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you know soemthign wa said abotu making a goal and then .,,falling off target,, when she said, about feeling safe being fat, you know somethign tweaked when i read it. What do you guys think? I mean this might sound weird but I then know if a man really likes me for me, and not obviously my body, I feel safe walking at night, who would want to rape me? does that sound mad?

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Not at all... I totally feel that. I think that's had alot to do with why I've continued to gain... past experiences, and trying to make myself less desirable. Also... I feel like the bigger you are, the harder you'd be to 'attack'... I think I would feel WAAY more vulnerable and scared of things (walking at night) and getting hurt if I were skinny.

And yeah the way *I* think, is that at least if someone likes me, I must be a nice person... cause that's all I've got, right? :| I don't expect people to 'look' at me they way they do other girls... and I think it would (will?) be scary to eventually be 'checked out' by guys. I've never been that girl, and it'll be verrry weird.

In a way, I'm happy that I'm with someone now, who knows my before. Anyone I met after I lost all my weight, I would always think that they would have never considered me before... that I wouldn't have been good enough for them before. I could never ever be with someone who'd say something like "Yuck... look at that" about a passing overweight person.

Anyways, no, you don't sound mad! :)

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Hey Kim & Mandi, I hear where you are coming from and though I'm not so sure I feel the same way, I can completely understand it.

But, plse do be careful and be sure not to develop a "false" sense of security. Remember....rape is not about sex (or attractiveness)...it is a crime of control and anger and I think generally happens as a crime of opportunity (wrong place, wrong time)....so though it is good to feel "safer" (to some extent) be aware and cautious about not being lulled into a false sense of security. Ya know?

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Chloe,

Thanks for opening this thread - you are not alone - I share your thoughts around the drive to self-sabbotage.:angry

I feel that this is definitely worse when I'm not "on top of my game" in other areas of my life - family, work, chores, monthly hormones (that's the chocolate cravings:phanvan ) etc!!!

Don't be too hard on yourself :) - the beauty of the band is that you can't fall completely off the wagon - just slip over the side a little - pretty soon you'll be able to climb right back up into the driver's seat, and you'll be on your way again.

Your in great company around here too....:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

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But, plse do be careful and be sure not to develop a "false" sense of security. Remember....rape is not about sex (or attractiveness)...it is a crime of control and anger and I think generally happens as a crime of opportunity (wrong place, wrong time)....so though it is good to feel "safer" (to some extent) be aware and cautious about not being lulled into a false sense of security. Ya know?

Oh no... I get that. I'm as scared of everyone now as I need to be! LOL

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"Everything is about sex, except for sex, which is about aggression."

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