Continued Waffling On Whether To Follow Thru With Surgery Or Not

[Mamamia59 11]

HI,

I just joined because I need some help to work thru all this. I am at 230lbs and have been overweight almost my entire adult life. I considder myself a huge "foodie" having worked in high end restaurants for over 20 years and just simply appreciating food as an adventure. I am not a junk food eater. I am having a hard time really understanding what life will be like a year from now. Will that whole part of my life be gone? Also, I was told by my doctor's group to stay away from the internet forums because I'll read scary things that the chances of them really happening are very low. I'm not sure what to make of that. I'd appreciate honest feedback as to the way lives have changes, any regrets, any things that have happened that were unexpected and such.

I have found that since I turned 50 (I'm 52 now), I have this internal focus that this is now MY time. Almost like a "when does my life get to start?" mentality. I really want to move forward but the doubts nag and nag. I have done everything I needed to do and am just waiting for my insurance to OK, which I am very confident they will. I could have the surgery in the next 6 weeks or so, which will go by fast. I don't want to let the fear take away what may very well be my only chance to have the life I want.

Thanks!

karen

[Aussiegirl 580]

Hi Karen,

I am also a Karen

I am sleeved (almost 5 and 1/2 months now, and as of this morning have lost 100 pounds). However that just puts me at the weight you are now.

Before surgery I considered myself a big foodie as well, and didnt really eat junk food, cept for when I was binging then it would be all the junk I could fit it. And then portions were always large. I was always going into this that this was a lifestyle change, a marathon, not a sprint. During the 5.5 months, I have not really dieted as we know it, followed the diet restrictions while recovering but other than I have not said i need to avoid any food. This has been my approach and it works for me, other have other ways of working their sleeve.

I feel lucky that I had an easy recovery, I was prepared to be in the 1% that would have complications, but maybe that preparation made the recovery feel almost too easy.

Every day I am glad I had the surgery, my life feels so much brighter now, I do more, I am fitter than I have been for years, I am injury free (which was a big one for me).

At the end of the day it is your choice and you will have to live with it...I wish you luck with your decisions.

Happy to answer any questions you may have.

Now I am able to enjoy most foods sensibly, portion sizes are tiny, but I still get to taste anything and everything. Alot of the foods considered bad for us make me feel quite ill (fried, high sugar foods).

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

hey mama

boy were your doctors right about people on the internet

after the first week, i woke up with a gigantic toad on my stomach

ok, ok - sorry karen, had to get that off my chest . it was really only a tadpole

Back to being serious, which is really hard for me .... you might see some bad stories, that are totally honest from fellow sleever that are enduring difficult problems..but that happens sometimes unfortunately. Mostly you'll see good sinncere happy thoughts from all.

font keeps changing sorry

my dos was 12/15/11 - and this board has been terrific. all people here are very nice, and ask any and all questions and you'll get good answers, like we all say though, we can only give "laymens" opinion, if you need more medical information, you should always ask your dr.

My totally main problem were with sweets, give me a sugar donut and i'll be your friend forever.

This surgery was terrific for me. I am very happy i had it. Really no complaints with recovery at all.

We all love to eat food on this site, thats why we came to have the sleeve to begin with.. I've lost weight before, you know, yoyo.. Weight would never stay off.

With the sleeve you eat small amounts, enabling you to lose weight, but with following the new ways of the sleeve, your journey will start successfully, you will become the new healthier and happier you. As many say, the sleeve is the tool we need to assist us in losing weight. We must work with it (the sleeve), and it will work with you and you really will be the better for it..

Hoping the insurance does follow through and you'll be approved and have the surgery done and over with.

You are the only one who can make the wise decision to have the sleeve. You look very intelligent to me, so i'm sure you'll do whats best.

best wishes

good luck

kathy

[CRainwater 1]

Hi Karen - I am 52 as well. I had surgery five days ago removing the lap-band and converting to a 'sleeve'. Therefore I cannot comment on the post surgery relationship with food.

I can comment though on fear and going back and forth and why in the end I went forward. I did the lap-band because it was the least invasive procedure. It did not work with me as I have found post lap-band surgery it doesn't work for 37% of patients. When I was presented with the reality that the lap-band hadn't worked (I obviously knew it hadn't) - the sleeve was recommended but I felt that I was going down the rabbit hole so to speak. There was no reversing this procedure.

I have diabetes and I am a poor diabetic (hate the testing and the medicine). I am/was a semi foodie - love cooking and going to good quality restaurants and trying new culinary experiences. So I was being driven to the hospital on December 21st a few months ago - I was still debating, should I or shouldn't I. I actually wondered how upset everyone would be if I canceled (imagine). Well I went through prep, was wheeled back to the operating room, put on the operating table (half in/half out of it) and I heard a lot of discussions in the background. The anesthelogist came around and said we are canceling the surgery - you have heart issues. She later came to me in recovery and said - well since this surgery is "optional" I didn't want to run the risk with what they were seeing on my EKG.

I spent the month of January having numerous tests on my heart and thank goodness I do not have heart disease although I know that I am knocking on the door. I realized that my surgery was not optional if I wanted to live a life with good quality and without these various medical conditions. As a result I got the surgery rescheduled as soon as possible and I had the procedure this past Wednesday. Something that my doctor said to me - was that the lap-band was easy up front but then got harder whereas the sleeve is hard up front but it gets easier. The major portion of the weight lost occurs in the first six months - and so I am calling this "hell period" but I know I can get through this because there is a finite period of time and I can cross the days off the calendar. I know that when I emerge from this time - that my relationship with food will have changed drastically. On a previous diet - I tried a honeydew melon and I thought yuck! Four months later still on the diet I bought another honeydew and after having a bite I thought oh my goodness the sweet necter of the gods. Small portions of very good quality food will be acceptable with the sleeve after you find your new normal.

