My First Outing And Peer Pressure Rant!

[Shells 40]

I am almost 5 weeks post op and this weekend was my first time going to eat outside my home: Went to see my best friend over the weekend- she flew to sacramento and I drove and we met at her mom's boyfriend's house. Her aunt, uncle and mom welcomed me with huge hugs and smiles because they knew me and Ron (mom's bf) and I met and I didn't hug him because I don't know him and I'm going to hug an old man (I think that irritated him-my bestie didn't hug him so that's why I didn't as well). Great beginning...So for dinner (ready at 5pm-early for me) mom made BBQ chicken thighs, salmon salad, and stir fried carrots and celery, biscuits and croissants. Ron bought biscuits which mom put in the oven and they served sparkling apple cider. Being one month post op I ate a few bites of a chicken thigh (about 1/3) and bestie took the rest, 1oz salmon and 2 yummy pieces of carrot. I felt like that was too much already and was forcing what I could. Bestie drank her apple cider and we switched glasses to make it look like I drank it ( SO thankful she knows) and we had a good time chatting and catching up. Ron-for some reason he kept noticing how little I ate and commented on how I haven't tried the biscuits he made so I said I'm on a low carb diet. He's like "you'll definately lose weight with that" and I was like I already lost 30 pounds with it and I'm not interested in biscuits that mom made but I'm sure they're delicious. He kept saying "Mai, she doesn't like the food you cooked" and I said I love moms food I just can eat less now. I'm sure he was teasing and my bestie kept looking at me apologetically and I wasn't upset or deterred- I just think Ron didn't like me. That's okay, it's his house and he doesn't know me and I don't give a rat's tail about him. It's just DAMN- don't look at what I'm eating- keep your head on your plate and be glad you have leftovers, like get off my balls mofo! The aunt and uncle noticed I ate a little and were worried that I would starve later, I appreciate they told my best friend instead of me. Concern is okay, comments ruffle my feathers. Around 8 while I was studying Ron came in and wanted me and bestie to come to the family room and there are FOUR types of ice cream (rocky road, coffee, vanilla and caramel swirl) laid on the table with mom scooping each one into a bowl. I'm like- NOOOO! Bestie quickly whispered she'll eat my share and I say "No thank you I don't want ice cream, I'm okay" and ron brings me a bowl with a scoop of each kind and says "there's no bread in here, I checked" what a jerk! I take it because I was gonna give it to my bf. She gave me a cup of rocky road with caramel swirl and I'm like really, I canNOT be eating this! Aunty and uncle ask me questions about school and I discuss my major and we talk about classes and Ron asked hows the ice cream so I try some and I already know it's a slider food-it's just going to melt and go through and my body absorbs all the calories. It tastes SO good and it's already melted and I eat the solid part- I think I ate 2/3 of a cup of ice cream. Less than 15 mins later I my sleeve felt weird. I ignored it and tried to do my hw. My heart rate was rising and I was sitting down. I felt like I needed to move around, went to the restroom and sprinkled cold Water over my arms and tummy, my skin felt weird and I just wanted to breathe. I just felt uncomftorable all over and wanted to go to my aunt's home where I was staying for the weekend. My best friend understood and I just couldn't talk I needed to get out. I said goodbye to them and bounced. Went straight into my aunt's arms and cried- because I felt guilty and weak. My aunt knows I had the surgery and she felt bad for me and told me that the calories are high and sugar is really high and since I haven't had much sugar since the surgery I just reacted differently. I didn't wanna tell her I was ashamed.

I can't believe I ate ice cream. What did I do. I am not going to lose weight this way. After ALL the s--t I went through to turn around and consume this- I wanted to slap myself. I hated Ron- I feel like he is a mirror of passive peer pressure and I was weak.

After my weak moment I drank lots of Water that night and watched a movie and just relaxed. Typing this I now realize that this process is going to be a huge mental struggle as well as emotional and physical and for this to work I need to make a healthy food plan. I am scared that ice cream will go through me like nothing and I will eat the whole gallon and not the 1/2 cup portion. I am not ready to try outside the book because honestly- I'm scared the food will taste so damn good and I'll gain it back- the weight, the shame, the unhappiness. I love being honest with myself and I am going to take care of myself and that means saying NO and accepting that it may hurt the other person's feelings no exceptions. And this was my first experience going out to eat. Sorry so long!

[Paola 62]

Stop beating yourself up, next time just stick to no thank you. It is hard when other people don't know and you want to be polite, but its worse to eat something and then feel so bad physically and emotionally. Don't be so hard on yourself, we are all re-learning how to eat what is right for us.

Its a struggle for me too, its a constant struggle to eat what my body needs, not what my eyes want. Every time I think about getting something to eat that is outside what I should have I take a sip of Water. I know it is okay to have a treat every now and again, but right now I know that my relationship with food needs to improve.

On a happier note, the Protein I am drinking almost tastes like ice-cream to me, its Lean Dessert, maybe you can try it. Whenever I am drinking it, it doesn't taste like I am having a Protein shake, it tastes really good.

[IowaAndy 95]

This guy is a jerk and you do not need his or anyone else approval for the choices you make for your life. This is you chance to live your life and you are the only one that can make the choices. Do not be down on yourself as peer pressure has taken most of us to places that we never wanted to go. This is a problem with our society as everyone else thinks that they know what is best for us and how we should live our lives.

