Hatered,toward "fat" people.

[warmmorningsun 1]

I don't mind kid's comments so much, if they are just stating it as a fact and not using it as an insult. My 4 year old neice says I'm soft and fluffy, and to her that is a great thing, I'm good to cuddle with.

My Sweet Baby (my 4 year old) says I'm "Bouncy" and she looooovvvveeees bouncy! *LOL* No ill intent, just a descriptive word that makes sense to her.

I think people find their uppity bone when it comes to obesity because it's the general belief that you can "help" being fat. As in, that blind person didn't blind themselves, but that fat girl sure did eat her way to a size 26...

I've never understood feeling superior to another. And I have worked sooo hard to teach my little one to accept people. I don't want her growing up thinking that she's better OR worse than anyone. Just to accept people as they are and embrace the fact that we're all different.

....can't we all just get along?????.... seriously I mean it.

[coleoptera 1]

I may be fat now, but I have had surgery to help me be thiner. There is no surgery to help you not be such an AS* H*LE!

[bitteroldhag 0]

it's because gluttony is one of the 7 deadly sins.

Seems like it's always been a case of "I be more pious than thou art." Besides, it's easier to get away with your own ... sins if you make a big ruckus about what other people are doing. Slight of hand, distraction...

Gluttony may be one of the 7 deadly sins but so are anger, pride, envy, lust, greed and sloth. I suspect that anyone who is cruel to an overweight person suffers from at least one of these sins. Personally I'd like to suffer from lust, but since menopause, that sin has gone down the drain. Alas.

[bitteroldhag 0]

My Sweet Baby (my 4 year old) says I'm "Bouncy" and she looooovvvveeees bouncy! *LOL* No ill intent, just a descriptive word that makes sense to her.

I think people find their uppity bone when it comes to obesity because it's the general belief that you can "help" being fat. As in, that blind person didn't blind themselves, but that fat girl sure did eat her way to a size 26...

I've never understood feeling superior to another. And I have worked sooo hard to teach my little one to accept people. I don't want her growing up thinking that she's better OR worse than anyone. Just to accept people as they are and embrace the fact that we're all different.

....can't we all just get along?????....:Banane27: seriously I mean it.

I was reading my email and thought that your attitude is just superior. We need a whole lot more people like you. I really love the "uppity bone." I intend to use that with my students as soon as possible. I'm willing to get along unless someone is rude to me and then I'm willing to say something. People who know me never call me fat to my face because I'll be rude and they know it. But I'm trying to get thinner, not for them-- for me. So unlike you, I'm afraid I'm a selfish, rotten person. But I can try to live up to your ideas in your post and I'll start right now. And Rodney King was right though the young folks today think he was killed by the police.

[warmmorningsun 1]

I was reading my email and thought that your attitude is just superior. We need a whole lot more people like you. I really love the "uppity bone." I intend to use that with my students as soon as possible. I'm willing to get along unless someone is rude to me and then I'm willing to say something. People who know me never call me fat to my face because I'll be rude and they know it. But I'm trying to get thinner, not for them-- for me. So unlike you, I'm afraid I'm a selfish, rotten person. But I can try to live up to your ideas in your post and I'll start right now. And Rodney King was right though the young folks today think he was killed by the police.

It's so hard and my parents think I"m a tree huggin freak *LOL* but I do want her to be tolerant of others. I just don't want her to judge a person based on some physical attribute or stereotype. If she meets someone and as an individual that person exhibits behavior that's disrespectful to her, I want her to take up for herself (like you said you do if someone disrespects you - that's not selfish or rotten at all). But I don't want her to meet someone and judge them because of some generalization she may make. I dont' think we can all understand each other, but I think we're obligated to TRY. And the uppity bone *LOL* that's what we call it when someone acts arrogant! Thanks so much for the complimentary post!:Banane27:

[Koko 0]

My Sweet Baby (my 4 year old) says I'm "Bouncy" and she looooovvvveeees bouncy! *LOL* No ill intent, just a descriptive word that makes sense to her.

