10 Week Update....(Confessions, Blessings And Lessons)

[favoredone 590]

I'm a little over 10 weeks out from surgery... I have to say, I've never done anything so physically, emotionally and mentally engaging as this sleeve journey.... Early out, the physical part of the journey was the most difficult for me.. but, learning to navigate my life and social interactions by listening to Sleevina and the rest of my body, has allowed me to release the anxiety of eating... (still there sometimes, but it was crazy at first!!! OMG!!)...

Lately, the emotional and mental challenges of this journey have weighed me down some.. I guess, I expected to do what I'm supposed to and the weight will fall off and everything will be great!! NOT TRUE!!! Yes, the weight is coming off, but I don't know if my mind and body are in sync...I started not taking my vits and supps on time or at all (changed that yesterday!!).... Many days I only eat once (I know... that's crazy and can be dangerous.. I won't do this EVER again!)... When I look in the mirror, I still see a 382 pound woman.. I haven't gotten rid of all of my "big" clothes... I'm trying to figure out if it's because subconsciously I feel that I will wear them again!! I find myself using the word.. ONLY when talking about my weight loss... sometimes I feel that I haven't done enough... I've lost about 33 pounds since surgery (54 lbs total), but people think I've lost tons more because I'm losing lots of inches!! I am grateful..

I'm grateful because

• I can run around w/ my niece and nephew...
  
• I can cross my legs (I haven't done that in 8+ years)...
  
• I can walk around a store or my house for hours w/o sitting down or my back hurting...
  
• I can wear HEELS again!!!... (I'm a shoe freak.. this makes me sooo happy!!)..
  
• I'm comfortable in chairs, desks and my car...
  
• I haven't used my inhaler in over 3/4 weeks...
  
• I don't have to roll around in my chair at work for half of the period.. I can stand and walk around ALL day!!...
  

So, through it all the crying, complaining, ups, downs, EVERYTHING... I don't regret a thing!!! These are my lessons

• I will not compare myself or my journey to anyone else's... Our journies are as different as we as individuals are.. Yes, we have similarities, but no body's exactly the same
  
• I will not beat myself up for making an unwise decision... it happens, take a breath and make a better decision next time..
  
• I will not just focus on weight loss... I am in the midst of a total life make over... It will not happen overnight...
  
• I will not diminish my strength, hard work or successes to appease people... I've lost friends... but I've gained a new lease on life... I think I've come out ahead
  
• I WILL NOT STOP!!! I am determined to live my BEST life, EVERYDAY!!!!
  

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Guess what? You need to donate those beautiful large cloths to someone else because you will never fit them again! I had the same dilemma. Didn't want to get rid of my old cloths and didn't know why. Subconsciously I am fearful I will gain the weight back. That is my fear talking. So yesturday, my son and I took them to the Goodwill and donated them. Now I have so much space in my closet and also in the garage where I had large trash bags full of clothes. It is a good feeling. I am never going to gain the weight back because I am choosing to eat healthy and to increase my exercise when possible.

From past posts of yours, I picked up a wonderful since of being you (happy, excited, enjoying attention). There's no going back, it's forward on from here and you will blossom like a beautiful red rose. CONGRATS on your success! :wub:

[favoredone 590]

Thanks!! I am happy, for the most part... Just been having a very insteresting week... I'm grateful for all my blessings and this new life!!!

[Meljp 36]

Your words are as beautiful as you are!! Hold your head high and be proud of what you have accomplished!! You ARE an inspiration! Blessings~Melanie:)

[favoredone 590]

Awww thanks Melanie!!! I really appreciate that!! How are things going w/ you??

[Deb of Maryland 17]

I'm a little over 10 weeks out from surgery... I have to say' date=' I've never done anything so physically, emotionally and mentally engaging as this sleeve journey.... Early out, the physical part of the journey was the most difficult for me.. but, learning to navigate my life and social interactions by listening to Sleevina and the rest of my body, has allowed me to release the anxiety of eating... (still there sometimes, but it was crazy at first!!! OMG!!)...

Lately, the emotional and mental challenges of this journey have weighed me down some.. I guess, I expected to do what I'm supposed to and the weight will fall off and everything will be great!! NOT TRUE!!! Yes, the weight is coming off, but I don't know if my mind and body are in sync...I started not taking my vits and supps on time or at all (changed that yesterday!!).... Many days I only eat once (I know... that's crazy and can be dangerous.. I won't do this EVER again!)... When I look in the mirror, I still see a 382 pound woman.. I haven't gotten rid of all of my "big" clothes... I'm trying to figure out if it's because subconsciously I feel that I will wear them again!! I find myself using the word.. ONLY when talking about my weight loss... sometimes I feel that I haven't done enough... I've lost about 33 pounds since surgery (54 lbs total), but people think I've lost tons more because I'm losing lots of inches!! I am grateful..

I'm grateful because

[*']I can run around w/ my niece and nephew...

[*]I can cross my legs (I haven't done that in 8+ years)...

[*]I can walk around a store or my house for hours w/o sitting down or my back hurting...

[*]I can wear HEELS again!!!... (I'm a shoe freak.. this makes me sooo happy!!)..

[*]I'm comfortable in chairs, desks and my car...

[*]I haven't used my inhaler in over 3/4 weeks...

[*]I don't have to roll around in my chair at work for half of the period.. I can stand and walk around ALL day!!...

So, through it all the crying, complaining, ups, downs, EVERYTHING... I don't regret a thing!!! These are my lessons

[*]I will not compare myself or my journey to anyone else's... Our journies are as different as we as individuals are.. Yes, we have similarities, but no body's exactly the same

[*]I will not beat myself up for making an unwise decision... it happens, take a breath and make a better decision next time..

[*]I will not just focus on weight loss... I am in the midst of a total life make over... It will not happen overnight...

[*]I will not diminish my strength, hard work or successes to appease people... I've lost friends... but I've gained a new lease on life... I think I've come out ahead

[*]I WILL NOT STOP!!! I am determined to live my BEST life, EVERYDAY!!!!

Thanks for sharing favor done simply needed that right now after a crying spurt!

[EmSchrams 12]

These are some seriously beautiful and inspiring words!!! Congrats on the amazing job you have done so far, and will continue to do!!!

[Itsanewdaycassandra 45]

I love your lessons list, and thanks for reminding me that with the sleeve I am in the midst of a total life make over! Keep up the good work!

[favoredone 590]

You guys are so great and encouraging!!!! Writing is therapeutic for me... I'm thinking about actually blogging my journey for real...

[Catracks 865]

Wonderful post! You are a beautiful lady inside and out.