I'm Having Mixed Feelings About Bariatric Surgery

[nydiva 27]

Hi All,

For the past 2 years my primary doc has being telling about going for the lapband. And I have been scared. I saw her Jan 11 and she told me I was borderline diabetic and then I really got scared. Since then I have been off the sweets and taking in very little carbs. I've lost 10lbs. in one month. Meanwhile, I have been doing alot of reseach on bariatric surgery. That's what led me to VST.com. Taking my primary's advise, I had a consult with a bariatric surgeon on Jan. 30 whom performs gastric bypass, lapband and vertical sleeve. I'm 38 years old and I have been struggling with my weight all of my adult life. I want to stop struggling and start living, for or myself, for my kids, and for my husband. I know I need to do something to get healthy, and I rather do it on my own than have the surgery. I am so scared of the complications that may arise and the long terms effects of bariatric surgery. If I had to choose I would go with the vertical sleeve. I feel like I don't have the will to do it on my know, especially at this time of my life when I have stress coming at me from all directions and all I want to do is eat a big fat piece of juicy cake. Let's just put it this way, I'm a mom of an 18 year old and a 4 year old. I'm a wife, a fulltime nursing student and I work part time. Phew! So ok, until I decide what I'm going to do I'll be going through the motions of seeing the nutritionist, getting a psych evaluation and all the other tests necessary for getting bariatric surgery done. Tomorrow I go for the sleep test. And if i do decide to have any surgery done hopefully my approval will be for this summer 2012. Please advise me if you can, I would greatly appreciate any and all your feedback.

Best Regards,

Nydiva

[EJStorm 13]

All I can tell you is that having the VSG was one of the best decisions I ever made. It has changed my life in many good ways. Doing it "on your own" is over rated. If this tool is available and will increase your success, why not use it?

I don't think it's any different than using other tools in life that are available to us....a tax preparer, a medication for an illness, a mechanic to work on our car....using a hammer instead of trying to push a nail into the wall with your fingers.

Less than a year ago, I weighed 320 pounds, wore a 32W or 4X in clothing. I was physically miserable and huffed and puffed my way through each day, coming home with my feet aching. Right now I weigh 186, wear a size 14 misses and breeze through my day. I could not have accomplished this "on my own". I know that for a fact. i have tried and failed too many times in my life to believe otherwise. The sleeve was the difference between success and failure for me, as for many, many others.

[nydiva 27]

Thanks EJStorm

[circa 333]

Its something you have to research and prepare for - both physically and mentally. You need to understand what it takes to do this. Its not the easy way out. If you're tired of the eternal struggle, then it might be an option for you. Being borderline diabetic is a scary thing, I'm sure. If you feel you can do it without the extra tool, by all means, do it and be proud of it! But if you need the extra help, that's what its for.

[warrior 9]

I'm a over-worked single mom who has battled weight for my whole life. Four years ago I had LapBand. I wanted the sleeve, but was told it was unavailable. I have been completely dissatisified with the band. It interferes with much of the daily life activities and work demands for me. I hate it. Sad but true, the band doesn't work for everyone. I gave it a good try, but I'm going for a revision to sleeve at almost the exact same weight as I was when I got the band. I know that the sleeve is not a cure-all, but I have my eyes wide open and I'm more positvive than I ever was with the band.

Every person is different and every story is unique. Search your heart, talk to your family, go to classes and read everything on this site. You will find what's right for you and maybe you'll be a thin mentor to another, I wish you well on your journey.

[beba238 123]

OMG I feel the same way. I started my research back in 2010... Finally in December 2011 i decided to take action. Went to a doctors appointment and now I feel stuck. At first I was 110% positive that i wanted to do the lap band but after hearing that I had to keep it in forever or until something goes wrong i decided the sleeve would be awaaayyy better choice for me.

Its now mid Feb. and i haven't made any appointments to start all these exams! I am confused. One day i want to do it on my own and the next i am like i need this surgery.

I guess this is part of the process so don't feel like your alone in this!!!!

[Amanda 3.0 140]

I'm 47 years old and I have been fighting this fight for the past, what, 20 years? I have lost with diet and exercise, but to do so I have had to obsess on calories and exercise. This has been unsustainable as a wife and stepmom.

Probably seven years ago, I was all set to go with the lapband, but chickened out. Our insurance changed and bariatric surgery was no longer covered.

Last year, I realized that the hell of waking up fat every day was not going to go away without outside help. I am tired of being ashamed of myself and hiding from the world. I was going to research self-pay and get it done, whatever it took.

For the heck of it, I checked our medical insurance documents for 2011 and lo and behold, bariatric surgery was added back to the plan, but with a bunch of prerequisites. I met them all, so met with my PCP to discuss the lapband. She told me about the sleeve and recommended my surgeon. Fast forward eight months and I am sleeved and a happy camper.

There just gets to be a point where it is painfully clear that some of us can't do this on our own. We've tried everything. We're miserable. We bring our loved ones down with us. We stop truly living.

Even after I was sure I was going through with the surgery, I had nagging doubts. That's the mind working against us. It's a big step, and yes, there is a small possibility of complications. The day of surgery, I had a huge fit in pre-op. I wanted to tear my IV out and leave. WTH was I doing? Could I handle the pain? Had I exorcized my food demons? My ever-supportive husband was startled by this level of upset, which he had never seen from me in our eleven year relationship! Thank the good Lord for nurses and valium, because both appeared and I made it through.

You mention "going though the motions" of the pre-op procedures. I do encourage you to fully participate in the pre-operative process. It's a surgery on your stomach, but the big change is in your head. That takes some work.

