It's Time for a Laugh, Girls!!

donali · May 21, 2004

There is not enough love or laughter in the world, so I'm trying to spread a little.

Happy Friday, everyone!!!

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NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person . Can we go to bed now?"

B U Y A G R A Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

Extra Strength B U Y-O N E-A L When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T! A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators or on airplanes.

S E X C E D R I N More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

N A G A M E T When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

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