"you're Fat (And That's The Cause Of All Your Problems)"

[Flagstaffian 31]

...all medical professionals seem to say to me....

Now, are they SAYING that? Or is that just what I'm HEARING?

A rant:

I sat down today with a primary care physican/internist to ask about a consistent, aching knot that has been living in my right shoulder blade for about 5 years. I figure it is from stress, or tension, or improper posture, or poor ergonomics at work. Sometimes a massage helps, but it never works it all the way out. I wanted some medical info on this, to see if massage really helps with muscle tension/pain, but what did I get instead?

A lecture. On being overweight. About how my gut and my boobs are too big, and how that causes back pain....

But wait, doc! I was asking about a knot in my shoulder! And I'm exercising, eating healthy, and having VSG in a few months! Can you please give me some actual advice relating to my shoulder pain?! She just kept veering back to the weight issue. Because, for me, it's hard to try to stand up to a doctor, and I'm usually not the one steering the conversation.

She eventually told me to try some Vitamin D or a heating pad. OK, fine. I'll try that. But I feel like I'm WELL aware of all of the detrimental effects of obesity. That's why I'm trying to get the weight off! Sometimes, I just want a doctor to give me an answer, and not relate it to the one medical issue I am fighting tooth and nail.

Thanks for letting me rant, VSG Talk friends. I feel better :smile1:

(HUGS)

SF

[AbacoRaveness 44]

Wow! I have had this same issue with some doctors. I remember once I went in because one of the horses at the barn that I was at (not my own horse) had kicked me in the knee. I waited for the swelling and bruising to go down and probably two weeks later my knee is still really bothering me. So, I go in to see a PCP and all I manage to get out is, "So, my knee hurts...." Before I can even get to the part about the horse this doc starts going on about how fat I am and how I'm always going to have knee trouble as long as I'm fat and when I lose about 100lbs it will all go away and I'll be healed!

I just sat there looking at her. Finally after she shut up because I had been staring at her for so long. I managed to say, "Actually, I got kicked by a horse AND I'm pretty sure no matter how much I weigh that was always gonna hurt." Then I got up and walked out. I don't know if I made my point, but it made me feel better.

[savinggrace 6]

I actually remember being told I couldn't be helped because of my weight. Will never forget it, I cried about it. Felt terrible, still think about it at times.

[IowaAndy 95]

Sorry you have to suffer at the hands of an insensitive so called medical professional. A doctor can tell you what they think you should do for better health but they have no place lecturing and lecturing you over and over again. Obviously if this is your primary care doctor it is not new news to her that you have a weight problem. She should be aware that you are trying your best and are not planning on have VSG. If you are not happy with your doctor and you are unable or unwilling to stand up to the doctor then I would be looking for a new doctor. I am sure that ones of your friends of coworkers know of a good doctor that you could see as a primary care physician. I work in the healthcare field and if I talked to and treated patients that way I would no longer have a job. Just because this person has been to medical school does not make them a good doctor......it also take compassion and listening and not always lecturing.

If you are unable or unwilling to speak to the doctor about the way you feel then I suggest it is time for a new primary care........their oath does say "DO NOT HARM"

[mesaucedo 207]

I too have heard this. But it is, sadly, usually the truth. Medical professionals are not saying it to be mean. Being overweight causes lots of strain on our bodies. It can cause back and knee pain, heart pain and palpitations and much more. It can also decrease your immune system strength causing you to get sick more often and for longer.

Sometimes they may seem harsh or hasty because of how often they see people that just don't care. We, obviously, are doing something about it and care about our health but many overweight people don't care. My uncle had been told hundreds of times that if he didn't lose weight he was going to have a heart attack and he just kept eating. He died instead of trying to get healthier.

Maybe next time you go see a doctor you should start out with "I am getting VSG surgery because I want to get healthier...." I do and it seems to help.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

When you finally get your VSG the weight is going to just fall off. It's like a miracle!

Dr's don't always have good bedside manners. This lady is one that needed some feed back on jumping the gun and making assumptions. Of course, you know that your weight contributes to health issues, but you don't need her to tell you that. Next time, stop them when they start talking because your time is very valuable, not only that, she made you feel really small, embarrassed and humiliated. Stand up and be heard.

[yecats 109]

It reminds me of what happened when I went to my doctor to ask him about what he thought of WLS. He is old school and keep in mind he has told me in the past that I HAVE TO lose atleast 100 lbs.

I went in and starting talking to him about the sleeve and he just shut me down and said "oh no......all you have to do is eat just one big salad a day and nothing else" Oh..... that is all, never mind my bottomless pit and never ending hunger feeling. Sometimes I wonder if they hear themselves. Don't you think we look in the mirror.

