Tell Parents Or Not

[strawberryblue 10]

Luckily, I have a very supportive husband and sister for this journey. I am not telling work any more than that I'll be out for "surgery".

However, my parents are another issue. Although they are both obese, they have always been anti weight loss surgery. My mom knew a woman that died from a blood clot while getting a gastric bypass over a decade ago; therefore WLS is too risky.

Originally I didn't plan on telling them anything until a few months after surgery (assuming everything went well, when I'm feeling better). However my sister made a good argument. She said its not fair to not tell our parents I'll be overnight in the hospital for surgery. She insists they would want to know that I'm in the hospital, even if it's for something they disagree with.

Any opinions? Would you want your child to tell you before or after?

Sent from my iPhone

[grannyk 58]

I agree you should tell your parents before the fact. What if something happened and your sister had to tell them bad news. Would they be hurt that you didn't trust them? Now don't get upset. I'm not saying anything will happen, but if you don't know that life every day is uncertain, then you are uninformed.

Also, you can get a lethal blood clot from sitting watching TV too long, or sitting in front of the computer for too many hours (that happened to my sister-in-law...not lethal, but multiple pulmonary clots that kept her in the hospital for days).

Tell your parents just before the surgery and gently let them know that you are doing this to be a better, more healthy you. Good luck...Kathe

[Amanda 3.0 140]

Perhaps I am biased because I don't communicate with my parents, but in my mind it is not fair to harass an adult about a decision they have made regarding their healthcare. I think that is the real question: Will they harass you about it leading up to surgery?

Perhaps your parents have your best interest in (their own) minds when they tell you they don't agree with weight loss surgery, but that doesn't give them the right to harass you about that.

If you think they will harass you about it, and cause you stress about an adult decision, then I would not tell them. If you are sure they can put their feelings aside and be supportive, then consider telling them.

This is about your well-being, not theirs. Not saying that you shouldn't care about them at all, but their need to know comes after your mental and emotional health regarding your surgery.