It is important to note that this is an extremely personal decision so don't feel that my comments are a value judgment on you. My decision was right for me. It is interesting to think that prior to the surgery I was thinking a lot about losing 85% of my stomach and yet post surgery that isn't really a concern any more. I have a stomach - it is gruggling after a sip of Protein drink but it is definitely there. Good luck with your decision.

[Jswilbur 42]

You are in the right place! My drs office highly recommended this particular website/forum since I have chosen the veg. They also recommended obesityhelp.com, but I prefer this one. Anyway, I believe the best non-technical info we can get is from those who have had the surgery. I have found people on here to most open and honest about all their experiences, good and bad. When I chose to have surgery, which I will have on March 23rd, I knew it was important for me to read all the pros and cons.

[Jswilbur 42]

I hit send too soon. The 'vsg' surgery, not 'veg'! Also, I would like to add, how many times have you had a dr or nurse say to you, "This will only hurt a bit, you might fill a pinch, or this won't hurt at all!". I will go to my surgeon for the surgery, but listen to those who are ahead of me on this journey for helps, hints, prayers, and encouragement!

Sue

[lsereno 2,525]

I'm almost 10 months out. I new my life would be better, but I did not truly understand how hard it was on my body to carry around more than 100 extra pounds till they were gone. I literally had to learn to walk again because I no longer need to carry that extra weight so my step is lighter, my posture straighter, and my legs are not spraddled because of the size of my thighs.

I can eat anything I want - spicy, sweet, rich. Except dairy. I'm one of the few who develop lactose-intolerance and it has not disappeared yet. I do eat greek yogurt and firm cheeses. But not ice cream, milk, soft cheeses, or whipped cream.

I love good food and I honestly enjoy it more now that a small portion satisfies me.

You will find real stories of people who have had complications on this forum, but that actually helped allay some of my fears because they all seem to have recuperated. Even the worst cases with leaks.

Best wishes on your journey, where ever it takes you.

Lynda

[Swimmer 199]

Best decision I ever made. I am so happy I am permanently taking control of my life. Best wishes.

[Swimmer 199]

Best decision I ever made. I am so happy I am permanently taking control of my life. Best wishes.

[Finding Myself 146]

Lynda, thank you for your post. I'm scared but what you said about complications instantly made me feel better. My insurance will not cover me so my concern about complications bankrupting me is real. But I'm starting to see small problems come up... Knee probs, foot problems, etc and I'm not morbidly obese! I wish healthcare in America was more progressive and saw this sx as preventative care instead of such an ordeal for approval.

[missmeow 156]

I am in the same waffling category as you, except that I am 35. I have no health problems and have already lost a bit of weight on my own without a huge amount of stress. I keep waffling between really giving it a go and getting to an "overweight" I can live with because I know the chances of me losing 75-100lbs and keeping it off are 95-99% against me doing so, or going through the surgery and being able to fit into pants I haven't fit into for over 10 years. Some would say that if I haven't done it already, I'm not ever going to do it. I would say that may not be the case. I have not really confronted a lot of the issues and reasons for keeping weight on (other than my fantastic crappy metabolism) and self-sabotaging. Going through this process has really put me in touch with the issues I have to deal with in order to move forward, especially if I go through with the surgery. I am some days thinking, if I can conquer that, then I should be able to do it on my own. Other days, I think no fxing way.

So I do totally understand where you are coming from and don't want to be a debbie downer. I just want to throw it out there that you aren't alone and I think everyone on here goes through some level of self-doubt and what-ifs. Only you can weight the potential negatives with the positives and determine if it comes out a winner.

(edited: I can post my concerns/issues elsewhere, just wanting to keep it positive)

[kemo46 82]

It is a decision only you can make. It changed my life and I can actually say it saved my life. I wish I had done the surgery years ago.

Good luck on your decision.

[cissiesue 119]

I'm not a lover of obesity help. This Site is much more helpful and positive. I've found that you'd be hard pressed to get answers to questions you post, hut you can see that hundreds of people have read it :/. Welcome! You'll do great!

[Writergirl 230]

Perhaps this thought will help you decide... I love fine dining, and my husband and I were eating out 5 nights a week, at good restaurants. I cried every day for 6 months as I struggled with this decision, but it all came down to this question: Is it eating that allows me to live my "authentic" life, or is it getting out and doing things that allows me to live my authentic life? As my joints deteriorated because of weight related issues, I was doing less and less. Eating out was my big social life. I finally had to conclude that I would be much more miserable sitting in my house dreaming of all the things I'd like to do than I would be just eating smaller portions of food I enjoy. I'm only 7 weeks out, but to my VERY great surprise, I'm not feeling all that upset over the eating changes. I thought I would be feeling SO deprived, but I'm not at all. At 55, I still have a lot of life ahead of me (God willing!) and I want to do things. I would picture myself on vacation at some fabulous restaurant, only being able to eat 5 bites of food and feeling incredibly sorry for myself. Then I would picture my (then) current situation... on vacation, sitting on the beach, unable to go into the Water because my knees couldn't handle the shifting sand, and feeling incredibly sorry for myself. I decided being able to DO things was more important to me than being able to EAT things. So far, I've been out to eat multiple times, have enjoyed what I've eaten, and have no regrets! Good luck!