[fattymcfatterson 107]

7 years ago I went to see an ob/gyn about not getting pregnant. She told me to lose 10% (22 lbs) of my body weight and I would probly get pregnant and that I probly had pcos. I have been gaining and losing the same 15 lbs for the past 7 years. This January: I go to another ob/gyn who actually says he will do diagnostics. Turns out I have had polyps for who knows how long AND pre-cancer of the uterus. I am almost 41 and it is a slim chance I will get pregnant. I have punished myself for 7 years, thinking it was my fat and my fat alone that prevented me from getting pregnant. NOt necessarily so. Who knows how different things could have been for me had I gone to this doctor first. But God is still good, and I am a blessed woman. I may not have bio kids but I have step sons I love and I am a pre-school teacher. Now my goal is to be here for a long time and be healthy. Moral of the story: If a doctor diagnoses you as FAT, go see another doctor and don't PUNISH yourself with buffets and chipotle burritoes.

[thinoneday 445]

Yes, a heating pad and a lidocaine patch could help (if you can get those) Vitamin D may help, may not. I get those "knots" on my shoulder blade alot . . . and I've lost 150 lbs! Go figure, bet you anything it's caused primarily from stress. . .especially if you spend your day working on a computer or sitting doing something that keeps you in a certain position. . . ibuprophen 800 mg helps me with that pain especially at night, massage has not. . . lidocaine Patches help too. . . you may try those pain patches from the pharmacy that you can just put on the area. Good luck, hopefully something will help!

[Doreykn 113]

I fell & hit both knees in 1993...didn't seek medical treatment at first because, after all, I just skinned up my knees...Then my knees started bothering me. Drs. said nothing wrong. So, I find a dr that will really look into my problems. I had problems after all! DUH!!! I tried for years to get someone to listen to me! Then my PCP tells me I should look into weight loss surgery to help with my knees & other medical conditions. Best thing I've ever done. The knees feel a little better, but NOT cured! And I know, no matter how much weight I lose, they will never be the same! I still take Tylenol #3 for pain, just not as often. Hope you find a dr that listens to you!

[circa 333]

yes, while being overweight and obese contributes to a lot of physical problems, that doesn't mean there isn't medical attention for those issues while a lifestyle of proper nutrition and exercise are worked toward. ALSO, that being said, not ALL problems have to do with our weight. Some are made worse BECAUSE of weight, but that doesn't mean you can't treat. Any doctor that doesn't do anything for you and just belittles you about your weight should immediately be brought to the attention of the AMA. File a complaint. This crap is ridiculous.

[Amanda 3.0 140]

Thank God my primary care physician is not like that. The gynecologist I went to a couple of times was like that. It was misery going there so I stopped. Nagging us isn't going to make us lose the weight, but it will make us dread healthcare.

My PCP and my brand NEW gynecologist are supportive of WLS. And, they are pleasant people, not nags.

[clk 3,519]

I don't think you're hearing something different at all. In my experience this has happened numerous times. I use Tricare, and whenever I visit doctors at a military treatment facility the issue is ALWAYS my weight. I seem to get more understanding care from non-military doctors I've seen off base but I see from this post that it can be an issue everywhere.

I broke my right leg in 2005. I broke three bones in five places and completely shredded a ligament. I was in a wheelchair for four months and totally unable to walk. After moving to a new base, I went in for a referral for physical therapy because the humidity in our new location was giving me a lot of grief. I was refused a referral by a doctor that clearly didn't even bother to open my chart. I was told to lose 50 pounds and my leg would feel better.

So yes, it happens. It happens all too often in an industry full of people that blindly repeat what they were taught: that weight loss is a simple matter of willpower and exercise, that a 1200 calorie diet is one-size-fits-all and that if the patient isn't losing weight they're either not trying hard enough or lying about trying in the first place. And heaven forbid you're on an Army post because doctors think the sun rises and sets on the BMI chart. The first thing they do is plop you on a scale and heaven forbid you're considered overweight or obese! I'm still right on the line between normal and overweight and just got scolded by my doctor - again, one who didn't even bother to look at my chart and see that I'm half the size I was two years ago.

And while some of my heath issues are dramatically improved post VSG (namely, resolution of my diabetes) the other issues (back pain, endometriosis, occasional pain from that old leg injury) are still here and still bother me.

I really dislike doctors, and because of the discrimination in the past I'm more inclined to nurse myself through anything other than a major problem or injury simply because I don't want to hear another lecture about my weight.

~Cheri

[circa 333]

I don't think there's a problem with a doctor bringing up a weight issue with someone who is overweight - in fact, they should. However, it should happen after the reason the patient is there is resolved FIRST.

[Writergirl 230]

This just makes me so angry on behalf of you and all overweight people. I went to a doctor one time and said, "I'm having a lot of hand pain." He said, "Lose weight and that will get better." I looked at him with disbelief and replied rather sarcastically, "Excuse me, but I don't walk on my hands." Another time, I had fallen on the ice and could barely walk. I went to the doc and he said it was arthritis and I'd just have to live with it. Miraculously, my "arthritis" was completely healed in about 8 weeks with no medical help whatsoever! Unforunately, treatment like this caused me to stop going to doctors, and I have many permanent problems now that I may have been able to head off if I had been seen earlier. Don't give in to being dismissed and lectured! Insist on tests and proper diagnosis!