Is This Self-Sabotage?

[Writergirl 230]

I'm 3 weeks post-op and have been on mushies for 11 days. My stomach is in constant turmoil. Almost everything I eat disagrees with me. Unfortunately, I've found that Ritz crackers feel really good, and mashed potatoes are the best thing ever. Today we went to the movies and I had a small amount of soft candy. I'm also eating Peanut Butter. Then tonight I combined the crackers and peanut butter and just for fun added a bit of grape jelly. Suddenly I thought, "WTF!!!!!" What am I doing??? This is just like every diet I've ever sabotaged!!! Granted, I'm eating very small amounts, but OMG!!! I did low carb for months before this surgery, and now I'm allowing myself carbs because that's all that feels good. So I'm asking you for an honest answer: Should I go a little easy on myself until I'm healed enough to add more veggies, fruit, and meat in my diet, or do I need to cut out all those carbs right now, even if it means I have very few food choices. (I can't eat any dairy whatsoever right now.) I'm very good at making excuses, so I can't make this decision myself. Please tell me what to do. Thanks.

[peacequeen 434]

I think you're being a little tough on yourself. If you have those things in moderation and small amounts I think it's fine. There might be others that disagree with me but I had this surgery so I could cut portions, not deprive myself of everything I've ever loved..however I am eating healthier most of the time. I've eaten a few things that I ate pre op that are probably not on the healthy list but I don't do that everyday and it's in small amounts. My weight loss has been steady.

[SleeveDreamer 383]

I was not allowed Peanut Butter or crackers in the mushy stage.

[circa 333]

I think anything in moderation is fine - just don't let it be your basic food choices. If mashed potatoes go down easy, try mashed cauliflower. Its healthier and low low carb and tastes magnificent

There's always a substitute

[Viola 15]

Dear Writergirl,

You sound like you are in freak-out mode and I know exactly what that feels like. It seems like an alarm went off in your head and had the WTF moment. You know yourself better than anyone else and the tricks your mind plays to justify bad behaviors. You know the answer to your question sweetheart or you wouldn't have had the WTF moment. Its great that you are in tune to yourself and picking up road hazards on your new journey.

Your tummy is 11 days old and still healing. I'd stay away from carbs that have no nutritional value. Focus on getting your Protein in through Protein shakes. Have you tried almond milk? I use it with a GNC Protein powder and really enjoy it. Just remember that although you got a new tummy the old tapes in your head are still there and ready to sabotage you if you let it.

Best of luck Writergirl, stay strong and keep reaching out for support. We've all been there at one time or another.

[Amanda 3.0 140]

Were you given a diet plan by your surgeon's office? If so, I would try to stick closely to that. I was not allowed crackers until 5 weeks, and those were to be added to Soup. Of course we all have different plans, so it seems.

If your stomach is in constant turmoil, there could be a few things going on. Some might say acid. Another thing, is it truly your stomach? Because now your stomach is sitting much higher than it was, like high in your chest. If the turmoil is in your gut, it probably isn't your stomach. And, don't hesitate to take a step back to full liquids if solids are not agreeing. You don't have to progress too quickly if you are not ready.

Just consider that your body really needs Protein, and a lot of it. Are you getting enough?

Regardless of any advice received here or anywhere else, the results will be what they are. If you don't eat the right foods, you may lose your hair. If you are eating junk food, you may not lose weight. If you go back to bad nutrition choices, you can still gain weight.

I hope you are feeling better soon!

[AllForMy4 58]