Good luck to you, and keep us posted on your progress!

[clk 3,519]

Keep up with the process and jump through the hoops. Either you'll come to terms with the idea of surgery or you won't, and it's easy to cancel or reschedule the surgery if you need more time. The entire process with insurance can be a long one, and I'd hate to see you drop out only to restart the process again in two months!

I can't tell you what to do and I wouldn't know what to say to make you feel like this is the right choice, anyway. It's a deeply personal thing. A lot of people are scared of surgery in general, on top of their fears about VSG. My mom is one of them. She would benefit immensely but is too scared to have VSG be her very first surgery.

I can tell you that it changed my life. I was scared to do it because I didn't want to leave my husband or my two year old twins to fly across the world for my surgery. I was scared that I'd waste my money. I was scared that all those failed diets in the past *could* have worked; maybe I just hadn't tried hard enough to do it on my own yet. It's frightening to know that you're not only making a life-changing decision, but that you're also risking your life to have the surgery in the first place. All surgery comes with risk, even if you choose a great surgeon with no leaks or fatalities, like I did!

I cannot express how much I have changed, inside and out, all for the better. It was the very best thing I've done for myself. It's the only thing I've ever done only for myself. I'm happier and healthier and I wouldn't change a thing.

Either you'll get there or you won't. If you opt not to have surgery, that's okay. Keep thinking on it and eventually the right choice will become clear to you.

Best wishes,

~Cheri

[kemo46 82]

I will tell you this from experience, borderline diabetes can become full blown diabetes in a heartbeat. This is not something to take lightly. I had my sleeve surgery less than 9 months ago and I have lost about 110 lbs and almost at my goal. I take no medication of any kind, it changed my life. I changed my diet, exercise every day and the sleeve has been the tool that made all of this happen. Diabetes attacks your organs and can cause amputations. This alone should make you decide to do something permanetly about your weight. Good luck on your decision.

[illgeturhairdid 176]

I can tell you at only 10 weeks out this is the best decision I've ever made for myself. In those 10 weeks I've lost 50 pounds and I KNOW it will not be back! We've all been where you are at facing this daunting decision. Make sure you are ready and don't le anyone else talk you into it.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

So many good posts! But I want to mention the part where you referenced lack of will power and that the sleeve will help when you want to eat a big piece of cake - it won't help that. It will make you less phisically hungry, but it will not cure the head hunger that tells you that you want cake.

The "head hunger" is something you want to be in as much control of - or at least understanding and recognition of, before you undergo surgery.

The pre-diets that insurance companies make you go through, and enough emphasis is not put on AT ALL, do so much more than just qualify you for surgery or get you in a better physical state to undergo anestisia and surgery - that is when you begin to deal with your issues, and really begin to get an understanding of life after.

I too am 38 and I began to think about the bypass about 10 years ago - I had a rapid unexplained weight gain (very long story) and was not able to do the things I am used to and panicking because it wouldn't come off. I decided no way on the bypass about 7 years ago, and then lapband, and then no go there, too many complications. Then the VGS and I chose that. I do not have any regrets so far - I was sleeved 1/4. George (my sleeve) has had some issues and we are still mainly on liquids but I feel better each day. I tried sooo hard before I finally decided to go with VSG. I understand the desire to be able to say "I did it on my own". But I am doing it on my own. I decided on the surgery, arranged it, paid for it, I put the food in my mouth and record my intake and take my Vitamins and exercize. The medical side would have been there to one extent or another anyway. Teh surgery was just a different type of prescription - that is how I am looking at it.

Prayers for you as you make your decisions!

[Dooter 1,457]

This is SUCH a personal, and serious decision. Don't take it lightly and don't decide rashly. I agree with all comments above and could have written many of them myself. I'm 42 and struggling with weight since I was put on my first diet at 8 years old when the yoyo began. I agree that you should read ALLLL you can on this subject. Scour this website with a fine toothed comb, and look up anything you can regarding negativity about the surgery. That's what I did. I wanted to see what the worse thing is I could come up with. (It's not much, either.) Just really familiarize yourself with the procedure and the lifestyle you will have to live afterwards. Eyes wide open baby!

[Swimmer 199]

I'm 39 and struggled most of my life even though I'm active. I had the sleeve on the 25th and am about three weeks out now and feel amazing, swimming and walking every day. Best decision I have ever made. I had a dream recovery minimal pain and no nausea. I'm so excited to get off the sidelines of my own life. Best wishes.

[chigga77 21]

I was sleeved on 01-30-2012. It took me along time to commit to this. Unlike some I am 34 married no children. I had four failed pregnancies. High blood pressure, diabetes, a half functioning heart and a list of other issues. I tried everything. They would work in the beginning and then they would stop working. I realized that my life was important to me and if I ever wanted to have children I needed to have a life altering change. This was my last result and I do not regret it. It is very hard and I was a little mad at myself after the surgery. But I do not regret my decision and I would say Research research and research. Everyone recovers and loses differetly but having your own knowledge and seeing different people experiences helps alot. I did a lot of research, even down to watching the videos on how the procedure is done. hopes this helps

[nydiva 27]

Oh my goodness! Thank you so much to everyone who has replied to my post. I can't tell you how much I feel the love and support. Your ideas, thoughts, words of encouragement, and journeys have been awe inspiring to me. I carefully read what you all said and you all hit home with me. I'll be taking your encouragement with me as I go forth in my own Journey to find that healthier side of me.

Thanks a million!

Nydiva