Telling People How Much I've Lost...means Admitting I Had That Much To Lose.

[jencomenz 3]

So I was pretty much in denial about how obease I'd become.

Losing 10, 20, 30, even 40 pounds didn't have much of an impact; I know, every little bit helps, but I was still above 200 and people still weren't noticing any changes.

At 50 and 60 pounds gone people were starting to say "have you lost a little weight?" and in my mind I was thinking - a little are you kidding me? But my response was always "yes and I have a long ways to go" after all, I was only half way there.

Not until 70 and 80 pounds did it finally hit me that holy moly I've lost a LOT of weight!

Now I'm at 90 pounds, and on the inside I'm so proud of myself and my accomplishment, but on the outside I'm almost embarrased to tell people that huge number. Because that means admitting out loud that I had that much to lose in the first place, which has been hard for me to accept from the very beginning.

[former_vbg 198]

You are certainly not alone. I saw someone at work that I haven't seen since last Fall. I walked by her desk and she did a double take and she says, "Kerri, is that you?" I looked at her and her mouth was ajar in amazement. She just couldn't get over how much weight I have lost. So, then she asks, how much weight have you lost. I have decided to stick with just saying "alot" and that tells them enough, but I don't have to go into so much detail that it is embarrassing to admit I lost x amount of weight. Now, close personal friends I will share that number because I know they are supportive of my goal and won't judge me.

So, whether you decide to give a number or not- just be proud of your accomplishments. For the first time in years, I enjoy getting dressed for work because in the past I dressed a bit frumpy because quite frankly I didn't care. It seemed like no amount of "dressing up" hid how disgusted I felt with my fat self. Now, just 30# away from my final goal and even though I wish I was finished yesterday I know I will get there. So will you!

So I was pretty much in denial about how obease I'd become.

Losing 10, 20, 30, even 40 pounds didn't have much of an impact; I know, every little bit helps, but I was still above 200 and people still weren't noticing any changes.

At 50 and 60 pounds gone people were starting to say "have you lost a little weight?" and in my mind I was thinking - a little are you kidding me? But my response was always "yes and I have a long ways to go" after all, I was only half way there.

Not until 70 and 80 pounds did it finally hit me that holy moly I've lost a LOT of weight!

Now I'm at 90 pounds, and on the inside I'm so proud of myself and my accomplishment, but on the outside I'm almost embarrased to tell people that huge number. Because that means admitting out loud that I had that much to lose in the first place, which has been hard for me to accept from the very beginning.

[Itsanewdaycassandra 45]

Wow this really hit home for me. I know what you mean, somehow when I was 300 I just felt like a big girl. I knew that I was large but still did not fully accept how the weight shaped my life. It saddens me that for years I would not take photos or go to the park and play with my son or even really look in the mirror at my body and not just my face. But, here I am now, so thankful to be on the other side and now I know that I have to adopt the things that I dropped from my life back.

No matter what you should be proud! And you never have to give out full disclosure on how much you have lost if you don’t want to.

Sending you loving thoughts!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

Hi Jen

Numbers seem to define us. They are "inanimate" (msp) objects - but they are so poweful.

Try not to give in to them.

Best, kathy

on the other hand, can't wait to reach.... and size....! what a hypocrit am I? hope you seriously still know what i mean, and hopefully i'll learn for me too!

A number is just a #- be strong!

Good luck to us all

kathy

[Tif 2.0 141]

_{Your post is EXACTLY how I feel. At work, I'm not telling anyone how much I'm losing. No hard numbers. They all know I had surgery and are very supportive, but my sharing anything beyond that is kept to a minimum. My husband doesn't even know exactly how much I want to lose. The only people that know are my cousin and best friend and Doctor. LOL!}

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

I don't think I've ever actually told anyone at work exactly how much I've lost except for a very few, maybe 2 people that I can think of. I mean, the see the significant difference, especially those who knew me from back at my biggest... I still never told them I've lost 160 Lbs. I mean do the math. They'd know I was well over 300 Lbs then. I don't know, it's just not something I ever felt comfortable sharing.

My own family doesn't even know how much I've lost, how much I weigh now or even what sizes I wear. The only person who does is my darling husband. We celebrated together when I finally weighed less than him.

You don't have to tell anyone anything you aren't comfortable with. You're certainly not alone in that! *hugs*

[yecats 109]

I was the only one that did not realize that I had to lose A LOT of weight. Setting up my ticker was a wake call. Don't get me wrong, I knew but didn't let it sink in. I have a fear of people, asking me questions about how much I have lost but I thought it was because I do not like the attention on me.