Ok I will be 3 weeks out on Wednesday. I went through something similar and I believe that's what caused my stall at a week and a half out. I wasn't eating crackers but I was making really cheesy dips that included chicken, velveeta cheese, etc. And I was eating Snacks with my husband like a couple bites of cheesecake off his plate,a couple pieces of chex mix muddy buddy,etc. I had no room for the healthy stuff! At my one week post op appt my dr told me I was free to eat whatever(healthy) as long as I chewed it thoroughly and went slow. I started eating a bit of ice cream,a lil while later a couple bites of pudding, a while after that some of the velveeta dip stuff and so on...While I don't believe there is enough calories and or fat in the little bitty amounts I was sticking in my sleeve to make you gain a bunch of weight,I do believe all of this and the scale showed it with a 1 lb gain and then stall at a week and a half out: 1-Not eating planned out meals and just grazing throughout the day was getting in the way of my Fluid intake. I had it in my mind that I could not tolerate Protein Shakes so that was being sabotoged as well,and none of these things are healthy. I was not coming to terms with the fact that my sleeve is still too small and new for me to be eating these things and still getting in the nutrition that I need. If I'm not getting in enough liquids or Protein, my body is in starvation mode and will hang onto any little bit of fat it can to store for energy,I will feel weak and fatigued like I was,my hair will start falling out(one of my biggest fears). I gave my scale to my mom and made SURE to put lean protein foods first,and that's about all I can fit in my sleeve. My rule of thumb now is NO food goes into my mouth when I wake up until I have had at least 20 ozs of liquids,I follow that with a muscle milk light which has 20 grams of protein and my sleeve loves it compared to a Protein Shake. Then I have to have 10 more ounces of liquids b4 lunch. I can only stomach 1.5 ounces of chicken with hot sauce and a dab of blue cheese on it then I'm full. Wait about an hour and make myself finish off 10 more ounces of fluids before dinner. I then eat tuna, salmon,cheese,or chicken,something with protein for dinner. By then I have had more than 40 grams of protein and 40 ounces of liquids. I am free for the rest of the evening to drink liquids,eat a couple bites of SF pudding (I usually sprinkle some unflavored protein in it) or even eat a SF fruit bar-only 25 calories and soooo good! The reason I am saying all this is bc this: Since I put my foot down and started doing what I know I should be,my stall ended quickly and I have lost 3 more lbs in 3 days! I had to realize that I will eventually get to enjoy these things in moderation,but the whole reason I got the sleeve is so I can fill it with healthy,protein rich foods,vitamins and liquids consistently until my excess weight is gone. I will from now on save the junk food till I am farther out. That 1 lb gain and stall was enough to snap me out of it and remember what I was blessed with. Now,that being said it's just my opinion and I do believe everyone's body is different and everyone can handle things differently. I just kinda wanted to let u in on my experience thus far out and hope I can help in someway. ((HUGS)) and stay strong,we will get through this!

[Rootman 1,101]

What Amanda said - it may be stomach acid. Ask the doc about an acid reducer - a PPI.

While it's tru that the majority of the stomach with the acid pumps is cut away, the few that are left can over run a swollen small sleeve space quite quickly and lead to an acidic feeling that we are programed to interpret as hunger. A PPI can help this. You may also be able to ween off them as the sleeve stops swelling and settles down.

And as the others said - all things in moderation, if you're still losing then you are on the right track. I personally had to eat saltine crackers to ease the acid at times. I still eat a snack of them almost every day.

We all wish you well.

[Lissa 2,631]

I'm not going to say that your food choices are "bad", because they really aren't bad. They just may not be the best foods you could put in your sleeve. Peanut Butter is pretty high in Protein, so that's a good choice. Jelly, candy, crackers and mashed taters are all carby foods that might cause you to stall, so in that sense they are not good choices. HOWEVER, if YOU think those things will cause you to stumble, then you need to avoid or limit them.

Have you tried refried Beans? They are very soft and go down easily in the mushy stages. You can add cheese to them to up the Protein, and their flavor/texture is good for hiding some extra Protein Powder. How about some SF pudding or candy instead of the full sugar version? There is also a Peanut Butter powder that Amazon sells which gives you the advantages of peanut butter (flavor, high protein) without the fat attached to the store bought versions.

I agree that there are always choices and substitutes to make things healthier. I also think that an occasional treat isn't going to hurt you, but occasional means once a week or once a month, not daily.

Do you have a therapist? If not, it may be time to find one. You say that you don't trust your own judgment on this issue, so you really should talk to a pro to help you develop that trust in your own ability to do this. ALL of us have food issues and need to deal with them. Having a little professional support will make it easier.

[IowaAndy 95]

I think you are being a little hard on yourself. I would be interested in know what type of a diet that you were given by your NUT. My diet is very specific in what I can eat and I know that I was not eating veggies at 11 days post op. In my mushy stage I was eating Gerber baby food as it was easier for me than trying to cook and at about 60cents a jar it would take me through 2-3 meals. I did find some that I did not like but the chicken and noodles was actually pretty good when you add a little salt and pepper. I would be glad to copy and mail you or email you the copy of my diet and at what weeks they suggest adding other foods. Best of luck and do not get down on yourself.

[Flagstaffian 31]

I'm 3 weeks post-op and have been on mushies for 11 days. My stomach is in constant turmoil. Almost everything I eat disagrees with me. Unfortunately, I've found that Ritz crackers feel really good, and mashed potatoes are the best thing ever. Today we went to the movies and I had a small amount of soft candy. I'm also eating Peanut Butter. Then tonight I combined the crackers and peanut butter and just for fun added a bit of grape jelly. Suddenly I thought, "WTF!!!!!" What am I doing??? This is just like every diet I've ever sabotaged!!! Granted, I'm eating very small amounts, but OMG!!! I did low carb for months before this surgery, and now I'm allowing myself carbs because that's all that feels good. So I'm asking you for an honest answer: Should I go a little easy on myself until I'm healed enough to add more veggies, fruit, and meat in my diet, or do I need to cut out all those carbs right now, even if it means I have very few food choices. (I can't eat any dairy whatsoever right now.) I'm very good at making excuses, so I can't make this decision myself. Please tell me what to do. Thanks.