Just tell them to F*** off. This is your life or should I say your "NEW LIFE" and you are the captain. Do not let anyone tell you how to live it. If they do not like it then you are far better off without them in your life. Surround yourself with those who care about you, support you and have your best interest in their hearts......to H*** with the rest.

Tomorrow is another day and no you will not sit and eat the half gallon of ice cream. I for one have faith in you............

[VJSlim 156]

Aww I feel so bad you had to go through that! Mean people are everywhere. You cant beat yourself up everytime you cross paths with one. A lot of bad habits start because of peer pressure than any other reason. But it is a great thing that you've learned so much from that experience.

I know we all have reasons to not let others know that we've had surgery. That's our personal business, right? And it is good that you had a wonderful support from your friend.

Dont worry! All will be fine. And best of luck in your weight loss journey!

[vampsy 29]

I love that you shared that with us. Just today I was expressing my fears of solid food with my husband. You see, I am only 2 weeks post op, and in a month, my birthday will be here. My family loves parties and food and insults. I have a few Rons in the mix. I am terrified on how I will react to rude remarks or questions on why Im not eating the way I used to. But you handled it beautifully. Im sorry you felt bad about the ice cream. But you did great! Dont get down on yourself because your story is inspiration to me. I now know that I need to find someone at the dinner table during family gatherings to pass my food to and switch glasses with

[AllForMy4 58]

Girl,you are strong for even realizing the changes you need to make!! Don't beat yourself up over it,just move on and take the experience and use it for future reference. You know that you don't ever want to feel that bad again for eating something you shouldn't. I honestly think you're gonna do great,I think we all have to go through the tough part and the little mistakes. It is part of this whole life change. Noone is perfect. If we were,we would have never needed the sleeve in the first place. As long as it isn't an everyday thing,it's not a problem in my opinion. You're gonna lose the weight,and keep it off,you can do this. As far as Ron,he sounds like a JERK. I would most likely had ended up saying something to him. ((HUGS)) to you,I think you handled the situation great. The ice cream incident is over,put it in the past and continue to do great sleeve sister! ((HUGS))

[mona777 12]

I love that you shared that with us. Just today I was expressing my fears of solid food with my husband. You see, I am only 2 weeks post op, and in a month, my birthday will be here. My family loves parties and food and insults. I have a few Rons in the mix. I am terrified on how I will react to rude remarks or questions on why Im not eating the way I used to. But you handled it beautifully. Im sorry you felt bad about the ice cream. But you did great! Dont get down on yourself because your story is inspiration to me. I now know that I need to find someone at the dinner table during family gatherings to pass my food to and switch glasses with

LOL!!!! MY FAMILY LOVES PARTIES FOOD AND INSULTS TOO!!!!

[Amanda 3.0 140]

I know it is really hard, but you have to learn to deal with dumbasses and simps. In the big picture, you will be okay in spite of the ice cream, just avoid it next time. You are smart and you know what to do. You were just being nice and polite in spite of people being rude to you.

Just remember that - you are the smart one here. There are going to be Rons in the world. Why is he paying so much attention to anything you are doing or eating? Don't try to explain things to dumb people.

Here's an idea, although not fool proof: Don't say anything about your surgery to dummies. Stir, stir, stir your food. It makes you look busy eating. Then, throw it away when people aren't looking.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

I am a much more mellow person right now but I wish I had been there with you! GRRRRRRR

If you ever find your way you Houston let me know we will have a lite dinner and some Xbox kinect and no one will make an issue.

That invitation goes out to everyone!

[Lissa 2,631]

You did the best you could in a stressful situation. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just practice saying whatever you think you should have said in the mirror so you're prepared for the next time.

[Smoggy 152]

Goodness me- if we all took a vote I think we'd all vote that Ron is an utter idiot, and I do hope your friend's Mom sees that too! He can't be clocking up many brownie points with your friend either....

You are going to come up against people like this all the time, some battles we win, some we lose but the main thing is to get back on the horse. Which you have done with grace- WELL DONE for recognising the battle for what it is and better luck next time with making a healthy choice. We can't be perfect all the time, and you are doing just GREAT!

[Sleeved&Hopeful 182]

You just have to ignore these types of people and laugh them off. Tell them you are watching your weight for personal health reasons and it is highly important. They don't have to live in your body. You do.. It's your life. If they don't understand, that is their problem. I think avoiding negative people post op is very important. If I were you, I'd avoid them as much as possible

[Joiebean 53]

What you did was make the best out of a bad situation. So you took a couple bites of ice cream...its not going to 'do you in' and it got this guy off your back. You know what you're supposed to do and you left when you were able. That sound pretty strong to me. I've been embarressed about saying I had surgery, but have found that, with people like that guy, if you say it really bluntly (something with a little twist that makes them a little uncomfortable too) and put the ball in their court, they shut up. People seem uncomfortable with that conversation. lol....so make them just as uncomfortable back. I know it sounds mean, but hey, a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do. Its not fair for him...or anyone...to put you in a spot like that.

[circa 333]

don't beat yourself up over trying to avoid a more uncomfortable situation in an already uncomfortable situation. You learned from the experience so you can't regret it! Hang in there! Some people just don't know how to act! Its not polite to talk to people about their food intake unless they give you permission. I don't remember anywhere in that story where you gave this man you don't even know permission to talk to you like that! He's RUDE! He may just not know better and he may think he was being cute and trying to fit in.

My family is one of those that will pick on you to show you they like you - but they can read signs! They never pick on someone that's uncomfortable with being picked on - whether overall, or just in that situation. This guy didn't seem to care if you were comfortable or not.