When People (Friends,family ,relatives ) Think You Took The "easy Way" With Wls ( Rant)

[Dooter 1,457]

The first person that tells me this is easy is going to get punched dead in the face!!! (and I'm NOT a violent person!!)

You don't need THAT in your life. I pray for us all.

[Liliana Arleen 173]

The first person that tells me this is easy is going to get punched dead in the face!!! (and I'm NOT a violent person!!)

You don't need THAT in your life. I pray for us all.

Ha ha ha you always make laugh lady

[Liliana Arleen 173]

You can't really tell what kind a friend a person will be though. We just fall into our friendships, which evolve. We invest a lot of time getting to know a person, and then something like this ruins the friendship. Sounds like she has her own issues that were probably similar to yours and mine, but addressed in a different way.

People are going to do what they are going to do, think what they are going to think, but when they open their mouth and start passing judgment like she did, friendships get broken.

Also, too many people broadcast way too much on Facebook. Hello, is she 12? There is no need to broadcast every thought and opinion on Facebook. For5 some people, Facebook is drama central.

Agree Facebook is full of Drama!!

[mamasez 9]

"When people show you who they are, believe them the FIRST time." Maya Angelou. I have been in similar situations and when I look back carefully, I can easily see that those "friends" who have said and/or done nasty things have always shown me who they really were beforehand and I overlooked it. It could have been in the way they talked behind someone else's back, made previous negative comments about others (on FB or elsewhere), been rude to others unneccesarily or been mean to me before.... something that I should've seen as a sign of who they really are. But until they hurt me big time or repeatedly, I would let it slide bc I want to be a loving, forgiving person. Then I finally got it. I put love out there, but when you show me you are an unhealthy hateful person, it's bye-bye time. I have learned that people will dish out the behavior YOU tolerate. Don't fume for too long, bc that is negative energy. Just decide you don't tolerate that kind of behavior, realize she showed you (and others by blasting on FB) who she IS and walk toward healthy people who are supportive and even if they don't understand the WLS, support you, and know you are wise enough to make your own decisions.

[KellyL 173]

Yeah that person wasn't really your friend and she proved it. Real friends don't act jealous because we are trying to become healthier and improve our lives. I have found a lot of some people will keep others around and call them friend, when in actuality, they want to hang around us to make themselves feel more __________ (fill in the blank with prettier, smarter, sexier, skinnier, richer, etc). When something like this threatens them and their little world, they just can't handle it. They lose it, and show their true colors. Don't feel bad, it's not your fault she was so selfish. And the Facebook status also proved she is very immature.

:hug:

[Ihave6kids 29]

IF I HEAR SOMEONE SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME, I AM GOING TO SCREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMMMMM!!! Why do these people assume they know what its like to go through 30 years of trying to lose weight., a hundred different ways. Then finally we find something to help us finally lose our weight. The easy way out?!?!?!?!?!? You gotta be kidding me. I've never worked so hard to lose and keep my weight in my life!!!!! Who needs friends like that?? I sure don't.

[circa 333]

That they're taking the "easy way out" by not understanding what you have been through. That they should take a look at their own lives and find out what exactly they're trying to hide and push down by finding faults in my choices. What exactly is it that makes THEM an expert on my life and my choices?

Bottom line, people judge and criticize when they don't understand or they see their own fears being reflected in your life. If they're overweight, they're trying to keep you that way so they don't feel alone. If they're not overweight, they don't understand what its like to deal with a health issue like obesity.

[SittingPretty 16]

You do not need toxic friends in your life. You did the right thing. I am amazed by the audacity of some people. If they have all the answers to weight loss...write a book, save the world and leave me alone!

[Escape_Pod 358]

So, I understand the frustration here - what we're doing isn't easy, and it's irritating to deal with someone who thinks we don't have to work at this. But how many of us tried to lose weight before we had surgery? And failed, or ended up regaining it? Multiple times? Most of us have heard the statistics of the success rate for non-surgical options - about 3%?

I don't know about you, but that's why I decided to have the surgery, because it sure as heck works better than trying to do it any other way. Maybe it's more correct to say we took the successfulway, not the easy way. And since I had the choice, I decided it was worth giving myself every possible fighting chance to succeed at this. I'm not ashamed of that.

[missmeow 156]

So I have this long time friend that I met online , She was a really nice girl and our daughter's are close in age. We weight almost the same before pregnancy and after I think she gained more weight than I did. Ok so she is been exercising and dieting after she gave birth and she is been doing pretty good with her weight. When I told her I was getting sleeve,she called me crazy,she said I can eat what I am eating and exercise without having to go under WLS. So then after my surgery ,she was being supportive. We chat very often in Facebook. But lately she was being indifferent as she see my weight loss progress . I weight less than her now and she is upset. She was asking me how many calories a day I eat and I told her that for now I am trying to stay around 900 or so a day.She got very upset because she said she used to had an eating disorder and that she is been on rehab. [Clip remainder]

I think you have made the best decision for both of you. She is not going to be helpful to you at this point because ased on what you wrote, it sounds like she has had eating disorder issues and your posts are triggering to her. She is reacting in a childish and immature way, but sometimes when emotions related to past psychological issues emerge, you don't get the best of people.

So your choice to disengage is the mature one. You are doing what is best for you and her by distancing yourself. So feel good that you set boundaries and kept to them

[starlet 28]

My sister had the RNY performed two years ago. I supported her every step of the way but, and I'm ashamed to admit it, I had thoughts of "Well if you just stopped eating so much junk you wouldn't have to go through the risks of surgery".

Looking back I think I felt that way because I was scared something would happen to her while in surgery and yes, part of me was a little jealous that she was on her way to a brand new life. Obviously I got over my insecurities and of course I never once said any of my thoughts to her.

Its possible your friend is jealous and obviously isn't handling it well. Im sorry you have to deal with that

[Pookeyism 1,143]

My sister had the RNY performed two years ago. I supported her every step of the way but, and I'm ashamed to admit it, I had thoughts of "Well if you just stopped eating so much junk you wouldn't have to go through the risks of surgery".

Looking back I think I felt that way because I was scared something would happen to her while in surgery and yes, part of me was a little jealous that she was on her way to a brand new life. Obviously I got over my insecurities and of course I never once said any of my thoughts to her.

Its possible your friend is jealous and obviously isn't handling it well. Im sorry you have to deal with that

So incredibley brave of you to admit that. So many of us, if not all of us, have had thoughts like that.