Writergirl, I'm a writer too. With an analytical mind. That loves to consider self-sabotage...but honey, it doesn't sound like you're purposefully sabotaging yourself, even subconsciously. It sounds like you just had MAJOR FREAKIN SURGERY and your body IS screaming uot "WTF?!". I don't have NUT advice for you, but I did want to tell you that I'm rooting for you, and I hope you keep us updated. ((HUGS))

SF

[jhope 11]

I'm 3 weeks post-op and have been on mushies for 11 days. My stomach is in constant turmoil. Almost everything I eat disagrees with me. Unfortunately, I've found that Ritz crackers feel really good, and mashed potatoes are the best thing ever. Today we went to the movies and I had a small amount of soft candy. I'm also eating Peanut Butter. Then tonight I combined the crackers and Peanut Butter and just for fun added a bit of grape jelly. Suddenly I thought, "WTF!!!!!" What am I doing??? This is just like every diet I've ever sabotaged!!! Granted, I'm eating very small amounts, but OMG!!! I did low carb for months before this surgery, and now I'm allowing myself carbs because that's all that feels good. So I'm asking you for an honest answer: Should I go a little easy on myself until I'm healed enough to add more veggies, fruit, and meat in my diet, or do I need to cut out all those carbs right now, even if it means I have very few food choices. (I can't eat any dairy whatsoever right now.) I'm very good at making excuses, so I can't make this decision myself. Please tell me what to do. Thanks.

You know as well as any of us, u cant go there. There aint nowhere in retardville you want to be sabotaged. You need to jump out of that fat food frying pan now. Alchoholics dont go to bars and we dont go to rits peanut butter jars! Get out this instant....Just felt like you needed that! HaHa...but Im not kidding. You need to leave the dead zone and not look for a fast fix, but get out of the movies sitting house, and get walking and get your cook books out and see what whould taste great, feel like a carb delight, but not be. Like a squash Soup with bacon, taste real carby but its not. Orange squash, calaflower cooked to the bone, put in processor with cheese and yummy. Your enemy is doing things that require you to sit. Just me....

[former_vbg 198]

I think what everyone else has said about eating these things this early in your journey is something you need to back away from is pretty much my thoughts. I would only add that if you look at people who are 4 to 6 months out and beyond with weight to lose still, you will see that the honeymoon period is pretty short lived and personally I would hate to see you lose out on that honeymoon period by eating these things. It will likely take longer for you to reach your final goal. The only other thing that someone sort of touched on already, but high carbs/ sugary things can be difficult to de-tox from and keep your body from wanting more and more and more... You should consider sticking to your surgeon/ Nuts plan the best you can and then as you start getting the hang of your new eating, you can incorporate some of those things back into your eating. Like its already been said- all (or most) things in moderation. You can do this, you are paying attention to your body!

[christin 54]

I do understand feeling the need to eat and your sleeve not liking new foods you are introducing. For me, I went back to Protein Shakes with tiny meals. My nutritionist told me 3 meals a day even if it is a few bites until full and no snacking in between. Whatever shortage of Protein I have has to come from shakes. Part of this journey is starting good habits right from the start and crackers and soft candy are not good habits to get into. I have had a few crackers too and admit that they go down so good, but I know I can't go back down that road. Don't be hard on yourself. This is a learning process, but be careful not to go down that slippery slope to snacking.

[Writergirl 230]

Wow... you guys are the best. I can't tell you much your thoughtful, funny, and wise advice means to me. Every one of you has given me valuable insight. Last night after I wrote this I had a big meeting with myself. Viola, I think you hit it right on when you said I already knew the answer to my own question when I had my "WTF" moment. I cannot continue to feed my body empty calories and expect to be healthy. Formervbg, you are dead on about the honeymoon phase. I reminded myself that never again in my life will I have this particular period of time in which to lose weight at this rate. I CANNOT screw this up! I didn't do this to fail. I have played "beat the diet" over, and over, and over in my life, toying with the rules, eating a few sneaky bites here and there... and it took me to a place where I had to have surgery or die young. So, thank you for being my sounding board. You are all going to keep me honest. I need that. Today I have done much better. Just had and egg for Breakfast, a MEASURED quarter of a cup of bean Soup for lunch, and tonight it's chicken pot pie, without any crust. I also got out the guidelines from my nutritionist, and it's time to get serious here. Thanks again!