Starting Mushies, Feeling Guilt. Wth?!

[AliveAgain 283]

Yesterday was a big day for me. I had made it through Phase I of my NUT's diet plan, the two week post-op Fluid only stage. Whoo hoo! I was told so long as I was getting in my 70g of Protein and taking in 64oz of fluids consistently, then I could progress to the mushy stage. My husband and I went shopping together for the first time since surgery, and I bought the basics - greek yogurt, eggs, cottage cheese, canned tuna, etc. I was so excited at the thought of getting to taste food again! So for lunch yesterday, I pureed some tuna, seasoned it to taste and was ready to go. I think I ate 1tbsp and pushed it aside. I really hadn't given myself the time to eat it - just 20 minutes - I was rushed to make an appointment. It just didn't seem to fulfull me. I continued with my shakes to get my Protein in...

Then last night I decided I wanted to try again. So I heated up two Trader Joe's chicken meatballs with 2tbsp of Tomato sauce, and grated 1oz of cheddar cheese. By MFP, this was still only a 130cal dinner, light carbs and about 10g protein. It took me an hour to eat it, making sure I took time between bites. No problems, no nausea or pain, no sliming. Then the oddest thing happened....

GUILT!!!

It is so hard to explain, but I had the most dreaded feelings of guilt that I had just "cheated" and completely messed up my "diet." I told my husband I bet I would gain back 2lbs over night. I felt absolutely disgusted and told myself, "Well back to just fluids tomorrow!!"

Did anyone else experience this? It felt so illogical, when I looked at the teenie tiny bowl I used (same size as one of our cat food bowls) and realized I was FULL off of something so small.

Then, just to mess with me - the scale was DOWN by 2lbs this morning! AGHH! I hope my brain catches up soon because it is seriously messing with me....

[hadouni 301]

oh yeah! my head often went to "why am I bothering to eat this when I'm trying to loose weight anyway". Now I'm battling the 1/3 cup of food at a time now- it's sort-of like, why bother and it doesn't ususally make me feel very good- especially meats. I need to practice chewing more with meats and have to fight the idea of taking a little liquid to help soften them up. Last night I ate some chicken and felt awful for 30 minutes or so.

I don't regret surgery for a second but eating is more of a chore than pleasure for sure these days!

[Reddi4change 27]

i guessed before i read that u would be two pounds under, lol

[Terry H. 196]

It is great that you recognize this. Our minds do weird things to us as we change our lifelong processes and move through the food phases.

What's weird to me is how my brain has adapted to recognizing small portions as a lot of food. Sometimes I have to double check my diet log to be sure my meal is really around 200 calories. I also had a problem moving from liquids to purees because I didn't want to have pain (I never did) and I was convinced that solids would hurt my stomach. I pushed through these issues and I'm sure you will press through yours. If you continue to have trouble though, you might consider consulting a psychologist or a NUT to help work through the issues. Guilt could lead you down a bad road. Best to you emlefe.

[MoonSiren 48]

Eating is a chore for me too. I no longer enjoy my food AT ALL. I keep fearing it will get stuck and leave me with the severe pain in my chest whilst I cough it up. I make sure to liquify all food before I will swallow.

[Amanda 3.0 140]

When I started foods, a tablespoon or two was really enough (I am at eight weeks today). Even today, 1/4 cup of cottage cheese and a few pita chips is more than enough. Maybe slow back on eating and just ease into it so that you get used to the idea of eating healthily, but won't feel guilty.

A lot of us are probably used to feeling guilty for eating and for me it was a relief to not have to deal with the food during that liquid phase.

Congrats on your loss!

[mominkansas 2]

To me it makes a bit of sense. You've seen results eating almost nothing, two meatballs as sensible and healthy as they are seem like an indulgence. Next time you feel guilty, remember what you ate BEFORE you were sleeved!

[rebecca b 19]

I am still getting these feeling, and sometimes have dreams that I won't lose anything, I do, and you will too. It's slow and steady there is no race. I am two months out now and can eat more that before. I track everything and try not to get nutso if I get to 1200 calories. I remember that it takes my body 2300 calories to maintain, and that I will lose weight. It's just a overwhelming change. But we will all get there together!

sleeved 12-19-11

[Pookeyism 1,143]

I had/have that at times. I get an odd "this is too easy" feeling - I spent years being hungry. I am just taking it one day at a time, and letting my waist let me know better!

[Catracks 865]

I just ate Beans with a slice of bacon sliced up in it. Decadent, but not so bad considering I can do 2-3 oz. Boy, I should feel guilty, but I don't! I'm back to losing almost a pound a day.

I wouldn't feel guilty unless that was 2 ounces of chocolate candy.< /p>

We aren't meant to subsist on liquids. Just pack the sleeve with Protein and a little vegetable. Gotta have the Fiber. believe me.

[AliveAgain 283]

Thanks everyone. I'm sure it will pass, just wanted to know if I was the only one. I tend to overthink things WAY TOO MUCH!

Yes, I do have a fear of non-liquid foods for now -- afraid of finding leaks, etc. Yes, I do have a fear that when things become "normal" again and I can eat what I want in smaller portions that I won't make smart decisions. In my dreams, I find myself mindlessly eating something and just before I swallow, I remember I had surgery, and I panic as to what to do -- since I'm usually in a social situation in my dreams.

So many weird emotions to go through!