a chore because I have to stop and eat instead of just keeping on working on what Im working on, Im not planning my next meal while Im eating one meal. BTW, I use fitday.com EVERY SINGLE DAY to know the calories in items and how many calories I burn from everyday activities and stuff, the only thing I find wrong with it is it doesnt have that much food selection in it. I have to hand type almost everything I eat! So Im just using it to look up activities and some calories