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The Million Dollar Question



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I haven't really found anything to replace it yet. I watch alcohol carefully because that addiction runs in my family.

Right now with my therapist we are working on the things that cause me to reach out for food (self destructive behavior). I'm hoping to break through that, because while I'm maintaining I just can't seem to make myself do what I know I need to do to get past 215. *shrug*

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I was wondering why I keep feeling like I lost my best friend. I guess food was my best friend. I don't smoke or drink. I don't listen to music. I like watching TV but only at night. I will be glad when the reruns stop and my favorite shows will be back on. I don't like exercise, but I do enjoy swimming when weather permits. I have no idea what I will do when it gets too cold to swim. I also realized today that I haven't been shopping like I use to...because it was always revolved around meeting for lunch. I don't want to buy new clothes because I am still losing weight. The clothes in my closet now are what was too small for my youngest daughter. Not the proper style for a 45 year old woman (Daisy Duke Shorts), but I am wearing them to have something that is not falling off because it is too big and baggy. Therapy is sounding like a very good idea right now.

Almost forgot...my cat dying didn't help either!

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My addiction has always been books, and snacking while reading them. I've made a new rule; no eating and doing ANYTHING else. Books are still my favorite addiction, but I now enjoy them without food. I'm trying out other hobbies...photography, scuba, sailing lessons, and next.... kayaking (if I fit in one that is! LOL). I'm sure I'll find something because fortunately (or unfortunately?!) it take tons of alcohol to affect me in the least..always been like that.

As for music and exercize...I've always worked out or walked with my music, until I discovered something new. My new iPod has video capability...I've downloaded 2 seasons of Monk and have suddenly found myself working out for an hour without even NOTICING! I now look forward to the treadmill so I can see the show, 'cause I don't allow myself to watch it any other time.

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