That's cute. I had a similar nickname when my son was 4-8, he called me "squishy".

[ericsmom 2]

Once, I was standing in a bank, when I heard "Oh MY GOD, I didn't know they made pants that big." So I turn around, looking for the "fat" person so I could give them a "I understand" smile, and then realized this woman was talking about me. She was maybe 75 years old, and with an assistant, who looked like maybe she was a nurse.

So I stood in line, my face RED thinking about what I was going to do. I was embarrassed, but also PISSED! How dare she say something like that!

I finished my banking, then stood there and waited. She finished her banking, and started to walk by me...still talking about how big my pants were. So I stopped her, and said....

"ma'am, I heard what you said about my pants, and I wanted to let you know that before you make comments like that, you should think about the fact that maybe the person can hear you. I have thyroid cancer, and can't control my weight, so that was very hurtful".

She started to stammer something about how sorry she was, she had no idea, cancer is horrible......etc.

So I waited for a minute, and then said "see how you feel now? Embarrassed and not sure what to do? That is how I feel everytime someone makes a comment about my weight. I don't have cancer, I am just fat. But the fact is, if you feel bad about saying it now, you shouldn't have said it at all. Did you think the whole bank needed to hear about how fat I was? Do you think no one else noticed? You just needed to make yourself feel better? How sad is your life, when you have to make fun of someone to feel good about yourself."

And turned on my heel and walked out. As I left, one of the bank employees who was a bigger woman said "you tell em".

You are a braver woman than I will ever be...I'm so proud of you for speaking up, and putting her in her place. Way to go!

[ericsmom 2]

Obesity is a physical handicap that we carry with us everyday. In public, you never know what kind of nasty comments you'll hear. In fact, I think this is the greatest prejudice of all.

If you see a person in a wheelchair, you don't go up to that person and say, "How long have you been cripple?" If we see a blind person with a cane or seeing eye dog would we ever think of screaming out, "Can you see ANYTHING or are you TOTALLY blind?" Sadly, it's not the same with obesity. It's a turn off for many people and they feel obligated to express that. I feel sorry for them but it does nothing to lessen the pain.

It's best to educate children, try and ignore insensitive/cruel people, and hold you head high and move forward. We know we're special and have a lot to offer... even if others can't see past the obvious.

I totally agree with everything you have said, especially "It's best to educate children..." I have made sure to raise my son to be a polite and tolerant person, and especially because I have been heavy his entire 14 years on this earth, he sees what I physically go through and knows that it is a hard life. We speak openly about my struggles and I encourge him to learn from me. You make extremely good points about not approaching others with disabilities in the same manner that people do with those who are obese.

[CCBSTX 0]

Once, I was standing in a bank, when I heard "Oh MY GOD, I didn't know they made pants that big." So I turn around, looking for the "fat" person so I could give them a "I understand" smile, and then realized this woman was talking about me. She was maybe 75 years old, and with an assistant, who looked like maybe she was a nurse.

So I stood in line, my face RED thinking about what I was going to do. I was embarrassed, but also PISSED! How dare she say something like that!

I finished my banking, then stood there and waited. She finished her banking, and started to walk by me...still talking about how big my pants were. So I stopped her, and said....

"ma'am, I heard what you said about my pants, and I wanted to let you know that before you make comments like that, you should think about the fact that maybe the person can hear you. I have thyroid cancer, and can't control my weight, so that was very hurtful".

She started to stammer something about how sorry she was, she had no idea, cancer is horrible......etc.

So I waited for a minute, and then said "see how you feel now? Embarrassed and not sure what to do? That is how I feel everytime someone makes a comment about my weight. I don't have cancer, I am just fat. But the fact is, if you feel bad about saying it now, you shouldn't have said it at all. Did you think the whole bank needed to hear about how fat I was? Do you think no one else noticed? You just needed to make yourself feel better? How sad is your life, when you have to make fun of someone to feel good about yourself."

And turned on my heel and walked out. As I left, one of the bank employees who was a bigger woman said "you tell em".

