When People (Friends,family ,relatives ) Think You Took The "easy Way" With Wls ( Rant)

[Liliana Arleen 173]

Thanks for reading this

[Amanda 3.0 140]

I am sorry you lost a "friend" because you made the very personal choice to better yourself through WLS. It is really not her business, but she chose to be very judgmental and lost a friend.

We all know it isn't the easy way out. I hope you can surround yourself with supportive people who don't make it all about themselves.

By the way, your stats look fantastic! Congratulations on your hard work!

[Becca 108]

I know how you feel! I have a friend that is a personal trainer and she has treated me like that. She has never had a weight problem and it just frustrates me. This is not an easy journey. It is very easy to gain the weight back if you don't eat correctly. Sometimes, you just have to let go of those who are not positive about your journey. This is about a new beginning. It still hurts though. Especially since you were friends. Your true friends are the ones who are happy for your success. Congrats on doing so well! I just noticed you don't live far. I am from Houston.

[New_Hope 54]

I agree, you do not need to surround yourself with those that are not going to be supportive. You will find other supportive online friends on the site here. Congratulations on all your hard work, and for doing so well.

[Lyra 43]

I'm sorry that you lost a "friend" but you're right in saying that you dont need that right now. Keep rocking your sleeve and know that you did what was right for you and to h*ll to all the naysayers that try to keep you down. It takes incredible courage to contemplate this, and incredible fortitude to actually do and succeed at this.

[Liliana Arleen 173]

Thanks ya'all . It actually makes me really angry the way she thinks, I will try to make better friends from now and on ...

[massindex 346]

Good for you. Walk away from the dark side of the force :wink1: Anyone who thinks this is easy, needs to walk a mile in our shoes. WLS is a tool, not the cure-all. There are plenty of people who have failed because they lacked discipline and desire. Ignorance breds hate and hostility and you don't need it.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Who needs people like that! Your better off with out her. I strive to enrich my life with positive people that are supportive of who I am. I love being me! LOL

[rahnava 30]

I had someone at work say in a joking way that I am "cheating". She weighs under 150 and is very tall, she doesn't know how it feels to be obese. I just looked at her and said "b*#$%h please, you will never get it" and moved on. Someone will always say something stupid. They know that unless you are making my meals, wiping my butt, paying my bills, or in my shoes, I really don't care if you think I am "cheating" or not! You guys now this is hard mental and physical work!!! This is not easy for any of us. We got cut to save our lives, some of us multiple times with revisions.

I say forget people like that. You are doing well. Don't let any one discourage you, EVER!

[lsereno 2,525]

You made the right move. For family and those I really care about, I make the effort to help them understand if they don't get it. But for others, I just cut contact with them if possible and if I can't avoid them, I keep personal contact to a minimum.

I've been lucky that my family, friends, and acquaintances have been supportive for the most part.

Lynda

[circa 333]

It may feel like you lost a friend, but you didn't. That person was NOT being a friend. She was jealous and hurt. She thought she's always have you to put down and compare herself to.

I have a sister in law like that. Its become too hard to be friends with her so I'm not.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

I agree after all that it is probably better you not associate with her - but for her good also.

WLS is definateltly not an easy way out, but also not accessible to everyone and I do think there is a real possibility we can be a bit if a detrement to someone's progress if they have had prior issues (like her eating disorder). It isn't that we are at fault, but I have seen alot of sour grapes/sweet lemons reactions to WLS.

There has to be some evaluation of where the comment came from, and why - and then (or perhaps before) decide if it even matters. You can't fix people, and some are just not emotionally valuable enough to try to help them see why it was right for you have WLS.

I told one person who asked "why are you convinced it is the only way out" - I asked her if I had come across like that and she said, "well, I just assumed that you had to be desperate to have surgery". So I think we both caught each other off guard. I would have never gave up my yoga and increasingly better eating habits, etc. I would have always tried - just like I have the last 33 years of my life, so I don't know if I felt desperate but I did feel like I had exhausted all other options. From her point of view surgery somehow seems more drastic than being hungry everyday (and for me it was EVERYDAY) for months and even years at a time...I feel like the way I had to go to even maintain a large size was a horrible thing to endure. WLS preparation and expense and everything is nothing compared to the constant state of hunger.

I may have answered a rant with a rant - lol. Sorry!

[Mater 63]

No rant needed............. Why do you think we have two middle fingers......... Use em or lose em!!! There is always a picture after you are done with you loss. All you need is a little black dress and a copy of Toby Keiths "How Do You Like Me Now" To top it off mail it to her COD........... I WIN!!!

[Amanda 3.0 140]

Thanks ya'all . It actually makes me really angry the way she thinks, I will try to make better friends from now and on ...

You can't really tell what kind a friend a person will be though. We just fall into our friendships, which evolve. We invest a lot of time getting to know a person, and then something like this ruins the friendship. Sounds like she has her own issues that were probably similar to yours and mine, but addressed in a different way.

People are going to do what they are going to do, think what they are going to think, but when they open their mouth and start passing judgment like she did, friendships get broken.

Also, too many people broadcast way too much on Facebook. Hello, is she 12? There is no need to broadcast every thought and opinion on Facebook. For5 some people, Facebook is drama central.

[Ramses 7]

Dont let people like that bring you down, somebody in my family told me I was lazy because I got sleeved. I dont think working almost 50 hours a week and working out 4 to 5 times a week qualifies for being lazy. Some people are ignorant or just dont have enough facts before they decide to speak. Im sorry you lost a friend, maybe one day that person will realize the mistake she made by wrongly judging you.