Emotional Roller Coaster Before Surgery. Is This Normal?

[andi0120 41]

My surgery is scheduled for 2/29 less then a week away and I find myself an emotional wreck! I can't sleep my nerves are going crazy. I'm excited but still nervous. I've done enough research that I'm aware of side effects and mishaps but honestly that not bothering. For every horror story I read there are 10 awesome ones. This morning I actually had a wave of sadness hit me that I may not be able to eat certain foods again. From that emotion came anger that I allowed my happiness to be become so dependent on something life food!

Over the years the weight has definitely make my self esteem close to zero. Even on days when I thought I looked good the pictures after the fact were a reality check of what I truly looked like. I turned 40 in Jan. My boys are now teenagers who only need me for rides lol. I spent much of my 20's and all of my 30s being a single mom. So I felt like this would begin a new chapter of my life where I could start taking care of me a little more.

Anyway just felt like venting. I love this site because it allows me to do so. Just confused why I have been hit with this sadness. Anyone else go through this????

[keybold64 43]

Please believe me when I tell you - your feelings are TOTALLY normal! This is a major life change, so it makes sense that you would feel that way. I know I went from being so excited one day, to being scared to death and full of doubts the next day... it was exhausting! LOL! I even had my doubts right up until they put that IV in my arm and wheeled me off to surgery, but I am so glad I didn't back out. I'm almost 2 mos post op and couldn't be happier - try not to worry too much, you will be fine. Good luck and keep us posted!

[linkybo 27]

I'm right beside you on that roller coaster!! I'm hoping to get a date in late March and sometimes I think this is the best idea I've ever had and sometimes I think what the heck and I doing?

I think it's the emotional side of our brains that are saying things like "Oh, you'll never eat cake again." and I've found if I can just use some logic on those thoughts, they go away. Like, Sure, you can have a bite of cake. And that's all you'll want. And you'll look awesome eating that bite and walking away instead of shoveling the entire cake down and then being ashamed.

I'm 42 and I look back at all the junk I've eaten. Was it worth it? I've spent pretty much 20 years eating whatever was near by and not tied down and it's about time for me to stop that. My kids are younger than yours, but I avoid the camera like crazy. Who wants to face those pictures and the truth? I'm looking forward to pics that I can look at and feel good about.

If we don't have some reservations about surgery, I don't think we're being honest with ourselves. I'm sure you'll hear from many more people who are riding our very same roller coaster.

[blueluna75 1]

Oh honey everything your feeling is normal....I went through the same thing. In fact me being a single mom as well I'm pretty much tied to the house. Even though i hated my weight food was the only thing that made me happy...all those flavors and different textures and combinations...to never be able to indulge again??? I almost backed out. to be able to buy a $5 meal and eat it instead of 4 bites and walk away....to me that sounded horrible. food was my enjoyment.

Even now a week out of surgery I am going through those same withdraws of did I do the right thing? I took away my vice, my happiness, what do you mean I can only eat a breadstick and not the Pasta or desert?? This is something I'm sure will always stick in my head, but with most people the health aspect is more important. I knew I couldn't drop the weight to my ideal goal and stay there for long, it's just not feasible anymore. I'm getting older, health complication are becoming more and more and my metabolism is slowing down. This takes the guess work out and makes you goal achievable.

I'm down 12 pounds since I started preop and I think it's due to the fact i have been on Clear liquids the whole time and have another week before I can start Protein shakes. You will always have that in your head yet when you see yourself getting smaller, your portion size isn't as important anymore.

It takes a while for the grehlin to really decrease...but when it does you really won't have a desire for tons of food anyway. Good luck with everything and I hope you the best!!

[300PoundsDown 101]

I can totally relate! I'm a single mom too. There is no doubt that this is an emotional journey. For me, food has been my best friend, comforter and there for me whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on . Being a single mom, it has been like a partner to me. Honestly, giving up food was frightening. Really scary. I had a lot of panic attack level anxiety. I was so afraid I would not be able to cope without it. I can promise you that even with all of that it's been worth it. More than worth it . . This is just the beginning of what will be an incredibly awesome life changing experience for you! If you can, you might want to find a good therapist who specializes in working with bariatric patients b/c that way you have someone to work with you as you go through all those changes. this has helped me a lot. I look forward to hearing more about your journey!

[christin 54]

I was so glad when surgery was finally over because the roller coaster of emotions finally had a chance to rest. What you are feeling is absolutely normal. It's just a mixture of excitement and fear of the unknown. You will be on the other side very soon!

[Sassygirl06 962]

Yes totally normal. You will get through this. As for not being able to eat some things EVER again, that is totally false. I am now 6 months out and can say, I havent found anything that I am not able to eat, just a really small portion of it. I dont like some things now that I did before, but I am able to eat them with the sleeve. You are making the right decision. This will make you so much more healthy, and happy! ((hugs)) you will do great!

[Meljp 36]

Hey sleeve Sis! I am sitting right beside you on that damn roller coaster of emotions...I had the hardest time making a grocery list this morning..the things I will need for today and tomorrow's liquid diet...things I will need when I get home next week...things for hubs to eat while playing my nurse at home...Thank God he offered to do the shopping for me as I think I would still be wandering around Walmart!! I feel like I am in a fog or have jet lag or something like that...I will be so happy this Monday when they wheel me off to the operating room...Best Wishes for your surgery and we will catch up when it's over....Melanie:)

[andi0120 41]

Thanks everyone feel so much better after reading this. I pretty much knew I lost it when I was on the way to Walmart and realized I had on different shoes one great one black. Same shoes different colors Uhg. So glad I realized in the car and not the store lol. Good luck to everyone who also have surgeries scheduled for this week. I'll be praying for us all and waiting to share victory stories on the other side. Peace and Love