THAT was a perfect response! Cheers to you, for speaking up and changing someone's life. THAT lady was forever changed, it certainly woke her up!

Shawn

[kittylover 1]

I always remembered something I heard a long time ago. "I may be fat but I can do something about that, you need to have plastic surgery to fix your face" always gets them.

[Loving-It 0]

I've been overweight pretty much all of my life. I've had kids at school say things, I've had the doctor say something, I've had associates at the office to strangers on the street say something to me. I had a co-worker who everytime she saw me in the breakroom would break out into jumping jacks.

I've found the best thing for me is to just stare them down. No mean looks, no evil eye, just stare at them. Then they squirm and look away. It works everytime. I'm too old to argue with them. Thank God they are able to point out what moments earlier I was blissfully unaware of....the fact that they are dumbasses.

[Koko 0]

It's amazing to me the things that people will do and say to someone about their weight. We live with this for years, it causes us pain and we would rather not have it in our face any more than it is.

You try to pretend that your not all that big and then someone comes along and points it out

[nursekathy2u 0]

Once when my husband and I were sitting in a restaurant a woman and her child passed by our table on their way out. He appeared to be about 4 or 5. he stops at our table and points at us and announces in a loud child voice "Y'all are fat!!" His face was all lit up like we were a couple of circus clowns or something. His mother bends down and says something in his ear and leads him away. No apology from Him or the mom.. I just yelled after them.. "Oh, Nice!!!" Then looked at all the people around us that were staring and said "were fat.. feel free to stare" then me and my husband just laughed and went back to eating.. we still laugh about it to this day everytime we go into that restaurant.. I cant blame the kid but the mom not saying anything to us was really low class...

[503-250 1]

It's funny reading these stories, my whole life I have had two clear reactions to this type of rudeness, one (mostly when I was younger) was to become enraged and violent. That never seemed to solve the problem, I was simply the big fat kid who bullied some skinny kid who now has free reign to call me fat whenever he wants. Now, I just confront the people with their comments and make them answer for them. No anger, no violence, just simple questions or comments and then wait for a reaction.

For example, if someone comments on how fat I am, or the size of my clothing, I would simply ask them, and that assinine comment you just made, does it make you feel better about yourself in some way, fill a void that you find in your own life, fix something about yourself that you don't like, or is it that you are just a insensitive jackass?

Recently while standing in line at the grocery store, the woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder and pointed out that the soda I was carrying was loaded with sugar, and someone "your size" shouldn't have sugar. I don't even drink soda, my brother in law does, but she didn't care. This was her moment to be superior. So I turned around and in her cart is beer, and drink mixers. So I said, you know you are absolutely correct, how about you and I leave all these addictions behind, I will go to OA and you go to AA and we will both save our own lives. She was stunned and stammered out something about not being an alcoholic and how dare I make judgements. She was so offended she walked away from her cart and left the store, some people are so sensitive.

The second way is sort of weird in my mind since it conflicts so drastically with the first. My whole life I have been fat, and have been cast out, pushed aside and insulted because of it. I developed what I consider to be some mild OCD type behaviors because of it. I can't wear a shirt if I lift my arms and it comes above my waist. I can't wear anything tight or clingy in any way. I am constantly washing my hands and face and I often shower twice a day to avoid being "the fat smelly guy". I am very aware of my breath, burping and passing gas, as these are the traits of the "disgusting fat guy". Basically if you think of any movie or TV image of a fat person they are always in mismatched ill fitting clothing and jamming food in their face while emitting noxious odors. My OCD is simple, I do everything I can think of to not be that person, to not fit the stereotypical movie fat guy. This has extended into other parts of my life as well, I am very careful of any physical contact with anyone. For some unknown reason, a tall fat guy is automatically assumed to be some kind of touchy feely perv. My wife is amazed to this day at how uncomfortable I am hugging or kissing anyone but her based on this.

[Koko 0]

503-250, I think I'm in love with you Way to go, I love your way of dealing with these rude types... give it right back!