Being sleeved recently I haven't experienced those things. Thank you for posting this for it gives me insight and also prepares me how to deal with it.

[mnbsleeve 87]

So I was pretty much in denial about how obease I'd become.

Losing 10, 20, 30, even 40 pounds didn't have much of an impact; I know, every little bit helps, but I was still above 200 and people still weren't noticing any changes.

At 50 and 60 pounds gone people were starting to say "have you lost a little weight?" and in my mind I was thinking - a little are you kidding me? But my response was always "yes and I have a long ways to go" after all, I was only half way there.

Not until 70 and 80 pounds did it finally hit me that holy moly I've lost a LOT of weight!

Now I'm at 90 pounds, and on the inside I'm so proud of myself and my accomplishment, but on the outside I'm almost embarrased to tell people that huge number. Because that means admitting out loud that I had that much to lose in the first place, which has been hard for me to accept from the very beginning.

I know what you mean about the first 30 or 40 lbs. not being noticed. About a week ago I went to get my hair done and my stylist, who has seen me drop close to 80 lbs.!!! says to me, "wow, have you lost weigth?!" It cracked me up because I had been stalled and had finally dropped about 2 lbs. since my last visit!!! LOL I'm thinking, wow, you didn't notice the other 76 but these 2 little beauties did the trick!!! Obviously, proportionally speaking, a couple of pounds now really show whereas when I weighed well over 240 lbs. they were mere fluctuations! LOL

I do take some offense when people ask "how much weight have you lost?" It's not appropriate and I put it right up there with questions like "how much money do you make? or have in your savings account?" It's really none of anybody's business and it's rude to take such liberties. But I think it's that cultural value that "fat people" somehow are fair game. No one askes a thin fit person about their food or weight etc. I LOVED the response from the poster above who said she responds " a lot." That says it all in a very polite way!!!!

Happy losing everyone! :-)

[Reddi4change 27]

i've always felt that someone asking how mich you've lost is a backhanded way of asking you how much you weigh. I think that is an invasive question. As if their rude comments about you being fat werent enough.

[massindex 346]

Just for a different view, I pretty much tell them that I've lost over 200 lbs. I felt I needed to own it in order to accept my decision to change my lifestyle. Hiding it was something I did when I was overweight.

[Reddi4change 27]

thats a good attitiude, i kinda feel like fatness is a visible weakness already that u cant run from anyway, but i like ur positve outlook towards self improvement

[Spatters3 315]

Amen brother, own it ! It's the same reason I don't dye my gray hair - I earned every last one of them and I am proud of surviving this long. When I finally start losing weight (I get sleeved Monday :-) I will proudly tell anyone who asks (and I'm sure some who don't) exactly how much I've lost and how I did it.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

i've always felt that someone asking how mich you've lost is a backhanded way of asking you how much you weigh. I think that is an invasive question. As if their rude comments about you being fat werent enough.

Hi - reddi4change - i think your comment is right on target. i never looked at it that way, thanx for the insight

kathy

[Amanda 3.0 140]

Years ago, I lost a lot (over 100 lbs) of weight through diet and exercise (gained a big chunk back obviously, which is why I am here - lol).

It is an odd feeling to go from the office outcast (socially) to becoming a "real person" now worthy of socializing with. And to have the comments from coworkers, "I am so proud of you", "How much have you lost now?", etc. It's not their business, and weight is really not a good topic unless you are very close friends.

I will tell the people who have been my friends for a long time and who were supportive of my journey (checked in after surgery, called me at the hospital, kept my husband company, offered to cook for my family, etc.), or those who have had the same surgery, or have kids going through it. But the morbidly curious don't need to know a damned thing.

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

I agree with other posters that what and who you tell anything about your weight loss is totally your business. Tell the whole truth, nothing at all, or something in between. If you want to keep it private, that is absolutely your right. I like the phrase "a lot" as people above have said - if you don't want to share.

However, most people who ask us if we have lost weight already know we were fat when we started this process. Unlike us, who probably avoided looking in mirrors or shop windows or any reflective surface that would give us a view of what we looked like, other people see the real "us" all the time. They aren't hiding behind a comfortable wall of denial about how big we really are. Now, skinny people may not be able to judge how much we weigh (or even think about it), and some guys may not have a clue (because guys don't look at fat women very often - my opinion) but most other women would probably know generally how much onother woman weighs (+/- 25 pounds). Some people ask because they recognize we have accomplished something pretty amazing, and want to give us props for it. Others may be trying to do the math to find out where we started, but I think that % is a minority. Me personally, I tell people how much I lost, I'm proud of it. If they want to guess where I started out, fine with me. That person is gone for good.